Uganda Be Kidding Me
By Chelsea Handler
I awoke at 4:45 am in Johannesburg, South Africa, in my bra and underwear and looked over at my lesbian friend Shelly, who was fully clothed in a pair of pyjamas. Adult pyjamas in general are hard to take seriously; they're even harder to respect when they're worn by a forty-five-year-old woman and the pyjamas have pick-up trucks silk-screened all over them. There were six of us being picked up at 9:15 to be flown into the 'bush,' which happened to be the first leg of our safari. The six included my cousin Molly, age twenty-six. She is the younger, white version of Tyler Perry's Madea. Large and in charge. Molly loved animals and wanted to become a zoologist before her parents convinced her to aim lower and work on a reality show. Her birth name is Ulrike because we hail from Nazis, but in an effort to live a peaceful life alongside our Jewish brethren, she chose her middle name-Molly-to use personally and semi-professionally.Accompanying us was my newly divorced sister Simone (I encouraged it). She refers to me often as a relationship-wrecker. Also on the trip was my oldest friend in L.A., Hannah. (She has had different names in all my books, and I simply don't have the energy to reread any of them to find out what the names were.) She too was newly broken up and seemed extremely upbeat about it. The other safari goer was Sue Murphy, who is a co-executive producer on my TV show, Chelsea Lately. Sue would best be described as a female Hunter S. Thompson but with her shit slightly more together. She is the type of person who, finding herself with a bottle of vodka and no glass, will gladly empty the vodka into her bowl of cereal and then proceed to inhale it with a spoon. We refer to her as 'sixty, single, and looking.' She is not even close to sixty, but it makes people go up to her and whisper that she looks great for her age.
The Ultimate Book of Insults
By Geoff Tibballs
A brilliant collection of insults and sharp retorts for every situation. Includes studied insults, wry putdowns, literary, political, and dramatic rebukes, playground insults, barbs and jibes. The perfect resource for responding to life's slings and arrows with humour and satisfying venom.
Uncle John's Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader
By Bathroom Reader's Institute
The Uncle John's Bathroom Reader® series is the longest-running, most popular series of its kind, with more than 10 million copies in print. The Uncle John's brand is the most recognized and trusted source for bathroom reading material in the world with more than 22 editions. Uncle John's Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader®: The Miniature EditionT is the fourth installment of our best-selling mini Bathroom Readers, packed with fun facts, amusing stories, and fascinating trivia- all in a condensed portable form for a satisfying reading experience.
By Thomas J. Craughwell
Combining Black Dog's three very successful hardcover collections of "urban legends" (Alligators in the Sewer, The Baby on the Car Roof, and The Cat in the Dryer) into one stupendous volume, Urban Legends is the ultimate collection of those outlandish tales people love to share. With themes that run the gamut from funny to sick, risqué to informative, frightening to disgusting, these fantastic yarns are remarkable for their uncanny ability to travel by word of mouth. We've all heard the one about the alligators that roam New York City's sewers, or how "Mikey" of Life Cereal fame died from ingesting Pop Rocks and Coke, or about the flustered parents who left their baby on the car roof. But, did you hear the one about the scuba diver who was found in the middle of a forest after a fire? These and other favorites are here in all of their creepy glory-guaranteed to amuse, enlighten, intrigue, and most of all, stick in the mind forever.
Uncle John's Ahh-Inspiring Bathroom Reader
By Bathroom Reader's Institu
The Uncle John's Bathroom Reader ® series is the longest-running, most popular series of its kind, with more than 22 editions in print and over 4 million sold. This is our third installation of our miniature Readers, another engaging anthology packed with fun facts, amusing stories, and enough trivia to fuel a television game show, all in a condensed, portable form. With toilet paper roll charm attached.
Uncle John's Absolutely Absorbing Bathroom Reader
By Bathroom Reader's Institute
This perfectly portable bathroom companion features highlights from the perennially popular collection of humorous stories, interesting facts, jokes, and trivia about film, literature, music, entertainment, education, and life in contemporary America.