Geoff Tibballs - The Mammoth Book of Weird News - Little, Brown Book Group

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    • ISBN:9781845299347
    • Publication date:03 Nov 2011
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The Mammoth Book of Weird News

By Geoff Tibballs

  • E-Book
  • £P.O.R.

A bumper collection of the most outrageous, but absolutely true, news stories.

A humorous collection of hundreds of funny news stories, whacky phenomena, and hilarious blunders and gaffes from around the world, such as: the woman who smuggled 75 live snakes in her bra; the man who held a funeral for his amputated foot; the radioactive cat which got mistaken for a bomb; the human tongue that got served up in a hospital; the X-ray that revealed E.T.'s face in a duck; the youth who woke to find a bullet in his tongue; the tortoise that set a house on fire; and many more.

Biographical Notes

Geoff Tibballs is the author of the bestselling Mammoth Book of Jokes and The Mammoth Book of Dirty Jokes as well as many other books including Business Blunders and Legal Blunders. A former journalist and press officer, he is now a full-time writer who lists his hobbies as sport, eating, drinking, and avoiding housework. He lives in Nottingham, England, with his wife and daughters.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781849019590
  • Publication date: 03 Nov 2011
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  • Imprint: Robinson
Robinson

50 Years of MAC

Mark Bryant, Stanley McMurtry
Contributors:
Mark Bryant, Stanley McMurtry

Political cartoonist MAC started at the Daily Sketch in 1969. At the end of 2018, he will have been capturing British life for 50 years. To mark these five decades working as an editorial cartoonist in Fleet Street, the very best of MAC's cartoons from the 1960s to the present day have been assembled to tell the history of Britain and its place in the world. From miniskirts and Flower Power to the Falklands War and the rise of Margaret Thatcher, and from the Royal Family and the adventures of Harry Potter to Andy Murray and the Spice Girls, this book provides a unique and humorous perspective on the past fifty years.

Robinson

The Curious Cures Of Old England

Nigel Cawthorne
Authors:
Nigel Cawthorne

Did you know that a child can be cured of the whooping cough by passing it under the belly of a donkey?The history of medicine in Britain is filled with the most bizarre and gruesome cures for many common ailments. Although enthusiastically supported by doctors of the time, many of these cures were often useless and often resulted in the death of the patient.But strange and alarming though many of the cures may seem, some of them did in fact work and provide the basis of much of the medicine we take for granted nowadays. The use of herbs by medieval monks was remarkably effective - and still is today.This highly entertaining and informative book will fascinate anyone who has ever wondered whether doctors really know what they are talking about - just don't try any of the cures mentioned at home!Or that weak eyes can be cured by the application of chicken dung - or alternatively be large draughts of beer taken in the morning?Or that the juice extracted from a bucketful of snails covered in brown sugar and hung over a basin overnight was once used to cure a sore throat?

Robinson

The Mammoth Book of New Comic Quotes

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs

With over 3,500 entries, arranged by topic, fully indexed and up-to-date for the twenty-first century, here is a bumper new collection of witticisms and wisecracks. If you're looking for a quick quip to get the crowd on your side, struggling to put the finishing touches to a wedding speech or just want to cheer yourself and your mates up, this marvellous mammoth book provides all you'll ever need. Entries range from insults, put-downs, gags and one-liners to homespun philosophy, witty proverbs, movie quotes and graffiti. Among the contributors featured are Ricky Gervais, Sir Terry Pratchett, Tina Fey, Milton Jones, Russell Brand, Bill Bryson, Armando Iannucci, Stephen Fry, Jeremy Clarkson, Larry David, Grayson Perry, Germaine Greer, Will Ferrell and many more. Never be stuck for a good line again! 'Al Gore met with Donald Trump to discuss climate change. To try to explain it in terms Trump would understand, Gore said, "The planet is getting hotter than your daughter Ivanka."' Conan O'Brien'The only time it's cool to yell, "I have diarrhoea!" is when you're playing Scrabble.' Zach Galifianakis

Robinson

The World's 100 Weirdest Sporting Events

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs

When we think of the world's great sporting events, we tend to focus on spectacles such as the World Cup, the Olympics, the Derby, the Monaco Grand Prix or the University Boat Race. Yet there is also an alternative world of competition where participants risk life, limb and often dignity for meagre rewards in truly weird sporting pursuits. Step forward the Indonesian sport of sepak bola api, a variation of football in which the barefoot players kick a ball that is on fire; Germany's Mud Olympics, at which competitors play soccer, volleyball and handball while knee-deep in mud; yak racing from Mongolia; Oregon's Pig-N-Ford Races where drivers speed around the track while carrying a live pig under one arm; and Australia's variation of the Boat Race, the Henley-on-Todd Regatta, where, instead of rowing, teams carry their boats along the dry bed of the River Todd.This book lists geographically the world's 100 weirdest sports events, giving full details of their rules and colourful history. They include the grotesque (the national sport of Afghanistan is buzkashi, in which riders on horseback aim to drag the headless carcass of a dead goat towards their opponents' goal), the dangerous (Japanese hardcore wrestlers batter each other with glass fluorescent light tubes instead of their bare hands), and the downright daft in the form of the World Black Pudding Throwing Championships, the World Flounder Tramping Championships, the World Gravy Wrestling Championships and the World Shin-Kicking Championships.Races are staged in all kinds of transportation. Canada is home to the Great Klondike Outhouse Race (for portable toilets), the Vancouver Bathtub Race, and the Windsor Pumpkin Regatta; Colorado hosts the annual Emma Crawford Coffin Races; and the pride of Yorkshire is the Great Knaresborough Bed Race, where teams push a bed (containing human occupant) along a 2.4-mile course that requires a wet crossing of the River Nidd. Animals feature heavily, too. As well as traditional races for ostriches (complete with jockeys), cockroaches (no jockey required), armadillos, sheep, and Oklahoma City's splendid Dachshund Dash, rubber-duck racing is one of the fastest growing sports of recent years with events being held in several countries. Other competitions test an animal's ability to do more than just run or float, such as elephant polo, dog surfing, camel wrestling, rabbit show jumping and pig diving. It is not beyond the realms of possibility that in the near future we may even be treated to synchronized pig diving.Although the plunging porkers might disagree, the appeal of many of these sports is enhanced by taking part. If cheese rolling or volcano boarding are too energetic for your taste, ice golf or underwater hockey too uncomfortable, and lingerie football wouldn't show off your legs to best effect, you could always enjoy more leisurely pursuits like the world championships in rock, paper, scissors or pooh sticks. If, on the other hand, you prefer a watching brief, you could try your hand at cow patty bingo, a North American contest where a field is divided into numbered squares, and contestants bet on which square the cow will take a poop. It is probably the only occasion in life when you can make money from one number two on top of another.

Sphere

Return Of The Timewaster Letters

Robin Cooper
Authors:
Robin Cooper
Robinson

100 Plants That Won't Die in Your Garden

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs
Grand Central Publishing

Suck Less

Willam Belli
Authors:
Willam Belli

SUCK LESS: WHERE THERE'S A WILLAM, THERE'S A WAY is a raunchy lifestyle guide. It gives comedic yet usable lessons and real world life-hacks that will help you be a cooler "you" and probably make Satan himself wanna stand up and applaud you!Inside this book you'll learn makeup tips (like how to fake a black eye for family court), travel tips (where the hookers who will let you take pics with them in Amdsterdam are), party tips (i.e. what liquor is okay to rectally buttchug) and so much more from the only contestant to ever get kicked off RuPaul's Drag Race!

Robinson

The World's 100 Weirdest Museums

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs
Hachette Audio

Meet David Sedaris: Series Five

David Sedaris
Authors:
David Sedaris

David Sedaris's remarkable ability to uncover the hilarious absurdity teeming just below the surface of everyday life is surpassed only by his ability to make his stories even more hilarious when he reads them aloud. This is the complete recording of Meet David Sedaris Series Five, for Radio 4, and he reads essays from several of his books as well as many brand new diary pieces and extras. The full listing is: Episode 1 The Understudy; Big BoyEpisode 2 Stepping Out; The Vigilant RabbitEpisode 3 LeviathanEpisode 4 Little Guy, The Ones That Got Away, Now Hiring Friendly PeopleEpisode 5 Calypso; Follow MeEpisode 6 Loggerheads

Robinson

The Good, the Bad and the Wurst

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs
Robinson

Crap Kitchen

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs

The worst cookbook ever, packed with truly bizarre and utterly disgusting recipes from all over the worldEver since humankind produced its first foodie, the culinary world has dished up some staggering confections which could best be described as 'acquired tastes': dishes such as Virgin Boy Eggs (eggs soaked in the urine of prepubescent boys); live octopus, which clutches at the diner's tongue and throat as it is swallowed; and Beard Beer, made from the yeast found in facial hair.In northern Greenland, the Inuit are fond of cramming as many as 500 dead auks (small sea birds) into an old seal skin which they place under a large rock until the birds have fermented into what has rightly been described as a 'sticky, pungent, toxic, cheesy gloop'. Kiviak, as it is called, is eaten by biting off the birds' heads and sucking out the juices. The mighty Roman Empire was built on such delicacies as larks' tongues, stuffed thrush, boiled flamingo and grilled cow's womb, while the Tudors loved nothing more than a roast cockenthrice: the head and upper body of a pig carefully stitched onto the lower body and legs of a turkey.Today, for those with an adventurous mindset and a robust life insurance policy, there is no shortage of nauseating local delicacies to enjoy. In China, not only is tuna eyeball on the menu, but also yak penis (served whole). In Vietnam, one can enjoy the still-beating heart of a freshly-killed snake; in Iceland, raw puffin heart. In the Philippines, there is duck embryo to be had - like a Kinder Surprise . . . only containing a dead foetus instead of a toy. In Sardinia, they like nothing more than a nice bit of maggot-infested cheese; and the favourite tipple of Korean foodies is Ttongsul, a wine made from the fermented faeces of a child.Bon appetit!

Corsair

Carsick

John Waters
Authors:
John Waters

John Waters is putting his life on the line. Armed with wit, a pencil-thin moustache, and a cardboard sign that reads 'I'm Not Psycho', he hitchhikes across America from Baltimore to San Francisco, braving lonely roads and treacherous drivers. But who should we be more worried about, the delicate film director with genteel manners or the unsuspecting travelers transporting the Pope of Trash?Along the way, Waters fantasizes about the best and worst possible scenarios: a friendly drug dealer hands over piles of cash to finance films with no questions asked, a demolition-derby driver makes a filthy sexual request in the middle of a race, a gun-toting drunk terrorizes and holds him hostage, and a Kansas vice squad entraps and throws him in jail. So what really happens when this cult legend sticks out his thumb and faces the open road? Laced with subversive humour and warm intelligence, Carsick is an unforgettable ride with a wickedly funny companion - and a celebration of America's weird, astonishing, and generous citizens.

Virago

I'll Have What She's Having

Rebecca Harrington
Authors:
Rebecca Harrington
Corsair

Role Models

John Waters
Authors:
John Waters

Role Models is a wild and witty self-portrait of John Waters, America's 'Pope of Trash', told through intimate profiles of his favourite personalities - some famous, some unknown, some criminal, some surprisingly middle of the road. From Esther Martin, owner of the scariest bar in Baltimore, to the playwright Tennessee Williams; from the atheist leader Madalyn Murray O'Hair to the insane martyr Saint Catherine of Siena; from the English novelist Denton Welch to the timelessly appealing singer Johnny Mathis - these are the extreme figures who helped John Waters form his own brand of neurotic happiness.A paean to the power of subversive inspiration that delights, amuses and happily horrifies in equal measure...

Constable

50 People Who Screwed Up Scotland

Allan Brown
Authors:
Allan Brown
Sphere

Copper: A Dog's Life

Annabel Goldsmith
Authors:
Annabel Goldsmith
Sphere

The Married Kama Sutra

Simon Rich, Farley Katz
Authors:
Simon Rich, Farley Katz
Piatkus

The Strange Laws Of Old England

Nigel Cawthorne
Authors:
Nigel Cawthorne

Did you know that: It's against the law to check into a hotel in London under assumed names for the purpose of lovemaking? Under a statute of Edwards II all whales washed up on the shore belong to the monarch? Under a Tudor law Welshmen are not allowed into the city of Chester after dark?In THE STRANGE LAWS OF OLD ENGLAND, Nigel Cawthorne unearths an extraordinary collection of the most bizarre and arcane laws that have been enacted over the centuries. Some of the laws, incredibly, are still in force. It is still illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour . . . This elegant and amusing book is perfect for everyone fascinated by the eccentric history of these islands.

Hachette Australia

Things Bogans Like

E. Chas McSween, Enron Hubbard, Flash Johnson, Hunter McKenzie-Smythe, Intravenus Demilo, Michael Jayfox
Authors:
E. Chas McSween, Enron Hubbard, Flash Johnson, Hunter McKenzie-Smythe, Intravenus Demilo, Michael Jayfox

The word bogan has a bad rap; first impressions are still associated with flannelette, VB, utes and mullets. But this would be wrong. The bogan has advanced and needs new explanation, evolution has cursed (or blessed, depending on your thinking) us with a modern version. The bogan with money. The bogan with aspirations. The bogan with Ed Hardy t-shirts. The new bogan will not rest until it owns a plasma TV so large that Rove McManus becomes six feet tall for the first time. Today's bogan defies income, class, race, creed, gender, religion and logic. Now the bogan is defined by what it does, what it says and, most importantly, what it buys. Those who choose to deny the bogan on the basis of their stockbroking career or their massive trust fund choose not to see the real bogan. Many bogans are affluent and perhaps are working in that same stockbroking firm and sharing a Corona with you over Friday night drinks. They set themselves apart by their efforts to stand out by conforming as furiously, and conspicuously, as possible.

Sphere

Buster's Diaries

Roy Hattersley
Authors:
Roy Hattersley