Geoff Tibballs - The Mammoth Book of Jokes New edn - Little, Brown Book Group

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The Mammoth Book of Jokes New edn

By Geoff Tibballs

  • Paperback
  • £7.99

Quite simply, the greatest compendium of humour ever written! Over 7500 entries.

Quite simply, the greatest compendium of humour ever written!

Even bigger and better than ever, The Mammoth Book of Jokes is the ultimate joke book - now revised and expanded to over 7500 entries.

This endlessly entertaining collection covers everything you could ever think of, from Birthdays and Dogs to Mothers-in- Law and War. Plus epigrams, limericks, misprints and howlers, shaggy dog stories, politically incorrect jokes, toasts, pick-up lines and put-downs ....

Extra new material for this bumper edition includes favourite celebrity jokes - specially chosen by the likes of Bill Clinton, Gordon Ramsay, Dustin Hoffman and Tony Blair - as well as no fewer than 2000 brand new jokes.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781845293840
  • Publication date: 19 Oct 2006
  • Page count: 704
  • Imprint: Robinson
New Harbinger

The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook, 3rd Edition

Martin M. Antony, Richard Swinson
Authors:
Martin M. Antony, Richard Swinson
Robinson

The Mammoth Book of New Comic Quotes

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs
Robinson

The World's 100 Weirdest Sporting Events

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs

When we think of the world's great sporting events, we tend to focus on spectacles such as the World Cup, the Olympics, the Derby, the Monaco Grand Prix or the University Boat Race. Yet there is also an alternative world of competition where participants risk life, limb and often dignity for meagre rewards in truly weird sporting pursuits. Step forward the Indonesian sport of sepak bola api, a variation of football in which the barefoot players kick a ball that is on fire; Germany's Mud Olympics, at which competitors play soccer, volleyball and handball while knee-deep in mud; yak racing from Mongolia; Oregon's Pig-N-Ford Races where drivers speed around the track while carrying a live pig under one arm; and Australia's variation of the Boat Race, the Henley-on-Todd Regatta, where, instead of rowing, teams carry their boats along the dry bed of the River Todd.This book lists geographically the world's 100 weirdest sports events, giving full details of their rules and colourful history. They include the grotesque (the national sport of Afghanistan is buzkashi, in which riders on horseback aim to drag the headless carcass of a dead goat towards their opponents' goal), the dangerous (Japanese hardcore wrestlers batter each other with glass fluorescent light tubes instead of their bare hands), and the downright daft in the form of the World Black Pudding Throwing Championships, the World Flounder Tramping Championships, the World Gravy Wrestling Championships and the World Shin-Kicking Championships.Races are staged in all kinds of transportation. Canada is home to the Great Klondike Outhouse Race (for portable toilets), the Vancouver Bathtub Race, and the Windsor Pumpkin Regatta; Colorado hosts the annual Emma Crawford Coffin Races; and the pride of Yorkshire is the Great Knaresborough Bed Race, where teams push a bed (containing human occupant) along a 2.4-mile course that requires a wet crossing of the River Nidd. Animals feature heavily, too. As well as traditional races for ostriches (complete with jockeys), cockroaches (no jockey required), armadillos, sheep, and Oklahoma City's splendid Dachshund Dash, rubber-duck racing is one of the fastest growing sports of recent years with events being held in several countries. Other competitions test an animal's ability to do more than just run or float, such as elephant polo, dog surfing, camel wrestling, rabbit show jumping and pig diving. It is not beyond the realms of possibility that in the near future we may even be treated to synchronized pig diving.Although the plunging porkers might disagree, the appeal of many of these sports is enhanced by taking part. If cheese rolling or volcano boarding are too energetic for your taste, ice golf or underwater hockey too uncomfortable, and lingerie football wouldn't show off your legs to best effect, you could always enjoy more leisurely pursuits like the world championships in rock, paper, scissors or pooh sticks. If, on the other hand, you prefer a watching brief, you could try your hand at cow patty bingo, a North American contest where a field is divided into numbered squares, and contestants bet on which square the cow will take a poop. It is probably the only occasion in life when you can make money from one number two on top of another.

Running Press Kids

A Charlie Brown Christmas Wrapping Paper Activity Book

Charles M. Schulz
Authors:
Charles M. Schulz

Kids and adults alike will love preparing for the holidays with this fun new activity kit featuring Charles M. Schulz's beloved Peanuts characters. Inspired by the Christmas classic, A Charlie Brown Christmas, this kit includes three 18x24 sheets of wrapping paper to color, an advent poster to hang up and count down the days until Santa arrives, plus 16 pages of activities and crafts to help make your holiday extra special. Cut out Charlie Brown and Snoopy ornaments for your Christmas tree or make holiday gift tags featuring Lucy, Pigpen, Woodstock, and others. A Charlie Brown Christmas Wrapping Paper Activity Book will provide hours of fun for the whole family as you get into the Christmas spirit with Peanuts.

Sphere

An American Family

Khizr Khan
Authors:
Khizr Khan
Little, Brown

Theft by Finding

David Sedaris
Authors:
David Sedaris

THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER'He's like an American Alan Bennett, in that his own fastidiousness becomes the joke, as per the taxi encounter, or his diary entry about waiting interminably in a coffee-bar queue' Guardian review of An Evening with David SedarisThe point is to find out who you are and to be true to that person. Because so often you can't. Won't people turn away if they know the real me? you wonder. The me that hates my own child, that put my perfectly healthy dog to sleep? The me who thinks, deep down, that maybe The Wire was overrated?For nearly four decades, David Sedaris has faithfully kept a diary in which he records his thoughts and observations on the odd and funny events he witnesses. Anyone who has attended a live Sedaris event knows that his diary readings are often among the most joyful parts of the evening. But never before have they been available in print. Now, in Theft by Finding, Sedaris brings us his favorite entries. From the family home in Ralegh, North Carolina, we follow Sedaris as he sets out to make his way in the world. As an art student and then teacher in Chicago he works at a succession of very odd jobs, meeting even odder people, before moving to New York to pursue a career as a writer - where instead he very quickly lands a job in Macy's department store as an elf in Santaland... Tender, hilarious, illuminating, and endlessly captivating, Theft by Finding offers a rare look into the mind of one of our generation's greatest comic geniuses.

Running Press Adult

Kirk and Anne

Kirk Douglas, Anne Douglas
Authors:
Kirk Douglas, Anne Douglas

Kirk and Anne: Letters of Love, Laughter, and a Lifetime in Hollywood is the story of film legend and charismatic centenarian Kirk Douglas and his wife of sixty-two years, Anne Buydens. The lessons of a life well-lived and untold stories of their enduring love unfold through the couple's own candid commentary and a treasure trove of priceless letters from their personal archives. Painstakingly maintained by Anne over the course of more than six decades and never before made public, the correspondence includes candid details of their (often turbulent) courtship and marriage, set against the backdrop of Kirk's screen triumphs in films ranging from Lust For Life to Paths of Glory and Spartacus.Through the letters themselves and Kirk and Anne's words, never-before-told stories emerge about the legendary stars they knew so well: Lauren Bacall, Frank Sinatra, Burt Lancaster, Marlene Dietrich, Gregory Peck, Cole Porter, John Wayne, Tony Curtis, and son Michael Douglas; fascinating first-hand accounts of Hollywood film sets and dinner parties; exotic tales of travel to over forty countries as goodwill ambassadors. There are personal stories of presidents and first ladies (JFK and Jackie, LBJ and Lady Bird, Jimmy and Rosalyn Carter, Bill and Hillary Clinton and, "Ronnie" and Nancy Reagan), and powerful memories of both joy and sadness (Kirk's near-fatal helicopter crash, his astonishing recovery from a debilitating stroke, the tragic death of their youngest son). Complemented by dozens of previously unpublished photos, Kirk and Anne candidly details the adventurous, oftentimes comic, and poignant reality behind the glamour of a Hollywood life, as only a couple of sixty-two years (and counting) could tell it.

Piatkus

Red Teaming

Bryce G. Hoffman
Authors:
Bryce G. Hoffman
Robinson

Where am I Going and Can I Have a Map?

Jonathan Black
Authors:
Jonathan Black

'We will certainly be recommending the book to all our parents. It's quite simply the best available.'George Fussey, Head of Career Education, Eton College'A book about how to lead a happy life' - James Hodgson, Bedford School'One of the most practical and comprehensible career guides ever produced' - Baroness Gillian Shephard'Indispensable, inviting and engaging' - Prof Dame Carol Black, DBE, FRCP, FMedSci'A uniquely powerful guidebook' - Mark Byford, Egon Zehnder'The definitive careers guide' - David Palfreyman, OBE'Wise, calming and pragmatic' - Emma Jacobs, FT'A true career design compendium' - Caroline Konrad, Ryerson University'Winningly combines anecdotes, surveys and years of professional experience' - Dr Tim Hands, Winchester School'Elegant, light and humorous style' - Prof Dame Carol Black, DBE, FRCP, FMedSci'From an expert at the top of his game' - David Palfreyman, OBEThis book will help you feel more empowered about your career. You can read it from beginning to end, or dive into specific sections for immediate advice on, for example, writing your CV. There are three sections:Stepping Back - What's this all about? The bigger issues that frame the whole area of your career and jobs; looking down on your career map from 10,000 feet. Practicalities - What do I do on Monday Morning? CVs, applications, interviews and all the other details on your map. Along the Way - Or, How do I Keep Going? How to cope with the hurdles and challenges that you might encounter while you're travelling along your route It includes an extensive set of real examples to bring it all alive, and is grounded with helpful statistics and sociological research.

Robinson

100 Plants That Won't Die in Your Garden

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs
Constable

The Wish

Bill Griffin
Authors:
Bill Griffin

Uniquely the book will be published with 99 different covers, a selection of which can be seen here. Your cover will therefore be a surprise and we really hope that you like the one that you receive.Just over 1,000 days ago, Bill Griffin launched Crowdwish, a website and app with a single proposition - it simply asked people what three things they thought they wanted most. Wishes poured in from all over the world, with the site promising to take some form of meaningful action for the most up-voted wish every twenty-four hours. Wishes that have gained national press attention range from the assisting of a woman who wanted to find a half-decent boyfriend ('just not a dick basically'), duping Katie Hopkins into signing a gagging order and attaching a faux marble plinth to the offices of the Daily Mail.The Wish reviews 99 of the site's most popular wishes, and asks: what are the things we really want, how can we get closer to them and how much happier would we be if they were to come true? The result is a snapshot of the hopes, dreams and desires that unite us all, part reflection on a fascinating social experiment, part humorous rumination on the nature of happiness and part instruction manual for life.The Wish is funny, upbeat and genuinely helpful - each reader is invited to pick one wish from the book that resonates most with them, and email the author for help in making it happen.

Black Dog & Leventhal

The Presidents Fact Book

Roger Matuz
Authors:
Roger Matuz

The Presidents Fact Book is a complete compendium of all things presidential and a sweeping survey of American history through the biographical lens of every president from George Washington through Barack Obama.Organized chronologically by president, each entry covers the major accomplishments and events of the presidential term; cabinet members, election results, groundbreaking legislation, and Supreme Court appointments; personality and personal habits; career before the presidency; a behind-the-scenes look at the wives, families, friends, and foes; and much more, including hobbies, odd behaviors, and outlandish penchants. Major primary documents from each administration-from the Bill of Rights to Barack Obama's speech on race in America-provide a glimpse into the crucial moments of America's storied past in the words of those who were at the helm.Perfect for students, history buffs, and political junkies, The President's Fact Book is at once an expansive collage of our nation's 45 individual presidents and a comprehensive view of American history.

Robinson

The World's 100 Weirdest Museums

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs

When we think of the world's great museums, we tend to think of the Louvre, the Guggenheim or the Victoria and Albert. We do not immediately think of the Dog Collar Museum, the Kansas Barbed Wire Museum, the Museum of Broken Relationships or Barney Smith's Toilet Seat Art Museum. Yet scattered across the globe are museums dedicated to every conceivable subject, from bananas to Bigfoot, lawnmowers to leprechauns, teapots to tapeworms, mustard to moist towelettes, and pencils to penises. Many are serious collections housed in grand buildings, others are located in tiny premises and are open to visitors by appointment only, often the result of one person's crazy lifetime obsession. This book lists the world's 100 weirdest museums in order of quirkiness, encompassing such delights as The Museum of Witchcraft in Cornwall, a museum in Kentucky that houses 800 ventriloquists' dolls, the Museum of Bad Art in Massachusetts, the Paris Sewer Museum, the French Fry Museum in Bruges, the Museum of Contraception and Abortion in Vienna, the Salt and Pepper Shaker Museum in Tennessee, Japan's Momofuku Ando Instant Ramen Museum (quite possibly the world's only museum devoted to instant noodles), and the Kunstkamera in St Petersburg, home to Peter the Great's collection of oddities including deformed fetuses and the decapitated head of a love rival preserved in vinegar. After all, what holiday is complete until you have seen a 300-year-old decapitated human head in a jar?Each entry will include address, contact and admission details, so the next time you are in Berlin there is no excuse for missing out on a visit to the Currywurst Museum, the world's leading museum dedicated to sausages in hot ketchup.

Robinson

Making a Short Speech or Toast

Jackie Arnold
Authors:
Jackie Arnold

Most people are called upon to make a speech or toast at some point in their lives. This book will help the inexperienced speaker to stand up with confidence, and deliver a really effective speech or toast that is appropriate for the occasion. It also contains a variety of toasts and quotes to help those with more experience in public speaking.There are guidelines on how to prepare and deliver a mini speech, including tips on introducing humour and how to avoid embarrassing your audience with inappropriate material. A special section includes interesting quotes and toasts to insert into a wedding speech, whether it's by the best man or woman, bridegroom or father of the bride. A workbook section helps the reader with ideas for appropriate beginnings and endings to speeches. There is even an A-Z of sample toasts for all occasions including anniversaries, achievements, and business occasions; and for a range of subjects such as love, life, and friendship.

Corsair

The Goddess Pose

Michelle Goldberg
Authors:
Michelle Goldberg
Robinson

The Good, the Bad and the Wurst

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs
Robinson

Crap Kitchen

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs

The worst cookbook ever, packed with truly bizarre and utterly disgusting recipes from all over the worldEver since humankind produced its first foodie, the culinary world has dished up some staggering confections which could best be described as 'acquired tastes': dishes such as Virgin Boy Eggs (eggs soaked in the urine of prepubescent boys); live octopus, which clutches at the diner's tongue and throat as it is swallowed; and Beard Beer, made from the yeast found in facial hair.In northern Greenland, the Inuit are fond of cramming as many as 500 dead auks (small sea birds) into an old seal skin which they place under a large rock until the birds have fermented into what has rightly been described as a 'sticky, pungent, toxic, cheesy gloop'. Kiviak, as it is called, is eaten by biting off the birds' heads and sucking out the juices. The mighty Roman Empire was built on such delicacies as larks' tongues, stuffed thrush, boiled flamingo and grilled cow's womb, while the Tudors loved nothing more than a roast cockenthrice: the head and upper body of a pig carefully stitched onto the lower body and legs of a turkey.Today, for those with an adventurous mindset and a robust life insurance policy, there is no shortage of nauseating local delicacies to enjoy. In China, not only is tuna eyeball on the menu, but also yak penis (served whole). In Vietnam, one can enjoy the still-beating heart of a freshly-killed snake; in Iceland, raw puffin heart. In the Philippines, there is duck embryo to be had - like a Kinder Surprise . . . only containing a dead foetus instead of a toy. In Sardinia, they like nothing more than a nice bit of maggot-infested cheese; and the favourite tipple of Korean foodies is Ttongsul, a wine made from the fermented faeces of a child.Bon appetit!

Piatkus

Busy

Tony Crabbe
Authors:
Tony Crabbe

* One of Success magazine's Best Books of 2015 *It's difficult to ask anybody 'How are you?' without hearing the word 'busy' somewhere in their response. We feel overwhelmed by busyness because of the demands on our time: our inbox and our to-do list are bulging, a huge amount of people expect things from us and our organisations are trying to do more with fewer people. But it doesn't have to be that way. In reality, busyness isn't essential. Yes, there is a lot to do, but believing you're always busy because you have so much to do is both false and unhelpful. Busyness is a normal response to a world of too much, but it isn't the only response.In Busy Tony Crabbe draws on solid psychological research to address one of the great problems of modern life: we're too busy. But it isn't a time-management book. Rather than providing advice for increasing productivity and efficiency, it sets out four key strategies (corresponding to sections of the book) for thriving despite of the overload of too much:1. Mastery - to move beyond busyness you need to regain a sense of mastery over your life. This section shows you how to build a sense of control back into your life, take responsibility for making choices and how to set boundaries to protect you from the flood of demands and information.2. Focus - in a world of too much, success is not about doing more at work but about making an impact. This section outlines three ways to move to a career strategy that doesn't rely on productivity alone.3. Engagement - busyness can cause you to disengage from the people, values and activities that are important to us. This section provides you with the three keys to re-engaging with your work and life.4. Momentum - part of the challenge to moving beyond busyness is that even if you agree you should make the change, you're too busy to find the time and energy to do anything about it. This section is dedicated to helping you make the change, creating the impetus, energy and clarity to move to a life less busy.

Sphere

Sinatra

James Kaplan
Authors:
James Kaplan

Finally the definitive biography that Frank Sinatra, justly termed 'The Entertainer of the Century,' deserves and requires. Like Peter Guralnick on Elvis, Kaplan goes behind the legend to give us the man in full, in his many guises and aspects: peerless singer, (sometimes) powerful actor, business mogul, tireless lover and associate of the powerful and infamous.In 2010's Frank: The Voice, James Kaplan, in rich, distinctive, compulsively-readable prose, told the story of Frank Sinatra's meteoric rise to fame, subsequent failures, and reinvention as a star of the stage and screen. The story of 'Ol' Blue Eyes; continues with Sinatra: The Chairman, picking up the day after Frank claimed his Academy Award in 1954 and had reestablished himself as the top recording artist in music. Frank's life post-Oscar was incredibly dense: in between recording albums and singles, he often shot four or five movies a year; did TV show and nightclub appearances; started his own label, Reprise and juggled his considerable commercial ventures (movie production, the restaurant business, even prizefighter management) alongside his famous and sometimes notorious social activities and commitments.

Basic Books

Church of Spies

Mark Riebling
Authors:
Mark Riebling