Simon Brett - Seriously Funny, and Other Oxymorons - Little, Brown Book Group

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    • ISBN:9781472139443
    • Publication date:07 Sep 2017
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Seriously Funny, and Other Oxymorons

By Simon Brett

  • Hardback
  • £9.99

A humorous gift book: collection of oxymorons, amusingly illustrated by Paul Thomas.

'Brilliant! Will make a perfect Xmas stocking filler'
Bronya Ralley

'Delightful. This dip-in-anywhere book put a smile on my face from the first page . . . for everyone who likes a good chuckle'
Ruth Milligan

As we all know, the oxymoron is one of the great beauties of the English language. It has been defined as 'a figure of speech that juxtaposes elements that appear to be contradictory'. Famous examples would include 'bitter-sweet', 'open secret' and 'compassionate Conservatism'.

Seriously Funny, and Other Oxymorons brings together a great many examples of the oxymoron genre, amusingly illustrated by Paul Thomas.

The book is arranged according to various categories ranging from Popular Culture to Political Principles and Business Ethics, all covered in Simon Brett's inimitably witty style.

Anyone with an 'unbiased opinion' will quickly grasp that Seriously Funny makes a 'devilishly nice' book.

Biographical Notes

SIMON BRETT is the author of over ninety books, many of them crime novels. His humorous writing includes the internation bestsellers How To Be A Little Sod and Summersdale's very successful Baby Tips series. He was educated at Dulwich College and Wadham College, Oxford, where he gained a First Class Honours Degree in English. A former radio and television producer, he has to date written over ninety books. A great many are crime novels, including the Charles Paris, Mrs Pargeter and Fethering series. Simon was Chairman of the Crime Writers Association from 1986 to 1987 and of the Society of Authors from 1995 to 1997. He is President of the Detection Club and was awarded the 2014 CWA Diamond Dagger. He lives near Arundel in West Sussex and is married with three grown-up children, three grandsons, one granddaughter, and a cat called Polly.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781472139436
  • Publication date: 07 Sep 2017
  • Page count: 160
  • Imprint: Robinson
Constable

Blotto, Twinks and the Intimate Revue

Simon Brett
Authors:
Simon Brett

A quick trip to the capital goes horribly wrong when Blotto and Twinks get accidentally involved in London's criminal underworld . . .It starts innocently enough at the intimate review 'absolutely everyone is talking about', Light and Frothy, where its glamorous star, Frou Frou Gavotte, has rather taken the fancy of Blotto's school friend Giles 'Whiffler' Trumpington. But while Blotto and Whiffler wait for the star outside the theatre to take her to dinner, Whiffler is seized and manhandled into the back of a cab which then drives off into the night . . . Leaving Blotto with the problem of how to rescue his kidnapped schoolmate.Naturally, he enlists Twinks's help and the two of them encounter actors, singers, impresarios, revue writers, cockney showgirls and Scotland Yard's finest - and white slave traders, who succeed in abducting Twinks - leaving it up to Blotto and his trusty chauffeur, Corky Froggett, to rescue her before she's shipped off to foreign parts forever . . .Praise for Simon Brett'A new Simon Brett is an event for mystery fans' P. D. James'Murder most enjoyable' Colin Dexter'One of British crime's most assured craftsmen . . . Crime writing just like in the good old days, and perfect entertainment' Guardian'Few crime writers are so enchantingly gifted' Sunday Times'Simon Brett writes stunning detective stories. I would recommend them to anyone' Jilly Cooper

Sphere

This Will Only Hurt a Little

Busy Philipps
Authors:
Busy Philipps

THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER 'Busy is a legit writer with a voice as clear as a bell' Tina Fey 'Funny, refreshingly candid memoir about Hollywood, motherhood and BFFhood' Cosmopolitan'Judy Blume meets Karl Ove Knausgaard meets one brave woman from Arizona' Miranda JulyA memoir by the beloved comedic actress known for her roles on Freaks and Geeks, Dawson's Creek, and Cougartown who has become 'the breakout star on Instagram stories . . . imagine I Love Lucy mixed with a modern lifestyle guru' (New Yorker).Busy Philipps's autobiographical book offers the same unfiltered and candid storytelling that her Instagram followers have come to know and love, from growing up in Scottsdale, Arizona and her painful and painfully funny teen years, to her life as a working actress, mother, and famous best friend.Busy is the rare entertainer whose impressive arsenal of talents as an actress is equally matched by her storytelling ability, sense of humor, and sharp observations about life, love, and motherhood. Her conversational writing reminds us what we love about her on screens large and small. From film to television to Instagram, Busy delightfully showcases her wry humor and her willingness to bare it all.'I've been waiting my whole life to write this book. I'm just so grateful someone asked. Otherwise, what was the point of any of it??''Candid, painful and extremely wryly funny' Stylist'Like most women, famous or not, bad things have happened to Busy Philipps - as well as weird stuff, jawdropping stuff and heartwarming stuff' Refinery29'This Will Only Hurt a Little has stopped me in my tracks completely' Sophie Heawood, Observer

Constable

Blotto, Twinks and the Stars of the Silver Screen

Simon Brett
Authors:
Simon Brett

Another hair-raising adventure featuring the aristocratic brother and sister sleuthing duo!The end of the cricket season spells gloom for Blotto, until he is invited to bat against the Hollywood cricket team out in sunny LA, where rain never stops play. And so begins the latest adventure for Blotto and his supremely gifted sister Twinks. Although their mother, the Dowager Duchess of Tawcester, keeps a strict rein on her two children, she knows America is full of wealthy young men, all of whom will fall in love with her daughter - and marriage to a Texan millionaire would solve the Tawcester financial problems once and for all.So, accompanied by trusty chauffeur Corky Froggett, the intrepid siblings head out to California. On arrival in Hollywood they are invited to a glitzy party where they are introduced to a firmament of Hollywood stars, directors and gossip columnists, but the mood of the party suddenly curdles with the breaking news that beautiful starlet Mimsy La Pim - the (former) love of Blotto's life - has been kidnapped. And Blotto is determined to make it his personal mission to rescue her.But in the world of old-fashioned cricket matches, gigantic Hollywood egos, film-making disasters and merciless crooks, it soon falls to Twinks to rescue her brother from the various messes he creates when attempting to rescue his damsel in distress. Will the siblings ever get back to Tawcester Towers - or will it be a case of death before wicket?

Constable

Splash!

Stephen Glover
Authors:
Stephen Glover

'I thoroughly enjoyed Splash! It's a delicious confection of excellent plotting, an inventively bonkers cast of characters, subtle insights into the world of newspapers and a satisfying ending which invokes the great Evelyn Waugh's masterpiece, Scoop. A fine comedy of manners by a writer who knows the media inside out' BEL MOONEYSam Blunt is a drunken, broken-down tabloid reporter, working for a once-mighty newspaper struggling to come to terms with the digital age. With the assistance of Benedict, an earnest though clever wet-behind-the-ears young intern on the paper, Sam grapples to uncover the story of the century which reveals the political corruption and cynicism at the heart of a rotten Establishment.As they try to nail the story amid a series of capers, Sam and Benedict are frustrated by the self-serving proprietor of the Daily Bugle, various self-appointed do-gooders who want to rein in the Press, and Trevor Yapp, the malign and untrustworthy editor of Bugle Online. Splash! is a satire of the Press and politics in a modern London peopled by a Chinese billionaire would-be press proprietor, a worldly bishop, neglected immigrants, a corrupt and plaintive Prime Minister, and journalists who are often most interested in doing one another down.Yet however self-serving newspapers may sometimes be, Sam and Benedict are ultimately on the side of the angels as they battle to write their triumphant story.

Constable

Blotto, Twinks and the Heir to the Tsar

Simon Brett
Authors:
Simon Brett
Sphere

You Had Me at Merlot

Lisa Dickenson
Authors:
Lisa Dickenson
Sphere

Art is Dead

Thomas Ridgewell
Authors:
Thomas Ridgewell
Constable

Mr Key's Shorter Potted Brief, Brief Lives

Frank Key
Authors:
Frank Key

Wesley, Samuel (British clergyman and poet, 1662 - 1735). On Christmas Day 1716, Wesley was haunted by an apparition of a badger with no head. It was called Jeffrey.Frank writes: "It occurred to me that it would be a good idea to write a modern, updated version of John Aubrey's Brief Lives. But it further occurred to me that some books are unimproveable, and that in trying to follow in Aubrey's footsteps I would embarrass myself and become the butt of ridicule. The idea continued to nag at me, however, and eventually I decided the solution was to outdo Aubrey in brevity. My own Brief Lives would consist of a single, unadorned fact about each of my subjects. So the reader may not learn very much about the life of X or Y or Z, but they would be armed with one little nugget which might come in handy to chuck into a lull during the conversation at the kind of swish sophisticated cocktail party to which they no doubt get invited."Other entries include: Gibson, Willie Harmsworth, Alfred, Lord Northcliffe Jansson, Tove Lennon, John Stein, GertrudeNixon, Richard MilhousSchubert, FranzTippett, MichaelAnderson, John HenryBrooke, CharlesCallaghan, JamesRussell, Ken

Running Press Adult

Doodle Diary of a New Mom

Lucy Scott
Authors:
Lucy Scott

In 2012, Lucy Scott gave birth to her first baby. Despite her extensive pre-baby research, nothing prepared her for the momentous task of caring for this new little person. Featuring dozens of funny moments like baby's first lunch out to a forensic view of the living room, this charming doodle collection includes 120 two-colour illustrations and is the perfect gift for Mother's Day, baby showers, or year-round fun. Also included are a few doodling prompts in the back of the book so moms can doodle their own first-year memories.

Constable

Jedburgh Justice and Kentish Fire

Paul Anthony Jones
Authors:
Paul Anthony Jones
Constable

Something Nasty in the Slushpile

Sammy Looker
Authors:
Sammy Looker
Sphere

Great Lost Albums

Mark Billingham, David Quantick, Martyn Waites, Stav Sherez
Authors:
Mark Billingham, David Quantick, Martyn Waites, Stav Sherez

We can all name the classic rock and pop albums of the last fifty years. But what about the great lost albums? The albums that fell behind the back of the musical sofa? The albums that, in a very real sense, have been completely made up by the authors of this book?It took a bestselling crime writer or three to hunt down these fifty lost classics, and an award-winning TV comedy scriptwriter to buy them a pint and make them write it. From the 60s to the 00s, with track listings and full histories, Great Lost Albums reveals the recordings that - just perhaps - never existed, but really should have done. Albums include:· Bob Dylan's legendary collaboration with Liberace· Joy Division's 'musical theatre' period· Coldplay's IKEA Sessions, including 'Conscious Uncoupling (See Leaflet for Details)' and 'In my Place (There's a Lovely HEMNES Shelving System)'· The Who's magisterial, abandoned rock opera 'Bingo Wizard' · Kraftwerk's hastily deleted Christmas album, featuring the melancholic classic 'I Wish to Return this Item'...and many, many more.

C & R Crime

Blotto, Twinks and Riddle of the Sphinx

Simon Brett
Authors:
Simon Brett
Constable

Wow I'm A Genieous!!!!

Mike Haskins
Authors:
Mike Haskins

A hilarious collection of the weirdest, stupidest and most outrageous things ever said on the internet on sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Ebay, Amazon, YouTube and even in good old-fashioned emails. Years ago if you said or did something stupid or embarrassing, it would have remained relatively private and have would soon been forgotten. Now thanks to advances in technology every cringe-making remark that we make online is preserved not only for the rest of eternity but is also instantly available for all the world to see! Wow! I'm a Genieous! presents an irresistible collection of ill-thought out comments, opinions, online disputes and sheer unashamed ignorance.So join us as we find the people who put the twit in Twitter and the mess in instant message. Contents include: Stupid Questions and Stupid Answers: e.g. "Does anyone know Obama's last name?" "Are there any lakes in the Lake District?" Angry Outbursts: Furious, insane or wildly over the top comments from You Tube etc Harrods it ain't - buying and selling on the internet: "I won a filthy Powerbook 540 which took about one month to arrive. The seller clearly used rubbish from their bin to pack the box; complete with McDonalds wrappers with old french fries and lettuce!" Observations To Leave You Speechless: "Does it rain in Australia? Because it's the other side of the world doesn't the rain just fall away into space?", "The Olympics has been going three thousand years?! We're only up to 2012!" "I like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur." Reviews from Hell: "The beach was too sandy and there were too many fish in the sea...", "We went on holiday to Spain and had problems with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish" Online Slip Ups: Internet-based disasters e.g. the school headmaster who asked his bursar to reply to a complaint from an old lady by telling her to "get stuffed" but accidentally copied her in on the message Communication Problems: Extraordinary spelling mistakes and terrible grammar e.g. "nothing more fun than wachting sex and city and raping Christmas pressants", "Why is the USA bombin Labia?" People Who Really Don't Deserve Our Money: e.g. An email from a Euromillions winner promising you a share of their win. As if!

Constable

The Digested Twenty-first Century

John Crace
Authors:
John Crace

John Crace's Digested Read first appeared in in February 2000 and has been running ever since. Each week Crace reduces a new book - anything from a Booker Prize winner to a Nigella cookery book is fair game - to 700 words in a parody of the plot, style, dialogue and themes. Or lack of them. The Digested Read has not just become an institution for readers; it is read and enjoyed by publishers and authors too. So long as it is not their book being digested. A few years ago Crace wrote Brideshead Abbreviated, A Digested Read of the 20th Century. This is the 21st Century. So far.

Constable

And Gazza Misses The Final

Rob Smyth, Scott Murray
Authors:
Rob Smyth, Scott Murray
Constable

Accidental Ironman

Martyn Brunt
Authors:
Martyn Brunt

Having spent 10 years scaling the lower echelons of the sport, the time has come for one of Britain's least successful athletes to reveal all about how he got involved in all this nonsense in the first place. Marvel as he reveals: His sporting history - how being last pick at school football in the 1970s set him on course for a lifetime of being rubbish at team games. How he took up triathlons in the first place (for a bet, and the cow who made it with him never paid up). How he overcame a crippling lack of talent and a chorus of complete indifference from his family to complete 10 Ironmans, all outside the top 500 finishers. The many triathlon adventures he has experienced over the past 10 years (cow pats, Ironmans, incontinence, driving bans, broken bones, public nudity, spending entire redundancy payments on a new bike, Belgian portaloos, German knocking shops, sunburnt arse cheeks, channel swimming, fights with chavs, obsessions with weather and the nutritional value of Jaffa Cakes, 3 hour marathons, chronic dehydration and so on). The many and varied idiots he's got to know as a result of taking up the sport (aka his mates). The typical training (hell) he goes through to take part in a race given he has absolutely no ability whatsoever. How triathlons ultimately caused him to sell his Mercedes, give away his expensive suit, chuck in his job in the City and become, as his father put it, a "god-damned hippy" (A cycle path designer who owns a camper van).

Robinson

The Mammoth Book of More Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs

Funny, fearless and absolutely filthy-nearly 3,000 more uncensored, dirty, sick, and deeply politically incorrect jokes, covering just about every topic imaginable, from adultery to (sex in) Zoos, including an assortment of bad taste lists. A worthy, all-new follow-on to the first bestselling volume.

Constable

Superpiss, Meltykiss, Spankers and Muff

Gordon Thorburn
Authors:
Gordon Thorburn

Superpiss used to be a brand of windscreen washer fluid in Finland but they've changed the name for some reason. Bra milk has gone the same way.Luckily, there is still an Italian detergent called BumBum, a Ghanaian pepper sauce called Shitto, Jamaicans can buy Mannish Water Ram Goat Soup, those horrible Danish salt-liquorice pastilles are Spunk brand, the Swedes eat marshmallows called Skum, you can keep your feet dry in China with a Sex Shoes Set and refresh after a jog in Japan with a glass of Sweat.This hilarious book contains hundreds of examples from foreign parts of product names, signs and advertising puffery that make English speakers laugh immoderately, plus a few mistakes that slipped through at home.It's all real. None of it has been invented. In Egypt, you really can buy German Winter Hats for Diabetics.

C & R Crime

Blotto, Twinks and the Bootlegger's Moll

Simon Brett
Authors:
Simon Brett