Geoff Tibballs - The Mammoth Book of Jokes New edn - Little, Brown Book Group

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The Mammoth Book of Jokes New edn

By Geoff Tibballs

  • Paperback
  • £7.99

Quite simply, the greatest compendium of humour ever written! Over 7500 entries.

Quite simply, the greatest compendium of humour ever written!

Even bigger and better than ever, The Mammoth Book of Jokes is the ultimate joke book - now revised and expanded to over 7500 entries.

This endlessly entertaining collection covers everything you could ever think of, from Birthdays and Dogs to Mothers-in- Law and War. Plus epigrams, limericks, misprints and howlers, shaggy dog stories, politically incorrect jokes, toasts, pick-up lines and put-downs ....

Extra new material for this bumper edition includes favourite celebrity jokes - specially chosen by the likes of Bill Clinton, Gordon Ramsay, Dustin Hoffman and Tony Blair - as well as no fewer than 2000 brand new jokes.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781845293840
  • Publication date: 19 Oct 2006
  • Page count: 704
  • Imprint: Robinson
Abacus

Theft by Finding

David Sedaris
Authors:
David Sedaris

THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER 'He's like an American Alan Bennett, in that his own fastidiousness becomes the joke, as per the taxi encounter, or his diary entry about waiting interminably in a coffee-bar queue' Guardian review of An Evening with David Sedaris The point is to find out who you are and to be true to that person. Because so often you can't. Won't people turn away if they know the real me? you wonder. The me that hates my own child, that put my perfectly healthy dog to sleep? The me who thinks, deep down, that maybe The Wire was overrated? For nearly four decades, David Sedaris has faithfully kept a diary in which he records his thoughts and observations on the odd and funny events he witnesses. Anyone who has attended a live Sedaris event knows that his diary readings are often among the most joyful parts of the evening. But never before have they been available in print. Now, in Theft by Finding, Sedaris brings us his favorite entries. From the family home in Ralegh, North Carolina, we follow Sedaris as he sets out to make his way in the world. As an art student and then teacher in Chicago he works at a succession of very odd jobs, meeting even odder people, before moving to New York to pursue a career as a writer - where instead he very quickly lands a job in Macy's department store as an elf in Santaland... Tender, hilarious, illuminating, and endlessly captivating, Theft by Finding offers a rare look into the mind of one of our generation's greatest comic geniuses.

Abacus

Little Fires Everywhere

Celeste Ng
Authors:
Celeste Ng

'To say I love this book is an understatement...It moved me to tears' Reese Witherspoon'Just read it...Outstanding' Matt Haig Everyone in Shaker Heights was talking about it that summer: how Isabelle, the last of the Richardson children, had finally gone around the bend and burned the house down. In Shaker Heights, a placid, progressive suburb of Cleveland, everything is meticulously planned - from the layout of the winding roads, to the colours of the houses, to the successful lives its residents will go on to lead. And no one embodies this spirit more than Elena Richardson, whose guiding principle is playing by the rules.Enter Mia Warren - an enigmatic artist and single mother- who arrives in this idyllic bubble with her teenage daughter Pearl, and rents a house from the Richardsons. Soon Mia and Pearl become more than just tenants: all four Richardson children are drawn to the mother-daughter pair. But Mia carries with her a mysterious past, and a disregard for the rules that threatens to upend this carefully ordered community.When old family friends attempt to adopt a Chinese-American baby, a custody battle erupts that dramatically divides the town - and puts Mia and Elena on opposing sides. Suspicious of Mia and her motives, Elena is determined to uncover the secrets in Mia's past. But her obsession will come at an unexpected and devastating cost...What readers are saying:'Highly recommended, beautifully written and thought-provoking''An engrossing read' 'Absolutely brilliant''Great characters, interesting plot that leaves you desperate to read more and written beautifully. I loved it and highly recommend it!'

New Harbinger

The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook, 3rd Edition

Martin M. Antony, Richard Swinson
Authors:
Martin M. Antony, Richard Swinson

There's nothing wrong with being shy. But if shyness or social anxiety keeps you from building meaningful relationships with others, advancing in your education or career, or simply living your best life, The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook offers a comprehensive program to help you confront your fears and become actively involved in the world. If you are shy or socially anxious, you may dread going to parties, speaking in front of crowds or people you don't know, going to job interviews, and other critical life situations. You aren't alone. In fact, studies show that millions of people suffer from a social anxiety disorder. Unfortunately, you can't hide from some social situations-no matter how much you wish you could. But you don't have to go on suffering silently. The good news is there are proven-effective techniques you can start using right away to help ease your anxiety or shyness and start living the life you were meant to live: a life where fear doesn't get in the way of reaching your goals. This fully revised and updated third edition incorporates breakthrough new research and techniques for overcoming social phobia, including a new chapter on mindfulness-based treatments, updated information on medications, and an overview of treatment-enhancing technological advances. As you complete the activities in this workbook, you'll learn to find your strengths and weaknesses using self-evaluation, explore and examine your fears, create a personalized plan for change, and put your plan into action through gentle and gradual exposure to the very social situations that cause you to feel uneasy. After completing this program, you'll be well-equipped to make connections with the people around you. Soon, you'll be on your way to enjoying all the benefits of being actively involved in the social world. If you're ready to confront your fears to live an enjoyable, satisfying life, this new edition of The Shyness and SocialAnxiety Workbook offers a comprehensive program to help you get started. What are you waiting for? This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.

Robinson

The Mammoth Book of New Comic Quotes

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs

With over 3,500 entries, arranged by topic, fully indexed and up-to-date for the twenty-first century, here is a bumper new collection of witticisms and wisecracks. If you're looking for a quick quip to get the crowd on your side, struggling to put the finishing touches to a wedding speech or just want to cheer yourself and your mates up, this marvellous mammoth book provides all you'll ever need. Entries range from insults, put-downs, gags and one-liners to homespun philosophy, witty proverbs, movie quotes and graffiti. Among the contributors featured are Ricky Gervais, Sir Terry Pratchett, Tina Fey, Milton Jones, Russell Brand, Bill Bryson, Armando Iannucci, Stephen Fry, Jeremy Clarkson, Larry David, Grayson Perry, Germaine Greer, Will Ferrell and many more. Never be stuck for a good line again! 'Al Gore met with Donald Trump to discuss climate change. To try to explain it in terms Trump would understand, Gore said, "The planet is getting hotter than your daughter Ivanka."' Conan O'Brien'The only time it's cool to yell, "I have diarrhoea!" is when you're playing Scrabble.' Zach Galifianakis

Robinson

The World's 100 Weirdest Sporting Events

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs
Running Press Kids

A Charlie Brown Christmas Wrapping Paper Activity Book

Charles M. Schulz
Authors:
Charles M. Schulz
Sphere

An American Family

Khizr Khan
Authors:
Khizr Khan

'Khan's aspirational memoir reminds us all why Americans should welcome newcomers from all lands' Kirkus ReviewsIn fewer than three hundred words, Khizr Khan electrified viewers around the world when he took the stage at the 2016 Democratic National Convention. And when he offered to lend Donald Trump his own much-read and dog-eared pocket Constitution, his gesture perfectly encapsulated the feelings of millions. But who was that man, standing beside his wife, extolling the promises and virtues of the U.S. Constitution?In this urgent and timeless immigrant story, we learn that Khizr Khan has been many things. He was the oldest of ten children born to farmers in Pakistan, and a curious and thoughtful boy who listened rapt as his grandfather recited Rumi beneath the moonlight. He was a university student who read the Declaration of Independence and was awestruck by what might be possible in life. He was a hopeful suitor, trying to win the heart of a woman far out of his league. He was a brilliant and diligent young family man who worked two jobs to save enough money to put himself through Harvard Law School. He was a loving father who tragically lost his son, an Army captain killed while protecting his base camp in Iraq. He was and is a patriot, and a fierce advocate for the rights, dignities and values enshrined in the American system.An American Family shows us who Khizr Khan and millions of other American immigrants are, and why-especially in these tumultuous times-we must not be afraid to step forward for what we believe in when it matters most.

Hachette Australia

London Bound

C.J. Duggan
Authors:
C.J. Duggan

Like so many of her university friends, Kate Brown is London bound, but unlike her friends - who had the chance to enjoy the beer, sights and attractions of the UK - Kate is instead visiting her grandmother (who may or may not be the devil). Wanting nothing more than to be a normal, independent twenty-something living it up in ol' London town, Kate finds herself a prisoner in her grandmother's Kensington terrace, daydreaming about the holiday that could have been. But when Kate is almost run over by the ridiculously good looking Jack Baker, it leaves her wondering if being out and about is such a good idea after all, especially when she catches herself laughing at his jokes. One thing Kate knows for sure is that she has to avoid Jack at all costs. But with her balcony facing his, you can pretty much guarantee Kate's London adventure is going to be anything but boring . . . PRAISE FOR C.J. DUGGAN'S HEART OF THE CITY SERIES: 'Fun and sexy ... Cheeky leading lady, dashing love interest, family complications and a fun setting - this book does have it all.' - Fictional Thoughts on London Bound 'I'm really glad that I've discovered C.J. Duggan's novels - her writing is sassy and witty with strong female characters who are willing to take on anything, no holds barred.' - Sam Still Reading on New York Nights 'CJ continuously provides us with books that are easy to read and addictive, with exciting plots and characters you just can't help but love.' - Sweet Reading on Paris Lights 'A refreshing blend of sassy, sexy characters with an emotional backstory' - Scandalicious Book Reviews on New York Nights 'New York Nights is a light, fun read, perfect for a bubble bath with a drink of choice. It is reminiscent of a Cinderella fairy tale; only Cinderella is having serious doubts about the handsome prince.' - Queensland Reviewers Collective on New York Nights 'Great plot, interesting characters, secrets and romance, I didn't want it to end.'- Gems Book Nook on New York Nights 'Delightful read that I could not put down because of the banter between these two that made for really strong chemistry' - Book Magic on London Bound 'Laughs and tears, and a whole lot of sexual tension, Jack and Kate are just adorable and sweet and sexy' - BJ's Book Blog on London Bound 'Paris Lights is mischievous, enticing and [about] one young woman who is determined to embrace life.' - Diva Book Nerd on Paris Lights 'With a C.J. Duggan book, you know what you are getting - romance, adventure and that good fuzzy feeling at the end of it all.' - Hannah Plus Books

Running Press Adult

Kirk and Anne

Kirk Douglas, Anne Douglas
Authors:
Kirk Douglas, Anne Douglas

Kirk and Anne: Letters of Love, Laughter, and a Lifetime in Hollywood is the story of film legend and charismatic centenarian Kirk Douglas and his wife of sixty-two years, Anne Buydens. The lessons of a life well-lived and untold stories of their enduring love unfold through the couple's own candid commentary and a treasure trove of priceless letters from their personal archives. Painstakingly maintained by Anne over the course of more than six decades and never before made public, the correspondence includes candid details of their (often turbulent) courtship and marriage, set against the backdrop of Kirk's screen triumphs in films ranging from Lust For Life to Paths of Glory and Spartacus.Through the letters themselves and Kirk and Anne's words, never-before-told stories emerge about the legendary stars they knew so well: Lauren Bacall, Frank Sinatra, Burt Lancaster, Marlene Dietrich, Gregory Peck, Cole Porter, John Wayne, Tony Curtis, and son Michael Douglas; fascinating first-hand accounts of Hollywood film sets and dinner parties; exotic tales of travel to over forty countries as goodwill ambassadors. There are personal stories of presidents and first ladies (JFK and Jackie, LBJ and Lady Bird, Jimmy and Rosalyn Carter, Bill and Hillary Clinton and, "Ronnie" and Nancy Reagan), and powerful memories of both joy and sadness (Kirk's near-fatal helicopter crash, his astonishing recovery from a debilitating stroke, the tragic death of their youngest son). Complemented by dozens of previously unpublished photos, Kirk and Anne candidly details the adventurous, oftentimes comic, and poignant reality behind the glamour of a Hollywood life, as only a couple of sixty-two years (and counting) could tell it.

Piatkus

Red Teaming

Bryce G. Hoffman
Authors:
Bryce G. Hoffman
Robinson

Where am I Going and Can I Have a Map?

Jonathan Black
Authors:
Jonathan Black

'We will certainly be recommending the book to all our parents. It's quite simply the best available' - George Fussey, Head of Career Education, Eton College'One of the most practical and comprehensible career guides ever produced' - Baroness Gillian ShephardThis book will help you feel more empowered about your career. You can read it from beginning to end, or dive into specific sections for immediate advice on, for example, writing your CV. There are three sections:Stepping Back - What's this all about? The bigger issues that frame the whole area of your career and jobs; looking down on your career map from 10,000 feet. Practicalities - What do I do on Monday Morning? CVs, applications, interviews and all the other details on your map. Along the Way - Or, How do I Keep Going? How to cope with the hurdles and challenges that you might encounter while you're travelling along your route It includes an extensive set of real examples to bring it all alive, and is grounded with helpful statistics and sociological research.'Indispensable, inviting and engaging' - Prof Dame Carol Black, DBE, FRCP, FMedSci'A book about how to lead a happy life' - James Hodgson, Bedford School'A uniquely powerful guidebook' - Mark Byford, Egon Zehnder'The definitive careers guide' - David Palfreyman, OBE'Wise, calming and pragmatic' - Emma Jacobs, FT'A true career design compendium' - Caroline Konrad, Ryerson University'Winningly combines anecdotes, surveys and years of professional experience' - Dr Tim Hands, Winchester School'Elegant, light and humorous style' - Prof Dame Carol Black, DBE, FRCP, FMedSci'From an expert at the top of his game' - David Palfreyman, OBE

Robinson

100 Plants That Won't Die in Your Garden

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs
Constable

The Wish

Bill Griffin
Authors:
Bill Griffin

Uniquely the book will be published with 99 different covers, a selection of which can be seen here. Your cover will therefore be a surprise and we really hope that you like the one that you receive.Just over 1,000 days ago, Bill Griffin launched Crowdwish, a website and app with a single proposition - it simply asked people what three things they thought they wanted most. Wishes poured in from all over the world, with the site promising to take some form of meaningful action for the most up-voted wish every twenty-four hours. Wishes that have gained national press attention range from the assisting of a woman who wanted to find a half-decent boyfriend ('just not a dick basically'), duping Katie Hopkins into signing a gagging order and attaching a faux marble plinth to the offices of the Daily Mail.The Wish reviews 99 of the site's most popular wishes, and asks: what are the things we really want, how can we get closer to them and how much happier would we be if they were to come true? The result is a snapshot of the hopes, dreams and desires that unite us all, part reflection on a fascinating social experiment, part humorous rumination on the nature of happiness and part instruction manual for life.The Wish is funny, upbeat and genuinely helpful - each reader is invited to pick one wish from the book that resonates most with them, and email the author for help in making it happen.

Black Dog & Leventhal

The Presidents Fact Book

Roger Matuz
Authors:
Roger Matuz
Robinson

The World's 100 Weirdest Museums

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs
Robinson

Making a Short Speech or Toast

Jackie Arnold
Authors:
Jackie Arnold
Corsair

The Goddess Pose

Michelle Goldberg
Authors:
Michelle Goldberg

When the woman who would become Indra Devi was born in Russia in 1899, yoga was virtually unknown outside of India. By the time of her death, in 2002, it was being practiced everywhere, from Brooklyn to Berlin to Ulaanbaatar. In The Goddess Pose, New York Times best-selling author Michelle Goldberg traces the life of the incredible woman who brought yoga to the West and in so doing paints a sweeping picture of the twentieth century.Born into the minor aristocracy (as Eugenia Peterson), Devi grew up in the midst of one of the most turbulent times in human history. Forced to flee the Russian Revolution as a teenager, she joined a famous Berlin cabaret troupe, dove into the vibrant prewar spiritualist movement, and, at a time when it was nearly unthinkable for a young European woman to travel alone, followed the charismatic Theosophical leader Jiddu Krishnamurti to India. Once on the subcontinent, she performed in Indian silent cinema and hobnobbed with the leaders of the independence movement. But her greatest coup was convincing a recalcitrant master yogi to train her in the secrets of his art. Devi would go on to share what she learned with people around the world, teaching in Shanghai during World War II, then in Hollywood, where her students included Gloria Swanson and Greta Garbo. She ran a yoga school in Mexico during the height of the counterculture, served as spiritual adviser to the colonel who tried to overthrow Panamanian strongman Manuel Noriega, and, in her eighties, moved to Buenos Aires at the invitation of a besotted rock star. Everywhere she went, Indra Devi evangelized for yoga, ushering in a global craze that continues unabated. Written with vivid clarity, The Goddess Pose brings her remarkable story as an actress, yogi, and globetrotting adventuress to life.

Robinson

The Good, the Bad and the Wurst

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs

YES, IT'S EUROVISION TIME AGAIN! THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THE EUROVISION FAN IN YOUR LIFE!For 60 years the Eurovision Song Contest has existed in a parallel universe where a song about the construction of a hydro-electric power station is considered cutting-edge pop, where half a dozen warbling Russian grandmothers are considered Saturday night entertainment, where a tune repeating the word 'la' 138 times is considered a winner, and where Australia is considered part of Europe During those sixty years we have witnessed scandals: in 1957, Denmark's Birthe Wilke and Gustav Winckler enjoyed an outrageously long 13-second kiss because the stage manager forgot to say 'cut' during the live broadcast. We have witnessed national outrage: the 1976 Greek entry was a savage indictment of Turkish foreign policy in Cyprus. But most have all we have witnessed silly costumes, terrible lyrics and performers as diverse as Celine Dion and Dustin the Turkey.This book chronicles the 100 craziest moments in the history of Eurovision - the drag acts, the bad acts, the nul points heroes and the night in Luxembourg when the floor manager warned the audience not to stand up while they applauded because they might be shot by security forces. It captures some of the magic from this yearly event that continues to beguile and bemuse in equal measure.

Robinson

Crap Kitchen

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs

The worst cookbook ever, packed with truly bizarre and utterly disgusting recipes from all over the worldEver since humankind produced its first foodie, the culinary world has dished up some staggering confections which could best be described as 'acquired tastes': dishes such as Virgin Boy Eggs (eggs soaked in the urine of prepubescent boys); live octopus, which clutches at the diner's tongue and throat as it is swallowed; and Beard Beer, made from the yeast found in facial hair.In northern Greenland, the Inuit are fond of cramming as many as 500 dead auks (small sea birds) into an old seal skin which they place under a large rock until the birds have fermented into what has rightly been described as a 'sticky, pungent, toxic, cheesy gloop'. Kiviak, as it is called, is eaten by biting off the birds' heads and sucking out the juices. The mighty Roman Empire was built on such delicacies as larks' tongues, stuffed thrush, boiled flamingo and grilled cow's womb, while the Tudors loved nothing more than a roast cockenthrice: the head and upper body of a pig carefully stitched onto the lower body and legs of a turkey.Today, for those with an adventurous mindset and a robust life insurance policy, there is no shortage of nauseating local delicacies to enjoy. In China, not only is tuna eyeball on the menu, but also yak penis (served whole). In Vietnam, one can enjoy the still-beating heart of a freshly-killed snake; in Iceland, raw puffin heart. In the Philippines, there is duck embryo to be had - like a Kinder Surprise . . . only containing a dead foetus instead of a toy. In Sardinia, they like nothing more than a nice bit of maggot-infested cheese; and the favourite tipple of Korean foodies is Ttongsul, a wine made from the fermented faeces of a child.Bon appetit!

Sphere

Sinatra

James Kaplan
Authors:
James Kaplan