By The Harvard Lampoon
When you like, live forever, what's there to live for?'About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him - which I assumed was wildly out of his control - that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.'And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in this hilarious send-up of Twilight. Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events - Edwart leaves his hash browns untouched at lunch! - he saves her from a flying snowball and Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive?Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behaviour, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the hysterical tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.
By Running Press
Nuns have had a great run. Ever since Sister Act established they could be cool and fun as well as severe and scary, the habits have been flying into stores and off the shelves. As a great addition to the new trend, this deliciously fun bowling set presents ten praying nun pins, one Satanic fireball, and 32-page introduction to the nun bowling sport. Many adults still have nun-phobia left over from their childhoods. This kit offers a healing experience that, at this price, is the cheapest therapy you can get.