Jargon, clichés, euphemisms . . . lies. Ever wished there was a phrasebook to help you translate all this endless bullsh*t?
When your boss asks ‘Can I have a quick word?’ (real meaning: I don’t have anything to discuss, I just like putting the fear of God into you)or an estate agent describes something as having ‘incredible potential’ (real meaning: absolute shithole), you’d better have Luke Lewis’s essential new book to hand. And if you need a way to spin your latest work disaster, here are numerous tried-and-tested porkies to help you out.
Based on the incredibly popular BuzzFeed series ‘What People Say vs What They Mean’, this in an indispensible – and hilarious – guide to interpreting secret codes, little white lies and complete and utter bollocks.
Examples from What People Say at Work vs What They Mean
‘Anyone fancy a cup of tea?’ – Offer strictly limited to the three people in my immediate vicinity.
‘This is beyond my remit’ – I can’t be arsed to deal with this
‘Team player’ – Has basic social skills, is not an outright sociopath
‘Let’s park this for now’ – Let’s never mention this again
‘We wish her all the best in her new job’ – Burn in hell, traitor