Related to: 'Dog Treats'

Little, Brown

The Old Man and the Knee

Christopher Matthew
Authors:
Christopher Matthew

Although in his seventies, Christopher Matthew is convinced he is not yet old. No one one has ever stood up for him on a crowded bus or tube. He plays golf and walks the dog. He has all his own teeth, hair, and does not require a hearing aid. He is, in short, enjoying late middle age and is making the best of it while he still can. 'I know it can't last for ever, but while it does, it gives me the chance to look at life in the last lane, as I am now experiencing it, and to consider what might be to come.' Subjects range from what's the point of a grandparent; the perils and pleasures of replacing one's partner with a younger model; and acquiring new interests and hobbies (bridge? ocean cruising? ballet? marathon running?) to the arrival of old age and the last leg of all. How do we know when we are old? Does old age creep up slowly or arrive out of the blue? Will we be able to summon up some half-decent last words and what should they be? Witty, like Oscar Wilde's about the wallpaper, or helpful like the 1st Lord Grimthorpe's 'We are low on marmalade'?

Little, Brown

A Bus Pass Named Desire

Christopher Matthew
Authors:
Christopher Matthew

'It's never too late to have a fling, for autumn is just as nice as spring . . .'Christopher Matthew's latest collection of canny comic verse negotiates the perils and pitfalls of romance in later years. Love is revealed in the most unlikely places, with the most improbable people seeking it. Whether in Dorking, Diss, Clapham Junction or West Wittering, there are amorous opportunities waiting to be seized at the bridge table, on the tennis court, in the herbaceous border, on a bicycle made for two, or simply in warm companionship. Often hilarious and always touching, these delightful and stirring tales of late-flowering love (and even mild debauchery in a retirement home) are a celebration of life for the young at heart.And never again will you take the 49 bus without a sideways glance at the driver.

Little, Brown

The Man Who Dropped the Le Creuset on His Toe and Other Bourgeois Mishaps

Christopher Matthew, Tony Ross
Contributors:
Christopher Matthew, Tony Ross

Al Cimino

Al Cimino is the author of a number of books, including The Manhattan Project, Drug Wars and The Mafia Files.

Andy Simpson

Andy Simpson is Readers' Letters editor at the Daily Mail.

Aubrey Malone

Aubrey Malone has published over 50 anthologies of quotations, including The Cynic's Dictionary. He lives in Dublin.

Bill Hicks

'Bill Hicks performed his first stand-up routine at 14 and died in February 1994 aged 32. He was hilarious, brilliant, brave and right about everything.' Henry Rollins

D.J. Taylor

D. J. Taylor is a writer and critic. His collection of short stories, After Bathing at Baxter's was published in 1997 and he is the author of six novels: Great Eastern Land (1986); Real Life (1992); English Settlement (1996); Trespass (1998), a satire of 1970s England; The Comedy Man (2001), the story of one half of a comedy duo; and Kept: A Victorian Mystery (2006). Several of his books are set in his home city of Norwich.His books of non-fiction include Afer the War: The Novel and England Since 1945 (1993); A Vain Conceit: British fiction in the 1980s (1989), a critical look at the quality of fiction-writing in Britain; and most recently, Bright Young People: The Rise and Fall of a Generation 1918-1940. He is also well-known for his biographies: Thackeray (1999); and Orwell: The Life, published in 2003 to coincide with the centenary of Orwell's birth. This book won the 2003 Whitbread Biography Award.

David Sedaris

With sardonic wit and incisive social critiques, David Sedaris has become one of America's pre-eminent humor writers. The great skill with which he slices through cultural euphemisms and political correctness proves that Sedaris is a master of satire and one of the most observant writers addressing the human condition today. David Sedaris is the author of Barrel Fever and Holidays on Ice, as well as collections of personal essays, Naked, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, When You Are Engulfed in Flames and his most recent book, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls, each of which became an immediate bestseller. The audio version of Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls was a Grammy nominee for Best Spoken Word Album. He is the author of the New York Times-bestselling collection of fables entitled Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Wicked Bestiary (with illustrations by Ian Falconer). He was also the editor of Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules: An Anthology of Outstanding Stories. Sedaris's pieces appear regularly in the New Yorker and have twice been included in 'The Best American Essays'. There are a total of ten million copies of his books in print and they have been translated into twenty-nine languages.

Emlyn Rees

EMLYN REES spent his early twenties traveling around Asia and mixing cocktails in London for the likes of Sylvester Stallone and Princess Anne. He published his first crime novel aged twenty-five, his second a year later, and then co-wrote seven comedies with Josie Lloyd, including the Sunday Times bestseller Come Together. He is the editor of British and American paperback crime fiction imprint, Exhibit A, and lives on and around Brighton beach with Joanna Rees, aka Josie Lloyd.

Geoff Tibballs

Geoff Tibballs is the author of numerous bestselling humour titles.

Iain Banks

Iain Banks came to widespread and controversial public notice with the publication of his first novel, THE WASP FACTORY, in 1984. He gained enormous popular and critical acclaim for both his mainstream and his science fiction novels. Iain Banks died in June 2013.

Jen Campbell

JEN CAMPBELL grew up in the northeast of England, and graduated from Edinburgh University with an MA in English Literature. She is a published poet and short-story writer. She lives in north London where she works at Ripping Yarns bookshop.

Joan Collins

JOAN COLLINS, OBE, has appeared in some sixty films and many television series, including the highly rated TV drama Dynasty. Her books have sold over 50 million copies in 30 languages. A devoted humanitarian, she lends her support and celebrity to causes that include finding a cure for breast cancer.

John Crace

JOHN CRACE is a staff feature writer for the Guardian, where he is best known for the literary pastiche 'Digested Read'. He has also written several books, including Vertigo: One Football Fan's Fear of Success. A committed Spurs supporter, he lives in south-west London but travels to N17 for every home game.

John Waters

John Waters is an American filmmaker, actor, writer and visual artist best known for his cult films, including Hairspray, Pink Flamingos and Cecil B. DeMented. He is also the author of a memoir, Role Models. He lives in Baltimore, Maryland.

Juarez Rodrigues

JUAREZ RODRIGUES is an award-winning art director in the advertising industry, one half of a media- and design-savvy couple with VICKY JACOB-EBBINGHAUS, an award-winning copywriter from Johannesburg, South Africa. They live and work in Hamburg, Germany.

Karl Shaw

Karl Shaw has worked as a journalist, in advertising and in marketing. His books include New York Times bestsellers Royal Babylon: The Alarming History of European Royalty and 5 People Who Died During Sex: and 100 Other Terribly Tasteless Lists.

Ken MacLeod

Ken MacLeod graduated with a BSc from Glasgow University in 1976. Following research at Brunel University, he worked in a variety of manual and clerical jobs whilst completing an MPhil thesis. He previously worked as a computer analyst/programmer in Edinburgh, but is now a full-time writer. He is the author of twelve previous novels, five of which have been nominated for the Arthur C. Clarke Award, and two which have won the BSFA Award. Ken MacLeod is married with two grown-up children and lives in West Lothian.

Liz Strachan

Liz Strachan taught mathematics for 36 years in her home town of Montrose, Scotland. She has had over a hundred articles and short stories published and won a scholarship from the Scottish Association of Writers in 2008.