Crocs in the Cabinet
By Ben Smee, Chistopher A Walsh
In the Northern Territory, politics isn't a numbers game, it's a blood sport.The recent goings-on in Top End politics make the Rudd, Gillard, Abbott and Turnbull skirmishes in Canberra look positively civil and Bronwyn Bishop's travel expenses like small change. Not since the night Malcolm Fraser lost his trousers has the Australian political scene provided such entertainment. Laying bare the backstabbing, scandals, power struggles and flawed characters that took the Country Liberal Party from the Northern Territory's dominant political force to near extinction in four short years, CROCS IN THE CABINET may read like a satire, but it is all true. You have to read it to believe it. Find out exactly how bonkers the NT parliament really was, as you read of ...- a drunk Territory minister, a seedy Tokyo 'cabaret' club, a $5000 bar tab and taxpayer-funded credit card. Priceless!- the lewd videos a masturbating minister sent someone, not his wife- the anguished words 'WE ARE IN LOVE!' echoing from the floor of parliament- a Chief Minister defying a coup by throwing his phone in a pool- the 'gone fishing' MP who chose baiting up instead of turning up- the minister, charged with assault, who sold her 'MY HUSBAND IS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MY NIECE' story to TAKE 5 magazine.Two of the NT NEWS's best journalists, Walkley Award-winning Ben Smee and award-winning Christopher A Walsh, show that the NT NEWS is not just crocodiles and quirky front pages - its hard-hitting investigativejournalists also deliver a memorable bite.This is FEAR AND LOATHING ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL meets FAWLTY TOWERS.
The Curious History of Dating
By Nichi Hodgson
AN EMPHATICALLY FEMINIST HISTORY OF DATING'A new approach to romance... The heroines of Regency novels could teach today's young women a trick or two' Sunday TimesWhat if Mr Darcy had simply been able to swipe right?'This book was a real education for me. It's like a Lonely Planet guidebook to dating.'Gilo'Lessons to learn for committed singletons and happily married alike, and everyone in between.'Anon'I loved it.'Adele Taylor'I found it hard to put down.'richie666Dating has never been easy. The road to true love has always been rutted with heartbreak, but do we have it any easier today? How did Victorians 'come out'? How did love blossom in war-torn Europe? And why did 80s video-dating never take off?Bursting with little-known facts and tantalizing tales of lovelorn men and besotted women, Nichi Hodgson's intriguing history of amorous relationships, from enamoured Georgians to frenziedly swiping millennials (and everyone in between) may leave you grateful that you live - and love - today.
By Geoff Tibballs
The worst cookbook ever, packed with truly bizarre and utterly disgusting recipes from all over the worldEver since humankind produced its first foodie, the culinary world has dished up some staggering confections which could best be described as 'acquired tastes': dishes such as Virgin Boy Eggs (eggs soaked in the urine of prepubescent boys); live octopus, which clutches at the diner's tongue and throat as it is swallowed; and Beard Beer, made from the yeast found in facial hair.In northern Greenland, the Inuit are fond of cramming as many as 500 dead auks (small sea birds) into an old seal skin which they place under a large rock until the birds have fermented into what has rightly been described as a 'sticky, pungent, toxic, cheesy gloop'. Kiviak, as it is called, is eaten by biting off the birds' heads and sucking out the juices. The mighty Roman Empire was built on such delicacies as larks' tongues, stuffed thrush, boiled flamingo and grilled cow's womb, while the Tudors loved nothing more than a roast cockenthrice: the head and upper body of a pig carefully stitched onto the lower body and legs of a turkey.Today, for those with an adventurous mindset and a robust life insurance policy, there is no shortage of nauseating local delicacies to enjoy. In China, not only is tuna eyeball on the menu, but also yak penis (served whole). In Vietnam, one can enjoy the still-beating heart of a freshly-killed snake; in Iceland, raw puffin heart. In the Philippines, there is duck embryo to be had - like a Kinder Surprise . . . only containing a dead foetus instead of a toy. In Sardinia, they like nothing more than a nice bit of maggot-infested cheese; and the favourite tipple of Korean foodies is Ttongsul, a wine made from the fermented faeces of a child.Bon appetit!
By John Waters
John Waters is putting his life on the line. Armed with wit, a pencil-thin moustache, and a cardboard sign that reads 'I'm Not Psycho', he hitchhikes across America from Baltimore to San Francisco, braving lonely roads and treacherous drivers. But who should we be more worried about, the delicate film director with genteel manners or the unsuspecting travelers transporting the Pope of Trash?Along the way, Waters fantasizes about the best and worst possible scenarios: a friendly drug dealer hands over piles of cash to finance films with no questions asked, a demolition-derby driver makes a filthy sexual request in the middle of a race, a gun-toting drunk terrorizes and holds him hostage, and a Kansas vice squad entraps and throws him in jail. So what really happens when this cult legend sticks out his thumb and faces the open road? Laced with subversive humour and warm intelligence, Carsick is an unforgettable ride with a wickedly funny companion - and a celebration of America's weird, astonishing, and generous citizens.
Cheech & Chong's Almost Legal Book for Stoners
By Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong
Cheech & Chong ,the legendary, award-winning comic duo,are back with a miscellany on living the stoner lifestyle. In this hilarious and instructive book, the pair take you through the do's and don'ts of a world they helped bring to the mainstream.Including:the basics of pot culturestoner etiquette (how not to Bogey a joint and how to crash a doobie session)awesome games and recipeseven Pot Haiku! Cheech & Chong's Almost Legal Book for Stoners offers something for everyone . . . and anyone interested in living the high life!
By Running Press
Contrary to what you're thinking, this kit includes exactly what it says: chicks, that are magnets! Kit contains a half a dozen magnetic pom-pom chicks that are so precious you will want to stick them on any magnetic surface to add some "ridiculously cute" to your home or workplace. Also included is a sweet and amusing mini book, Stuff Chicks Like , fully illustrated throughout. This adorable kit is sure to be an irresistible impulse item at Easter time or anytime!
Crazy Sh*t Presidents Said
By Robert Schnakenberg
With the country more polarized than ever, the 2012 presidential election is expected to be one of the most heated in our country's history. Among all the polished speeches and great sound bites, sometimes in that torrent of official and unofficial remarks, some real head-scratchers slip out. Crazy Sh*t Presidents Said consists of 1,000 crazy, surprising, eye-popping, historically verified quotations, arranged thematically by subject. "I don't know much about Americanism, but it's a damn good word with which to carry an election." -W. G. Harding "I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming." -Jimmy Carter "I always figured the American public wanted a solemn ass for president, so I went along with them." -C. Coolidge "If I don't have a woman for three days, I get terrible headaches."-John F. Kennedy
By Joelle Herr
Celebrate the bicentennial birthday of Charles Dickens with this Miniature Edition packed with witty summaries of the novels of one of history's most beloved storytellers. All fans of great literature can enjoy these perfectly portable renditions of Oliver Twist, A Christmas Carol, Great Expectations, A Tale of Two Cities , and all the Dickensian classics. Featuring synopses, character profiles, and illustrations, this mini book brings to life twenty classic tales and the iconic characters that populate the world of Dickens.
A Christmas Story Leg Lamp Kit
By Running Press
It's a major award!", Old Man" Parker from the holiday classic A Christmas Story , would say. We call this kit the perfect stocking stuffer (no pun intended) for the millions of fans who tune in for repeated annual viewings of the movie during the holidays. Kit comes with a replica of the movie's iconic Leg Lamp prop complete with an actual light-up feature, packaging material to protect the fragile" ornament, and a colourful sticker book. T & © 2011 WARNER BROS. ENTERTAINMENT INC.
Crazy Sh*t Old People Say
By Geoff Tibballs
With old age comes grey hair, dodgy knees, a sudden passion for re-runs of Murder, She Wrote, and an apparent God-given licence to speak one's mind and be generally offensive without fear of retribution. Under the guise of passing on the benefits of their experience to family members or just casual acquaintances, old people exercise their right to swear, cuss and insult as they please. These feisty philosophers take no prisoners as they use their scalpel-like tongues to dissect modern life and the younger generations. If challenged over their outrageous comments, they'll play the age card: you know the sort of thing - 'I'm eighty-six, I've fought for my country, and if I want to call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, then I'll call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, Vicar.'Other gems include:It bugs me when people say, 'Life is short.' What the hell does it mean? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! Are they going to do something that's longer? Son, if it's got tits or tyres, you're gonna have trouble with it. We all have our disappointments in life, son, and I'm talking to mine right now.The only way in which life resembles a bed of roses is that you encounter a lot of pricks along the way. Sure I'm surprised you can't get a job, son. I heard the world was crying out for someone who is lazy, has no qualifications but can spit gum into a waste paper basket from ten feet.Don't you think you might stand a better chance of becoming a captain of industry if you got rid of some of that metal shit on your body - like the nose stud and the eyebrow rings? Donald Trump may have a crap haircut but I bet he doesn't have pierced fucking nipples.Son, if life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.The secret of a happy life is to run out of cash and air at exactly the same time.
The Complete Cartoons Of The New Yorker
By Adam Gopnik, David Remnick, Robert Mankoff
The book that Janet Maslin of The New York Times has called 'indispensable' and 'a transfixing study of American mores and manners that happens to incorporate boundless laughs, too' is finally available in paperback-fully updated and featuring a brand new introduction by Adam Gopnik. Organized by decade, with commentary by some of the magazine's finest writers, this landmark collection showcases the work of the hundreds of talented artists who have contributed cartoons over the course ofThe New Yorker's eight-two-year history. From the early cartoons of Peter Arno, George Price and Charles Addams to the cutting-edge work of Alex Gregory, Matthew Diffee and Bruce Eric Kaplan (with stops along the way for the genius of Charles Barsotti, Roz Chast, Jack Ziegler, George Booth, and many others), the art collected here forms, as David Remnick puts it in his Foreword, 'the longest-running popular comic genre in American life.' Throughout the book, brief overviews of each era's predominant themes-from the Depression and nudity to technology and the Internet, highlight various genres of cartoons and shed light on our pastimes and preoccupations. Brief profiles and mini-portfolios spotlight the work of key cartoonists, including Arno, Chast, Ziegler, and others. The DVD-ROM included with the book is what really makes the 'Complete Cartoons' complete. Compatible with most home computers and easily browsable, the disk contains a mind-boggling 70,363 cartoons, indexed in a variety of ways. Perhaps you'd like to find all the cartoons by your favorite artist. Or maybe you'd like to look up the cartoons that ran the week you were born, or all of the cartoons on a particular subject. Of course, you can always begin at the beginning, February 21, 1925, and experience the unprecedented pleasure of reading through every single cartoon ever published in The New Yorker. Enjoy this one-of-a-kind protrait of American life over the past eight decades, as captured by the talented pens and singular outlooks of the masters of the cartoonist's art.
Cancel Your Own Goddam Subscription
By William F. Buckley Jr.
National Review has always published letters from readers. In 1965 the magazine decided that certain letters merited different treatment, and William F. Buckley, the editor, began a column called Notes & Asides" in which he personally replied to the most notable and outrageous correspondence. Culled from four decades of the column, Cancel Your Own Goddam Subscription includes exchanges with such well-known figures as Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon, John Kenneth Galbraith, A.M. Rosenthal, Auberon Waugh, Arthur Schlesinger Jr., and many others. There are also hilarious exchanges with ordinary readers, as well as letters from Buckley to various organizations and government agencies. Combative, brilliant, and uproariously funny, Cancel Your Own Goddam Subscription represents Buckley at his mischievous best.
Copper: A Dog's Life
By Annabel Goldsmith
A loveable local legend and true character to all who knew him, Copper was no ordinary dog. With more stories to tell than you could count on the pads of one paw, this curly-tailed, shaggy-bearded mongrel (but don't let him hear you call him that) led a truly astonishing life. Famed for his remarkable wanderlust, canine curiosity took him all over the place, from Richmond and Kingston to Brighton, sometimes travelling on buses with his friend Jessie the cat, often stopping off at his favourite pubs, or chasing unsuspecting joggers in the park - a hobby which nearly ended his life.In this delightful book, Copper tells us of his astounding adventures with the finest of tail-wagging wisdom. He sniffs out all the important things in life: the comings and goings, the loves and losses - and, of course, what it's like to live in high society.Sometimes cheeky, most of the time charming, but always cherished, Copper's story is by turns funny and moving, the tale of a real canine hero.
By Jillian Panarese, Sarah Royal
Whether you're annoyed with your neighbour, agitated with your boss, or tired of your lazy roommate, this unique side-by-side flippable flap novelty book of amusing and socially unacceptable phrases will provide endless possibilities for creative and colourful vocabulary. Both young and old students and professionals alike will appreciate this easy-to-use, uncensored, totally x-rated, and hilarious phrase generator. Unleash the immaturity and skewed sense of humour within and never be left searching for a clever comeback again.
By Blue Q
Just watch your cat lovers connect with this charming, magnetic mini kit! Five popular breeds immortalized on die-cut magnets with a bonus hairball piece, too! The Educational North American Cat Butts Field Guide rounds out this epic gift opportunity from the Blue Q gang.
Calvin And Hobbes Volume 3: In the Shadow of the Night
By Bill Watterson, Bill Watterson
The third volume in a series of comic cartoons starring the Calvin and Hobbes pair.Calvin, cheeky, hyperactive and mischievous, and Hobbes, his cuddly toy tiger who, as far as Calvin is concerned is very much alive and kicking, are two of the most loveable and hilarious characters to grace the comic strip in years. Sit back and enjoy . . .
Calvin And Hobbes Volume 1 `A'
By Bill Watterson, Bill Watterson
Calvin, cheeky, hyperactive and mischievous, and Hobbes, his cuddly toy tiger who, as far as Calvin is concerned is very much alive and kicking, are two of the most loveable and hilarious characters to grace the comic strip in years. Sit back and enjoy...
Calvin And Hobbes Volume 2: One Day the Wind Will Change
By Bill Watterson, Bill Watterson
The second volume in a series of comic cartoons starring the Calvin and Hobbes pair.Calvin, cheeky, hyperactive and mischievous, and Hobbes, his cuddly toy tiger who, as far as Calvin is concerned is very much alive and kicking, are two of the most loveable and hilarious characters to grace the comic strip in years. Sit back and enjoy . . .