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  • Heartburn

    By Nora Ephron
    Authors:
    Nora Ephron
    'I have bought more copies of this book to give to people, in a frenzy of enthusiasm, than any other . . . Heartburn is the perfect, bittersweet, sobbingly funny, all-too-true confessional novel' Nigella Lawson Seven months into her pregnancy, Rachel discovers that her husband is in love with another woman. The fact that this woman has a 'neck as long as an arm and a nose as long as a thumb' is no consolation. Food sometimes is, though, since Rachel is a cookery writer, and between trying to win Mark back and wishing him dead, she offers us some of her favourite recipes. Heartburn is a roller coaster of love, betrayal, loss and - most satisfyingly - revenge.This is Nora Ephron's (screenwriter of When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle) roman a clef: 'I always thought during the pain of the marriage that one day it would make a funny book,' she once said - And it is!Books included in the VMC 40th anniversary series include: Frost in May by Antonia White; The Collected Stories of Grace Paley; Fire from Heaven by Mary Renault; The Magic Toyshop by Angela Carter; The Weather in the Streets by Rosamond Lehmann; Deep Water by Patricia Highsmith; The Return of the Soldier by Rebecca West; Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston; Heartburn by Nora Ephron; The Dud Avocado by Elaine Dundy; Memento Mori by Muriel Spark; A View of the Harbour by Elizabeth Taylor; and Faces in the Water by Janet Frame
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    Her Majesty the Queen, as Seen by MAC

    By Mark Bryant, Stanley McMurtry
    Authors:
    Mark Bryant
    Illustrated by:
    Stanley McMurtry
    Since the early 1970s, Stan McMurtry - better known as MAC - has been the editorial cartoonist of the Daily Mail. Now, forty-five years after his first cartoon for the newspaper, and in the year of Her Majesty the Queen's 90th birthday, MAC has compiled this wonderful selection of more than 120 of his very best Daily Mail cartoons featuring Her Majesty, from the 1970s until the present day. MAC's unerring ability to hit the target and capture the essence of human foibles has made him Britain's leading editorial cartoonist.
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    How to Talk Teen

    By Mark Leigh
    Authors:
    Mark Leigh
    THE PERFECT GIFT FOR MOTHER'S DAY, 26 MARCH!What's ILL in one place can be WACK in another, or the same word can actually have TOTES different meanings. It's CRAY CRAY! From KEWL girls hitting on HENCH boys to wannabe gangstas hangin' with their DOGGS in the ENDZ, teen slang can leave NOOBS CONFUZZLED. If you want to appear DOPE or just want to know WTF is going on, How to Talk Teen is the ultimate guide!Bugly : Short for butt ugly; exceeded on the ugly ranking by dugly and fugly. Pfun: More than mere fun. This is pure fun. Rando: A random person who appears at parties but who no one seems to know, let alone invited.Hiberdating: Disappearing from view because you're spending almost all your time with your new boyfriend/girlfriend.Nodel: Someone who thinks they look like a model . . . but nobody else does.Rentsy: Acting like parents, i.e. acting responsibly or demonstrating a nauseating taste in music. Mis-wave: To wave back at someone you think is waving at you, but who was actually waving to someone else.Ugly radius: The distance from you that someone stops looking attractive.Hot mess: Someone attractive who looks cool and in control, but who's an emotional train wreck. Lipsin: Kissing energetically - but less aggressively than a full-on snog.Selfie claw: Your contorted hand as you simultaneously hold your phone and take the photo.Air Five: High-five greeting to someone from across a room.Endz: The street where you live or the immediate neighbourhood. Pit stick: Underarm antiperspirant/deodorant.Top bantz: Particularly insightful or mocking banter. Hashtag Douchebag: A moron who uses hashtags excessively in anything they type in an attempt to be witty
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    Horrorscopes: An Astrological Almanac

    By Jonathan O'Brien
    Authors:
    Jonathan O'Brien
    Good luck in the year ahead. You're all going to need it.Horrorscopes* will tell you everything you need to know about what will happen to you in the year ahead, and we can reveal now, it's not all good news. In fact, none of it is. The moral? Blame it on the planets - let's face it, Saturn's a bastard.This hilarious, tongue-in-cheek and detailed weekly guide to next year is interspersed with celebrity readings - find out what will be the hardest challenge David Cameron will face next year (hint: it involves Game of Thrones) and what embarrassing social faux pas will befall Harry Styles - and is packed full of other fun extras, including when to play and not play Monopoly (not June) and those all-important lottery numbers.There's something for member of all signs of the Zodiac and beyond in this rude, witty and bang-up-to-date handbook which is a must-read if you want to know what will happen to you in the year ahead (just don't set your expectations too high).*Disclaimer: Despite astrology being a 100% accurate science, we cannot be held responsible for any personal action or decisions made using our advice as a guide.
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    The Heyday Of The Football Annual

    By Ian Preece
    Authors:
    Ian Preece
    The Independent's Best Sports Book of the Year, 2015Christmas Day 1959 and legions of schoolboys up and down the country feverishly unwrapped the very first Topical Times Football Book. On the cover Bobby Charlton smacked a leather ball out of a pillar-box red background and, although this wasn't the first yearbook, it heralded the golden age of the Christmas football annual. As the sixties progressed, the shelves in Woolworth's and the local newsagent began to bulge with titles reflecting the expanding, exciting world of football - Charles Buchan's Soccer Gift Book nestled next to the International Football Book and the Midlands Soccer Annual.These annuals were educational and insightful, taking the reader into the changing rooms, the supporters' club lounges, and the manager's mind ahead of a tough season. Beautifully illustrated, they helped shape the football consciousness of a generation.In The Heyday of The Football Annual Ian Preece and Doug Cheeseman bottle the essence of these publications. They travel back in time to a world where Forfar Athletic and Doncaster Rovers had equal billing with Manchester United and Arsenal, where debate raged over the use of goal average, and Huddersfield v Carlisle was the main game on Match of the Day.Along the way, leading football writers Richard Williams, Jonathan Wilson, Patrick Collins and Derek Hammond, among others, share their memories - not only of 'soccer' annuals but of an era when the unveiling of Dundee's new stand was deemed worthy of a two-page spread, and Scunthorpe's pre-season tour to Ibiza merited a lengthy feature. This was a world where footballers grew chrysanthemums for a hobby, drank tea down the local café to pass the time, and Coventry City were the go-ahead club of the future. For better, and (certainly) for worse, it's a world long gone.
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    How to Teach your Dog to Drive

    By Mike Haskins
    Authors:
    Mike Haskins
    Is your eyesight failing, are you not very good at driving yourself or are you simply blind drunk? These are just a few of the reasons why it would make perfect sense to teach your dog to be your new chauffeur. Here, for the first time, is a complete guide: how to get your dog acquainted with the controls, which breeds are the safest drivers, frequently asked questions; and how to get your dog successfully through their tests.Never again need you wait for a taxi, or make that long motorway drive unassisted. If you are a dog owner and a car owner, then How to Teach Your Dog to Drive will be the most useful book you buy this year, or even this decade . . .
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    Hands On

    By Susan Anderson
    Authors:
    Susan Anderson
    Hands On is the Complete Package This titillating tome and handy reference book is perfectly suited for anyone who needs a little extra help around the house. Told from the perspective of a group of hunky handymen, the book includes 10 home improvement projects with step-by-step instructions, dozens of photos, and plenty of eye-candy between the covers. Projects include: A well-hung mirror, Fixing a squeaky bed, Caring for hard wood, Penetrating pipes, And more!

    Haggard Hawks and Paltry Poltroons

    By Paul Anthony Jones
    Authors:
    Paul Anthony Jones
    What do the following ten words all have in common - haggard, mews, codger, arouse, musket, poltroon, gorge, allure, pounce and turn-tail? All fairly familiar and straightforward words, after a little digging into their histories it turns out that all of them derive from falconry: the adjective haggard described an adult falcon captured from the wild; mews were the enclosures hawks were kept in whilst moulting; codger is thought to come from 'cadger', the member of a hunting party who carried the birds' perches, and so on.This, essentially, is what Ten Words is all about - the book collects together hundreds of the most intriguing, surprising and little known histories and etymologies of a whole host of English words. From ancient place names to unusual languages, and obscure professions to military slang, this is a fascinating treasure trove of linguistic facts.

    Help, I'm Trapped in the Duvet!

    By Howard Lester
    Authors:
    Howard Lester
    Most people understand that what an emergency is and only call out the police, fire brigade or ambulance when they really need to. However, there is a weird minority who will dial 911 if they lose their keys, if their phone isn't working, if they need a lift home from a party or even if they have become hopelessly trapped in their own duvet!This hilarious collection of true stories brings together some of the world's most ridiculous emergency calls, including:- The woman who called the police because MacDonalds was out of Chicken Mcnuggets.- The priest who dialed 999 because WHSmiths at Manchester Airporte wouldn't let him use their toilet- The boy who called an ambulance because his poodle was looking sad.- The man whose watch read the same time for three hours who called the police to report that...wait for it...time was standing still- Then there was the man who had taken too much viagra...
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    How To Drive A Tank

    By Frank Coles
    Authors:
    Frank Coles
    Call yourself a man? You do? Do you even know what a real man is? Are you a six foot one Adonis who wears all the latest fashions, moisturises regularly, visits spas for pleasure and never does anything wrong? Or do you drink twenty pints every Friday night, guzzle a kebab on the way home and then fart yourself to sleep?It's time to stop being the man everyone expects you to be and be the one you want to be. And while you're at it, why not discover the practical skills a real man should have: from hot-wiring a car to hiding a dead body, how to disappear without trace in less than 24 hours, to unarmed combat. Add in tips on love, sex, money and fatherhood and you have a book tells you everything you need to know about being a man. Fast-paced and funny this is the ultimate bible for the modern man.

    Hit by a Farm

    By Catherine Friend
    Authors:
    Catherine Friend
    Farms have fences. People have boundaries. Mine began crumbling the day I knelt behind a male sheep, reached between his legs, and squeezed his testicles. This took place one blustery November day when I joined other shepherd-wannabees for a class on the basics of raising sheep. I was there with my partner Melissa, the woman I'd lived with for twelve years, because we were going to start a farm . When self-confessed "urban bookworm" Catherine Friend's partner of twelve years decides she wants to fulfill her lifelong dream of owning a farm, Catherine agrees. What ensues is a crash course in both living off and with the land that ultimately allows Catherine to help fulfill Melissa's dreams while not losing sight of her own. Hit by a Farm is a hilarious recounting of Catherine and Melissa's trials of "getting back to the land." It is also a coming-of (middle)-age story of a woman trying to cross the divide between who she is and who she wants to be, and the story of a couple who say "goodbye city life" , and learn more than they ever bargained for about love, land, and yes, sheep sex.
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