Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder
By Jerold J Kreisman, Randi Kreger
In this compassionate guide, Jerold Kriesman-author of I Hate You, Don't Leave Me-offers a powerful set of tools to help you express yourself, set boundaries, and cultivate healthy communication with a loved one who is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD).If you have a loved one with BPD, you need real, proven-effective strategies to help you navigate the intense emotions and conflict that can arise in daily interactions and conversations. People with BPD often feel anger, pain, and hurt from a history of invalidation and disappointment, and their difficulty in regulating emotions can lead to moments of lashing out that can confuse and upset those around them.Written by a psychiatrist with more than 40 years of experience in treating BPD, I Hate You, Tell Me You Love Me offers a breakthrough, compassionate approach to communicating with a loved one who has BPD. The SET (support, empathy, truth) method outlined in this book is a powerful and simple tool that will allow you to honestly address your loved one's demands, assertions, and feelings while still maintaining appropriate boundaries. Each step builds on the last, helping you build up a consistent and reliable communication process.In this book, you'll find a review of BPD and the common communication problems inherent in the disorder. You'll learn how SET can address these issues. And finally, you'll find detailed examples of specific scenarios that can arise when talking to a loved one with BPD.Remember-validation isn't the same as agreement. You can help your loved one feel validated while still maintaining your own boundaries. This essential guide will show you how.
This Extraordinary Moment
By John Astin, Adyashanti
"An extraordinary book that weaves together years of scholarly investigation and contemplative practice to help us understand the nature of reality. ... This book has the power to transform lives."-Shauna Shapiro, author of The Art and Science of MindfulnessAnyone who attempts to describe what is ultimately indescribable faces the same challenge-how does one use words to explain something that transcends language? Many writers fall into the trap of using more words to do the job that most words aren't even particularly suited for, the ideas growing ever more allusive and abstract as the verbiage piles up. But in trying to unmoor the essence of lived experience from the concepts and stories we use to construct it, author and spiritual teacher John Astin takes a different approach-using fewer words instead of more, and grounding them with exercises designed to evoke the actual experience of what he's describing.Evoking the true nature of experience in words is a tricky proposition: perceptual reality has no beginning and no end, making it impossible to delineate, and what arises internally as thoughts and feelings are equally limitless, indeterminate, and unresolvable. While we have countless ways to categorize, conceptualize, and label things, the truth of whatever is being felt, seen, tasted, touched, or heard is infinitely more complex and multidimensional than our conceptual or linguistic structures would have us believe. By becoming more intimate with experience itself-rather than trying to narrate, avoid, or escape it-we can begin to discover that our experiences cannot possibly limit us in the ways we've imagined, owing to their radically open-ended and ultimately indefinable nature.It's Not What You Think It Is invites you on a journey of boundless inquiry, which becomes a liberating free-fall into the mysteries that lie just beyond our understanding of lived reality-which words can never quite describe. Built entirely around personal experience and exploration, this book provides activities, dialogues, exercises, and meditations to help you unlearn the basic misapprehensions about the nature of moment-to-moment experience, and shows you how to gain distance from the stories you tell about what you're experiencing, so as to better focus on what's actually happening in the present moment.With ultrashort chapters grounded in experiential practices, and without the use of the usual spiritual jargon, this fast-moving, highly readable book makes the esoteric accessible to all-from anyone interested in stress management, well-being, or positive psychology to the devoted spiritual seeker.
By Elizabeth Stokoe
We spend much of our days talking. Yet we know little about the conversational engine that drives our everyday lives. We are pushed and pulled around by language far more than we realize, yet are seduced by stereotypes and myths about communication.This book will change the way you think about talk. It will explain the big pay-offs to understanding conversation scientifically. Elizabeth Stokoe, a social psychologist, has spent over twenty years collecting and analysing real conversations across settings as varied as first dates, crisis negotiation, sales encounters and medical communication. This book describes some of the findings of her own research, and that of other conversation analysts around the world. Through numerous examples from real interactions between friends, partners, colleagues, police officers, mediators, doctors and many others, you will learn that some of what you think you know about talk is wrong. But you will also uncover fresh insights about how to have better conversations - using the evidence from fifty years of research about the science of talk.
Talk Yourself Better
By Ariane Sherine
'Brilliant - makes a baffling world comprehensible' - Jeremy Vine'What an excellent, long-overdue idea! A super-accessible guide through the bewildering marketplace of modern therapy to ease our noble search for help' - Derren BrownSo you've decided you want to try therapy. But which type of therapy is best for you? Do you know your CBT from your DBT, your cognitive analytic therapy from your psychoanalysis? Talk Yourself Better cuts through the confusion when it comes to choosing a therapist. Exploring all the different kinds of therapy available, Ariane Sherine offers an entertaining insight into each type, including interviews with celebrities, writers and therapists themselves to help make taking that first step a whole lot easier.· Funny and clear Q&A sections guide you through the differences between therapies· Real life stories give an honest account of the pros and cons of each form of therapy· Therapist interviews give an insight into why a counsellor would champion their chosen form of practice· Features contributions from household names such as Stephen Fry, Charlie Brooker, Dolly Alderton and David Baddiel.This is an essential overview of the bewildering range of options available to you when you want to solve a psychological or emotional problem. Friendly and accessible, Talk Yourself Better stresses the importance of talk therapy in improving your mental health.
Ten Minutes to Happiness
By Sandi Mann
Ten Minutes to Happiness is a therapeutic self-help programme based on a six-step formula designed to lift your mood and improve your mental health. Dr Mann's six steps are underpinned by psychological principles and have been tried and tested amongst many of her clients at The MindTraining Clinic in Manchester.By spending just 10 minutes completing your happiness journal each day, you will build up a record of your experiences in six simple areas:- Pleasure: Things that were enjoyed that day- Positive Strokes: Praise or feedback received during the day- Lucky Me: Good fortune you encountered that day- Achievements: Reasons to say 'well done me', however small- Gratitude: Blessings to be counted- Random Acts of Kindness: Kind acts you have performed that dayThe more you use this journal, the more your mood will benefit and the happier you will be, by appreciating the positive aspects of your life, rather than dwelling on the negative.
Tell Me What You Want
By Justin J. Lehmiller
'Reading [Tell Me What You Want] may be the best thing you ever do for your sex life, your relationships and your self-acceptance' - Geoffrey Miller, author of The Mating Mind, Spent, and MateWhat do we really want when it comes to sex? How can we break the barriers that prevent us from communicating about our desires? Justin J. Lehmiller, a leading expert on human sexuality and author of the popular blog Sex and Psychology, has made it his career's ambition to answer these questions. Based on his monumental two-year study of sexual fantasies involving more than 4,000 people from all walks of life, Tell Me What You Want offers an unprecedented look into our fantasy worlds and what they reveal about us. It will help you to understand your own sexual desires and how to attain them within your relationships, but also to appreciate why your partner may have sexual proclivities that are so different from your own. Appreciating the incredible diversity of human sexual desire and why this diversity exists in the first place can help you to overcome distress, anxiety and shame about your own sexual fantasies; ultimately enhancing your sex life. Breaking down barriers to discussing sexual fantasies and allowing them to become a part your sexual reality is the pathway to maintaining more satisfying relationships.
The Thorn Necklace
By Francesca Lia Block
For devotees of Bird by Bird and The Artist's Way, a memoir-driven guide to healing through the craft of writing A cinematic exploration of the writing life by Francesca Lia Block, the bestselling author of the Weetzie Bat series of magical-realism novels, The Thorn Necklace offers visceral insights and healing exercises for the writer who creates as a way to process pain and adversity. Gently guiding the reader down the write-to-heal path, Block offers guideposts of awareness for writers, such as how to find a muse, channeling agony into art, putting chaos into order, ignoring the inner critic, fostering personal perseverance, and thriving as an artist in a troubled world. The author also addresses the intrinsic value of channeling our experiences into the written word and provides compassionate support to the reader for his or her own write-to-heal process.
By Janina Scarlet, Vince Alvendia
Did you ever want to be a hero? Have you ever dreamed of going on an epic quest to destroy monsters, defeat evil forces and fly on the back of a dragon? This interactive new self-help book puts you, the reader, in a fantasy world where every decision you make and every path you take will influence the outcome of your journey. When the seer Anka spirits you away to the world of Here, you find yourself proclaimed the Chosen One - the hero everyone is relying on to defeat the evil sorceress Mallena before she destroys everything. But you don't feel like a hero, do you? If you choose to accept this quest, you will have an opportunity to learn the skills that you need and put together a crew of loyal friends and companions to help you with your journey. The skills are based on acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), which has been shown through research to help people overcome depression, anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), chronic pain, addiction disorders and many other common problems.Your journey will be full of danger, loss and strange creatures, but it will also be full of excitement, adventure and fun, and will let you form life-long bonds of friendship, which no curses can break. This book is your call to adventure, an invitation to be the hero in your own story.
By Giovanni Frazzetto
A deeply felt book that explores intimacy through the stories of eight relationships, from a leading neuroscientist and author of How We Feel.What is intimacy and why do we need it?Intimacy is that moment when our true identity is revealed to another, when traumas, fears, and ambitions are shared. Whether in friendship, love or family, intimacy redresses itself constantly, demanding we raze emotional barriers and discover who we really are. Through the ordinary stories of eight relationships, neuroscientist Giovanni Frazzetto has woven an extraordinary narrative of togetherness. He shares the details of romantic partners trapped in a long cycle of attraction and rejection, a single woman who finds herself deep in a fictional relationship with a boyfriend she has invented out of frustration with her love life, and a couple absorbed in a years-long clandestine affair. But intimacy can also extend beyond romantic encounters: coping with the loss of a loved one, dealing with overbearing or emotionally distant parents, or celebrating the joys and comforts of our dearest friends. In Together, Closer, Frazzetto unravels the components of intimacy in all of these relationships, illuminating the mysteries, challenges, and pleasures of intimacy through a brilliant mix of storytelling and science.
Today I Am...
By Carmen Warrington
From the author of popular affirmations handbook TODAY I WILL... comes this book of inspiration to use in daily life.Each page is an invitation to appreciate the richness of your inner world in all its colours, shades and contrasts. Contemplate any page to feed your soul and nurture your spirituality. To know yourself is to know the greatest secret of all - embark on a journey of self-discovery with TODAY I AM...
The Think Confident, Be Confident Workbook for Teens
By Marci G. Fox, Leslie Sokol
Self-confidence shapes the way you see the world. When you have healthy self-esteem, it helps you move through life and boosts your resilience against stress. On the other hand, negative thinking has negative consequences: low self-esteem and self-doubt can hold you and back and lead to self-sabotage, along with an increased risk of anxiety, depression, and self-destructive behaviors.With The Think Confident, Be Confident Workbook for Teens, two leaders in the field of CBT present the wisdom and guidance of Think Confident, Be Confident for Teens in a fun workbook format. Filled with easy CBT-based activities and tips, this book will help you recognize, rethink, and replace self-doubt, enabling you to transform your negative self-image into a more positive, accurate reflection so you have the confidence to pursue your dreams and find success.How you think affects how you feel and what you do. Now, with this proven-effective skills-based workbook, you'll be ready to eliminate self-doubt and build sustainable, unshakeable self-confidence and lasting self-esteem.
Ten Leadership Lessons You Must Teach Your Teenager
By Tim Hawkes
Over many years, renowned educator Dr Hawkes has taught thousands of students on the subject of leadership. He has learnt what's effective - and what's not - when talking to young people about leadership. Now Dr Hawkes brings that wisdom to the parents of teenage boys and girls, and to teenagers themselves. This book includes chapters on:- Making the right choices- Following the right examples- Finding a calling- Working with a team- Formulating strategies- Learning discipline.Dr Hawkes uses examples from ancient and modern history to illustrate his points about leadership and offers readers practical steps so that they can learn these leadership lessons.This book gives parents the information they need to instil leadership in their children, so they can learn how to take responsibility for themselves - whether to lead others or become the leader of their own lives. It is an essential book for any parent wanting to help their child navigate the many challenges that confront teenagers in the twenty-first century.
To Hell and Back
By John Marzillier
Despite how rare one-off traumatic events may seem, the statistics show that the majority of us are likely to experience such trauma at some point in our lives. In this innovative and engaging book, Marzillier combines first-hand accounts from trauma sufferers with over forty years of clinical practice to provide an honest, human description of how trauma affects us at the time and also after the event. Whether discussing accounts of terrorist bombings, natural disasters, road accidents or physical attacks, he looks at what these experiences do to us and offers practical and consoling advice - for both sufferers and their loved ones - on coping with the experience and developing resilience for the future.
Time for a Better Marriage
By Jon Carlson
Systematic, practical help for understanding marriage and developing the skills that make marriage rewarding, effective, and satisfying. Shows couples how to encourage each other, resolve conflict, communicate effectively, maintain equality in the marriage relationship, make better choices. Packed with useful examples and exercises, including communication exercises, "marriage meetings," self-evaluation questionnaires, planning charts, review questions, and lists of key "points to remember." Time for a Better Marriage is a self-contained skill building course for every couple that wants a more satisfying and lasting intimate relationship.
Today I Will...
By Carmen Warrington
You know you 'need' to meditate - because you've been told to - or maybe you want to learn to meditate but find it too difficult to establish a meditation practice. The answer you're looking for is affirmations, which work like mini meditations: your attention can be focused on the affirmation for a short period of time and give your brain a chance to let go of extraneous thoughts. You can repeat affirmations throughout the day for little moments of calm. The affirmations in TODAY I WILL... can help you develop mindfulness in a busy world, in just a few short minutes a day. They also provide moments of inspiration to uplift your everyday life. Each affirmation encourages you to make simple changes to daily routines and ways of thinking. The practical purpose, wisdom and joy associated with each affirmation are explained to you as you are guided towards your calm and creative nature.Start changing your life in a positive way: TODAY I WILL ...
Ten Powerful Phrases For Positive People
By Rich Devos
Successful businessman and philanthropistRich DeVos knows the value of a positive attitude and encouraging others. Drawing from knowledge he gained from his experiences and the influential people he met he explains how to unlock the powerful potential of ten ordinary, yet life-changing phrases. Simply by adding these phrases into daily conversations readers can help motivate achievement, instill confidence, and change attitudes in their work and family lives. DeVos explains how readers can cultivate a sense of hope in their hearts and share it with others. Through reading this book they'll begin to understand how developing a positive attitude can change their lives, their communities, and the world.
By G. Bruce Boyer
From choosing the right pair of eyeglasses to properly coordinating a shirt, tie, and pocket square, getting dressed is an art to be mastered. Yet, how many of us just throw on, well, whatever each morning? How many understand the subtleties of selecting the right pair of socks or the most compatible patterns of our various garments,much less the history, imperatives, and importance of our choices?In True Style , acclaimed fashion expert G. Bruce Boyer provides a crisp, indispensable primer for this daily ritual, catalogueuing the essential elements of the male wardrobe and showing how best to employ them. In witty, stylish prose, Boyer breezes through classic items and traditions in menswear, detailing the evolution and best uses of fabrics like denim and linen, accoutrements like neckties and eyeglasses, and principles for combining patterns, colours, and textures. He enlightens readers about acceptable circumstances for donning a turtleneck, declaims the evils of wearing dress shoes without socks, and trumpets the virtues of sprezzatura, the artistry of concealing effort beneath a cloak of nonchalance.With a gentle yet firm approach to the rules of dressing and an incredible working knowledge of the different items, styles, and principles of menswear, Boyer provides essential wardrobe guidance for the discriminating gentleman, explaining what true style looks like,and why.
By Matthew Hertenstein
Every day we make predictions based on limited information, in business and at home. Will this company's stock performance continue? Will the job candidate I just interviewed be a good employee? What kind of adult will my child grow up to be? We tend to dismiss our predictive minds as prone to bias and mistakes, but in The Tell , psychologist Matthew Hertenstein reveals that our intuition is surprisingly good at using small clues to make big predictions, and shows how we can make better decisions by homing in on the right details.Just as expert poker players use their opponents' tells to see through their bluffs, Hertenstein shows that we can likewise train ourselves to read physical cues to significantly increase our predictive acumen. By looking for certain clues, we can accurately call everything from election results to the likelihood of marital success, IQ scores to sexual orientation,even from flimsy evidence, such as an old yearbook photo or a silent one-minute video. Moreover, by understanding how people read our body language, we can adjust our own behaviour so as to ace our next job interview or tip the dating scales in our favour.Drawing on rigorous research in psychology and brain science, Hertenstein shows us how to hone our powers of observation to increase our predictive capacities. A charming testament to the power of the human mind, The Tell will, to paraphrase Sherlock Holmes, show us how to notice what we see.
Taming the Tiger Parent
By Tanith Carey
Mozart in the womb, Baby Einstein DVD's for newborns and i-pad learning apps for toddlers. From the moment the umbilical cord is cut, today's parents feel trapped in a never-ending race to ensure their child is the brightest and the best. But while it's completely natural for us to want our kids to reach their potential, at what point does too much competition become damaging?With constant testing in schools also raising the stakes, how can we tell when hot-housing children is actually doing more harm than good? In this ground-breaking and provocative book, award-winning journalist and parenting author Tanith Carey presents the latest research on what this contest is doing to the next generation. She explains why, far from making our children more go-getting and successful, it can back-fire with life-long repercussions, damage their emotional well-being and fracture their relationships with the very people who love them most: their parents.In this essential manual for today's modern parent, Tanith offers parents practical, realistic solutions that will give them permission to take their foot off the gas and reclaim a more relaxed family life. Packed with insights, experts' tips, real experiences and resources, this book is a timely guide to safeguarding your child's well-being in a competitive world - so they can grow into the happy, emotionally balanced people they really need to be.'I've hardly been able to put the book down . . . as I turned each page I'd find something else that resonated with me. . . Tanith has the ability to challenge your thinking without it being judgmental or preachy. She shares lots of real life case studies and draws on her own experience as a parent and combines this with solid research to make a really readable book. mummyfromtheheart.com 'A brilliant new parenting book . . . filled with strategies for raising children's self-esteem and nurturing them and how to help children avoid burn out and stress. I like how simple, doable yet effective these strategies are . . . I relished this book and I think it is really important. BabyBudgeting.co.uk 'An impassioned book appealing to other parents to rethink all the relentless competitiveness - before it's too late.' Psychologies 'A highly readable, well-balanced, well-argued contribution to the rapidly-growing mountain of parenting books, with plenty of practical, achievable advice for anyone who wants to escape from the tiger race.' Sue Palmer, author of Toxic Childhood 'A fantastic new book by Tanith Carey which gives children back their childhood.' Dr David Whitebread, Senior Lecturer in Psychology of Education at Cambridge University 'The book is GREAT . . . in a great tradition along with Madeleine Bunting's Willing Slaves, and Sue Gerhardt's The Selfish Society, and of course Kim Payne's Simplicity Parenting, as critiques of society that also help us re-orient our parenting . . . beautifully lucid and readable, and . . . definitely on the right track in terms of what kids need. Steve Biddulph, parenting author 'I could not stop reading! It is one of those books that from page one, had me nodding and agreeing at every point.' Shaheen Merali, Families'Possibly the best book I have read in the parenting arena. Insightful and thought-provoking, it teaches you how to parent in a better, more conducive way so that you stay connected to your child and see them for who they are - not what they can do.' Naomi Richards, The Parenting Coach
The Thing You Think You Cannot Do
By Gordon Livingston
Fear- of change, of intimacy, of loss, of the unknown- has become a corrosive influence in modern life, eroding our ability to think clearly. Overcoming our fear, says Dr. Gordon Livingston, constitutes the most difficult struggle we face. Dr. Livingston has increasingly found himself prescribing virtues like courage to his patients instead of antidepressants. Now he tells us what we need to do to develop personal virtues in the face of societal and individual fears. He does all this with the crystalline prose and leavening wit that have made him an internationally bestselling author.