Tell Me What You Want
The Science of Sexual Desire and How it Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life
By Justin J. Lehmiller
A leading expert on human sexuality and author of the blog Sex and Psychology offers an unprecedented look at sexual fantasy based on the most comprehensive, scientific survey ever undertaken.
'Reading [Tell Me What You Want] may be the best thing you ever do for your sex life, your relationships and your self-acceptance' - Geoffrey Miller, author of The Mating Mind, Spent, and Mate
What do we really want when it comes to sex? How can we break the barriers that prevent us from communicating about our desires?
Justin J. Lehmiller, a leading expert on human sexuality and author of the popular blog Sex and Psychology, has made it his career's ambition to answer these questions.
Based on his monumental two-year study of sexual fantasies involving more than 4,000 people from all walks of life, Tell Me What You Want offers an unprecedented look into our fantasy worlds and what they reveal about us. It will help you to understand your own sexual desires and how to attain them within your relationships, but also to appreciate why your partner may have sexual proclivities that are so different from your own.
Appreciating the incredible diversity of human sexual desire and why this diversity exists in the first place can help you to overcome distress, anxiety and shame about your own sexual fantasies; ultimately enhancing your sex life. Breaking down barriers to discussing sexual fantasies and allowing them to become a part your sexual reality is the pathway to maintaining more satisfying relationships.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He is an award-winning educator, having been honoured three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. His writings have appeared in several major publications, including New York Magazine, VICE, Playboy, and Psychology Today. His book, The Psychology of Human Sexuality, is used in college classrooms around the world.
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- Publication date:
12 Jul 2018
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Tell Me What You Want provides a scientifically grounded, non-judgmental assessment of where things stand in the sexual lives and fantasies of Americans. With an open-minded approach and fluid prose, this book is highly recommended for anyone looking for a road-map of where American sexuality is at the moment, and where many Americans would like to be going soon — Christopher Ryan, PhD, co-author of the New York Times bestseller Sex at Dawn
Lehmiller's groundbreaking book points to an alarming divide between the conversations we're having about sex and the conversation we should be having about sex. It provides the nudge we need to change the conversation - and, in doing so, to live healthier, hotter lives — Eli J. Finkel, Professor of Psychology, Northwestern University
Most Americans have sexual fantasies about threesomes, group sex, bondage, domination, submission, forced sex, open relationships and sex toys. Yet most of us don't know this, and are too embarrassed to reveal what we really want to our partners. Lehmiller's smart, warm, sex-positive book breaks the toxic silence around our sexual fantasies. Reading it may be the best thing you ever do for your sex life, your relationships and your self-acceptance — Geoffrey Miller, author of The Mating Mind, Spent, and Mate
Have a deep, dark sex fantasy that you've never shared with anyone? Turns out, you're not alone. Most people are afraid their sex fantasies are abnormal, but Justin Lehmiller's newest book reveals that understanding your erotic imaginings, and sharing them with your sex partner might be the best, healthiest thing you do all year. Tell Me What You Want educates, titillates, thrills and guides us down a marvelous, sexy path that ends in acceptance of those naughty secrets in the basements of our minds — David J. Ley, PhD. author of The Myth of Sex Addiction
A penetrating, erotic X-ray into the hidden recesses of our sexual psyches. Illuminating and incisive, Lehmiller lays bare the gray matter of great sex. - Ian Kerner, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First