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'Twas the Fight Before Christmas

By Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd
Authors:
Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd
From the creators of the bestselling parodies We're Going on a Bar Hunt, The Very Hungover Caterpillar and The Teenager Who Came to Tea.'Tis the season to be jolly. But as any modern family knows, 'tis also the season to be micro-managed by your in-laws, guzzle too many sherries, fight over the TV remote, and panic about your internet shopping not arriving on time.But if you think that's bad, just wait until you meet the Jones family. Instead of this being their best Christmas ever, this might just be their last - especially if they don't all pull together to help their surprise guest in his hour of need.An uproariously funny update of the traditional Christmas Eve classic - that all the family can enjoy.Praise for The Very Hungover Caterpillar'Hilarious and painfully accurate, The Very Hungover Caterpillar is liable to be one of those parodies that becomes more famous than the original' IndependentPraise for We're Going on a Bar Hunt'. . . a parody that will draw a smile from any parent' Guardian Praise for The Teenager Who Came to Tea'A hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book and a perfect read for anyone who remembers the original, or has ever been a teenager or is the parent / grandparent of a teenager today' gransnet.com
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1-2-3, You Love Me

By Jill Howarth
Authors:
Jill Howarth
From one bear hug to twelve pretty red roses, 1-2-3, You Love Me will foster lots of hugs, kisses, and affection between parent and child while teaching young ones to count from one to twelve. With charming love-filled illustrations, sturdy pages, and clever rhyming text, this is the perfect gift for baby for Valentine's Day or any time of year. Sipping on yummy shakes, cuddling puppies, counting the colors in a rainbow, and making music with friends are all ways that children can express their love for their friends and family with Jill Howarth's delightful new board book.

The 10 Commandments

A surprising, informative, enlightening and at times outrageous must have guide to life from the world's most famous rock stars. Together with the finest selection from the Qmagazine archives and new unseen material, TEN COMMANDMENTS presents ten rules for life from fifty musicians.'Thou shalt not play golf.' BONO'Painting is good for the soul.' IGGY POP 'A sexy man is one who looks after his family.' TORI AMOS'Snakes are built for the Summer.' ALICE COOPER'Make like a boy scout.' STEVIE NICKS'Do as Madonna says.' NILE RODGERS'Always be honest to your wife.' JOHN LYDON'Check the caffeine content.' JOHNNY MARR
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10 Little Kisses

By Taylor Garland
Authors:
Taylor Garland
This Valentine's Day, everyone from puppies to polar bears is saying "I love you!" Share hugs and kisses--and an easy counting lesson--with baby in this sing-along board book full of sweet animal photography.

The 100 Words That Make The English

By Tony Thorne
Authors:
Tony Thorne
Englishness is an ancient and powerful concept, but no one seems sure exactly what it means in the twenty-first century. In exploring our national identity, Tony Thorne has compiled a fascinating compendium of the hundred words and phrases that have become the cornerstones of modern English, and have been used - sometimes deliberately, but often inadvertently - to stake out our common ground, to define what makes us essentially English, and thus different from those beastly foreigners who lurk just off our shores.
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1001 Really Stupid Jokes

By Mike Phillips
Authors:
Mike Phillips
Another terrific compilation of jokes in the hugely successful series of Robinson Children's joke books - this one specialises in completely ridiculous and utterly stupid ones - they'll love it!
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The 12 Days of Christmas

By Jill Howarth
Authors:
Jill Howarth
Share the joy of the holiday season with the classic Christmas carol, "The Twelve Days of Christmas." Readers will sing along with adorable woodland animals as they recount all the extravagant gifts they've received each day from their true loves.Featuring fun, retro-inspired illustrations on thick, sturdy pages, The 12 Days of Christmas is a must-have to complete any Christmas celebration year after year!

50 People Who Screwed Up Scotland

By Allan Brown
Authors:
Allan Brown
To be Scottish is to have a lot to live down, and as Allan Brown shows, this lot do the job superbly. Whether it be Robert Burns, indecipherable bard of rustic gibberish or Sean Connery, die-hard advocate of a country he refuses to live in.Or, Alex Salmond, the chortling bullfrog of separatism or Tommy Sheridan, the sexy socialist hardliner. They're all here, and many others; a veritable embassy of bad ambassadors.50 People Who Screwed Up Scotland is a humorous and chronologically-sequential series of essays, histories and anecdotes that consider those episodes and occurrences in Scotland's political, cultural and social story where, against all odds, defeat was plucked from the jaws of victory.
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50 People Who Buggered Up Britain

By Quentin Letts
Authors:
Quentin Letts
Which fifty people made Britain the wreck she is? From ludicrous propagandist Alastair Campbell to the Luftwaffe's allies, the modernist architects, it's time to name the guilty.Quentin Letts sharpens his nib and stabs them where they deserve it, from TV gardener Alan Titchmarsh, the dumbed-down buffoon who put the 'h' in Aspidistra, to the perpetrators of the 'Credit Crunch'. Margaret Thatcher ruptured our national unity. The creators of EastEnders trashed our brand over high tea. Thus, he argues, are the people who made our country the ugly, scheming, cheating, beer-ridden bum of the Western world. Here are the fools and knaves and vulgarians who ripped down our British glories and imposed the tawdry and the trite. In a half century we have gone from end-of-Empire to descent-into-Hell.
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50 People Who Fouled Up Football

By Michael Henderson
Authors:
Michael Henderson
Despite its immense wealth, and the high public profile it enjoys, English football is not a land of milk and honey. The national side has won the World Cup only once when England staged the tournament in 1966 and the woeful performances in recent years would suggest that Sir Alf Ramsey's success will retain its unique status.50 People Who Fouled Up Football casts a sceptical eye on the game in this country. It looks at the game as it really is, through the gaze of an outsider, who grew up loving the game but who has been turned off by the excesses of players, managers, broadcasters and fans, and increasingly by the rich men who own and run the clubs.The big bang came in 1992, when the Premier League went its own merry way, aided by the millions that Sky television found to ease the passage. Now the game is richer, and can attract the world's leading stars, but it is poorer in spirit. The old football community means little to these Masters of the Universe. The old links between club and community have been ruined, and many players live in a different world, where they feel free to behave as they like.The book names the guilty, who include those on the fringes of the game as well as the ones at the heart of it. Indignant in the right sense, it is a lament for a spoilt game, and a world that has vanished.The 50 People are, in alphabetical order:Roman Abramovich, Sam Allardyce, Mike Ashley, David Baddiel, Tony Banks, Joey Barton, Ken Bates, Victoria Beckham, George Best, Sid and Doris Bonkers, Billy Bragg, Ashley Cole, Garry Cook, Hunter Davies, Didier Drogba, Martin Edwards, Sven-Goran Eriksson, 'The Fans', Paul Gascoigne, 'Geordie Blubber', 'The Golden Generation', Alan Green, Alan Hansen, Derek Hatton, Nigel Kennedy, Richard Keys, Lord Kinnaird, Nick Love, Steve McClaren, Freddie Mercury, Piers Morgan, Jose Mourinho, Graham Poll, Sir Alf Ramsey, Antonio Rattin, Charles Reep, Don Revie, Peter Ridsdale, Robinho, Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney, Richard Scudamore, Bill Shankly, Bob Shennan, Peter Swales, Gordon Taylor, Sir Harold Thompson, Terry Venables, Ian Wright, Pini Zahavi.
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50 Ways To Lose Your Glasses

By Warby Parker
Authors:
Warby Parker
Finding a pair of glasses you love is the easy part. Holding onto them--well, that's another story. The evocative, whimsical illustrations in 50 Ways to Lose Your Glasses showcase a blinding variety of eyewear failures, ranging from foolish (yoga, karaoke, mosh pit) to knee-trembling (drone collision, cat burglar, sneezing fit) to surreal (alien encounter, swamp monster, elves). Everyone has a dad, grandma, bestie, or boyfriend who can't seem to hold onto their glasses. Conceived by Warby Parker and with drawings by Brooklyn-based illustrator John Lee, 50 Ways to Lose Your Glasses makes the perfect gift for your bespectacled, humor-loving friend or family member.

50 Years of MAC

By Mark Bryant, Stanley McMurtry
Authors:
Mark Bryant
Illustrated by:
Stanley McMurtry
Political cartoonist MAC started at the Daily Sketch in 1969. At the end of 2018, he will have been capturing British life for 50 years. To mark these five decades working as an editorial cartoonist in Fleet Street, the very best of MAC's cartoons from the 1960s to the present day have been assembled to tell the history of Britain and its place in the world. From miniskirts and Flower Power to the Falklands War and the rise of Margaret Thatcher, and from the Royal Family and the adventures of Harry Potter to Andy Murray and the Spice Girls, this book provides a unique and humorous perspective on the past fifty years.
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75 Worst Ways to Die

By Rich Maloof, H.P. Newquist
Authors:
Rich Maloof, H.P. Newquist
75 Worst Ways to Die reveals the intriguing facts behind the many ways humans bite the dust in encounters with deadly insects, hungry predators, natural disasters, and freak occurrences. Thoroughly researched and illustrated, not to mention thoroughly hilarious, this book describes in deathly detail what happens to the body when it's struck by lightning, slimed by a dart frog, or flung from a mountaintop.No other book has ever peeked under the Grim Reaper's robe in such a straightforward and irreverent way. With a foreword by a leading physician, an afterword by a funeral director, lists of history's most notable deaths, and a unique death rating system, everything you need to know about the ways in which we go are included in this fascinating book.Includes the following horrible ways to go:Anthrax; Black Widow Spider; Bombs; Bullet Wound; Burning at the Stake; Cancer; Drinking Binge; Drowning; Drug Overdose; Ebola; Execution; Falling from a Mountain; Fatal Insomnia; Freezing; Gangrene; Great White Shark; Hunger Strike; Lightning Strike; Nuclear Explosion; Plague; Smallpox; Snakes; Syphillis; Unscheduled Plane Landing; Working in a Coal Mine and 50 other ways the Grim Reaper has of coming to get you!