Justin J. Lehmiller - Tell Me What You Want - Little, Brown Book Group

Time remaining

  • -- days
  • -- hours
  • -- minutes
  • -- seconds
Other Formats
  • Paperback £14.99
    More information
    • ISBN:9781472142238
    • Publication date:12 Jul 2018

Tell Me What You Want

The Science of Sexual Desire and How it Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life

By Justin J. Lehmiller

  • E-Book
  • £P.O.R.

A leading expert on human sexuality and author of the blog Sex and Psychology offers an unprecedented look at sexual fantasy based on the most comprehensive, scientific survey ever undertaken.

'Reading [Tell Me What You Want] may be the best thing you ever do for your sex life, your relationships and your self-acceptance' - Geoffrey Miller, author of The Mating Mind, Spent, and Mate

What do we really want when it comes to sex? How can we break the barriers that prevent us from communicating about our desires?

Justin J. Lehmiller, a leading expert on human sexuality and author of the popular blog Sex and Psychology, has made it his career's ambition to answer these questions.

Based on his monumental two-year study of sexual fantasies involving more than 4,000 people from all walks of life, Tell Me What You Want offers an unprecedented look into our fantasy worlds and what they reveal about us. It will help you to understand your own sexual desires and how to attain them within your relationships, but also to appreciate why your partner may have sexual proclivities that are so different from your own.

Appreciating the incredible diversity of human sexual desire and why this diversity exists in the first place can help you to overcome distress, anxiety and shame about your own sexual fantasies; ultimately enhancing your sex life. Breaking down barriers to discussing sexual fantasies and allowing them to become a part your sexual reality is the pathway to maintaining more satisfying relationships.

Biographical Notes

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He is an award-winning educator, having been honoured three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. His writings have appeared in several major publications, including New York Magazine, VICE, Playboy, and Psychology Today. His book, The Psychology of Human Sexuality, is used in college classrooms around the world.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781472142214
  • Publication date: 12 Jul 2018
  • Page count:
  • Imprint: Robinson
Tell Me What You Want provides a scientifically grounded, non-judgmental assessment of where things stand in the sexual lives and fantasies of Americans. With an open-minded approach and fluid prose, this book is highly recommended for anyone looking for a road-map of where American sexuality is at the moment, and where many Americans would like to be going soon — Christopher Ryan, PhD, co-author of the New York Times bestseller Sex at Dawn
Lehmiller's groundbreaking book points to an alarming divide between the conversations we're having about sex and the conversation we should be having about sex. It provides the nudge we need to change the conversation - and, in doing so, to live healthier, hotter lives — Eli J. Finkel, Professor of Psychology, Northwestern University
Most Americans have sexual fantasies about threesomes, group sex, bondage, domination, submission, forced sex, open relationships and sex toys. Yet most of us don't know this, and are too embarrassed to reveal what we really want to our partners. Lehmiller's smart, warm, sex-positive book breaks the toxic silence around our sexual fantasies. Reading it may be the best thing you ever do for your sex life, your relationships and your self-acceptance — Geoffrey Miller, author of The Mating Mind, Spent, and Mate
Have a deep, dark sex fantasy that you've never shared with anyone? Turns out, you're not alone. Most people are afraid their sex fantasies are abnormal, but Justin Lehmiller's newest book reveals that understanding your erotic imaginings, and sharing them with your sex partner might be the best, healthiest thing you do all year. Tell Me What You Want educates, titillates, thrills and guides us down a marvelous, sexy path that ends in acceptance of those naughty secrets in the basements of our minds — David J. Ley, PhD. author of The Myth of Sex Addiction
A penetrating, erotic X-ray into the hidden recesses of our sexual psyches. Illuminating and incisive, Lehmiller lays bare the gray matter of great sex. - Ian Kerner, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First
Tell Me What You Want provides a scientifically grounded, non-judgmental assessment of where things stand in the sexual lives and fantasies of Americans. With an open-minded approach and fluid prose, this book is highly recommended for anyone looking for a road-map of where American sexuality is at the moment, and where many Americans would like to be going soon
Lehmiller's groundbreaking book points to an alarming divide between the conversations we're having about sex and the conversation we should be having about sex. It provides the nudge we need to change the conversation - and, in doing so, to live healthier, hotter lives
Most Americans have sexual fantasies about threesomes, group sex, bondage, domination, submission, forced sex, open relationships and sex toys. Yet most of us don't know this, and are too embarrassed to reveal what we really want to our partners. Lehmiller's smart, warm, sex-positive book breaks the toxic silence around our sexual fantasies. Reading it may be the best thing you ever do for your sex life, your relationships and your self-acceptance
Have a deep, dark sex fantasy that you've never shared with anyone? Turns out, you're not alone. Most people are afraid their sex fantasies are abnormal, but Justin Lehmiller's newest book reveals that understanding your erotic imaginings, and sharing them with your sex partner might be the best, healthiest thing you do all year. Tell Me What You Want educates, titillates, thrills and guides us down a marvelous, sexy path that ends in acceptance of those naughty secrets in the basements of our minds
A penetrating, erotic X-ray into the hidden recesses of our sexual psyches. Illuminating and incisive, Lehmiller lays bare the gray matter of great sex. - Ian Kerner, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First
Robinson

Helping Your Child with Sleep Problems

Rachel Hiller, Michael Gradisar
Authors:
Rachel Hiller, Michael Gradisar
Piatkus

Of Blood and Bone

Nora Roberts
Authors:
Nora Roberts
Orbit

Empire of Sand

Tasha Suri
Authors:
Tasha Suri

Mehr is a girl trapped between two cultures. Her father comes from the ruling classes of the empire but her mother's people were outcasts, Amrithi nomads who worshipped the spirits of the sands. Caught one night performing these forbidden rites, Mehr is brought to the attention of the Emperor's most feared mystics, who force her into their service by way of an arranged marriage. She discovers that her new husband is a mysterious, enslaved Amrithi with abilities like her own: together they must use every ounce of cunning, power and will they possess to resist the order's cruel agenda - and should they fail, the spirits themselves may awaken seeking vengeance...

Robinson

The Anxiety Epidemic

Graham Davey
Authors:
Graham Davey

Are we living in an age of unprecedented anxiety, or has this always been a problem throughout history?We only need look around us to see anxieties: in the family home, the workplace, on social media, and especially in the news. It's true that everyone feels anxious at some time in their lives, but we're told we're all feeling more anxious than we've ever been before - and for longer than we've ever done before. It's even reported that anxiety is a modern epidemic significant enough to challenge the dominance of depression as the most common mental health problem.Much of this increase has been attributed to changes in lifestyles that have led to more stress and pressure being placed on people: from childhood, to adolescence, to adulthood. But that's a big claim. Going back over the generations, how anxious were people in 1968 or 1818? Are people just anxious all the time - regardless of what they do or when they lived? Is anxiety an inevitable consequence of simply being alive?Graham Davey addresses many important questions about the role of anxiety. What is it good for? What are the unique modern-day causes of our anxieties and stresses? What turns normal everyday anxiety into the disabling disorders that many of us experience - distressing and debilitating conditions such as phobias, social anxiety, panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, pathological worrying and post-traumatic stress disorder? To truly conquer anxiety, we need to understand why it has established its prominent place in our modern world.

Piatkus

Year One

Nora Roberts
Authors:
Nora Roberts
Robinson

Rule Makers, Rule Breakers

Michele J. Gelfand
Authors:
Michele J. Gelfand

"A groundbreaking analysis of what used to be an impenetrable mystery: how and why do cultures differ? Gelfand shows that a wide range of divides of class, culture, and coalition are traceable to an intriguing source. Anyone interested in our cultural divides will find tremendous insight in Rule Makers, Rule Breakers." - Steven Pinker, Johnstone Professor of Psychology, Harvard University, and author of Enlightenment NowWhy are clocks in Germany always correct, while those in Brazil are frequently wrong? Why are Singaporeans jailed for selling gum? Why do women in New Zealand have three times the sex of females worldwide? Why was the Daimler-Chrysler merger ill-fated from the start? And why does each generation of Americans give their kids weirder and weirder names? Curious about the answers to these and other questions, award-winning social psychologist Michele Gelfand has spent two decades studying both tight societies (with clearly stated rules and codes of ethics) and loose societies (more informal communities with weak or ambiguous norms). Putting each under the microscope, she conducted research in more than fifty countries and collaborated with political scientists, neuroscientists, computer scientists, anthropologists, and archaeologists. Her fascinating conclusion: behaviour seems largely dependent on perceived threats. It's why certain nations seem predisposed to tangle with others; some American states identify as "Red" and others as "Blue"; and those attending a sports contest, health club, or school function behave in prescribed ways. Rule Makers, Rule Breakers reveals how to predict national variations around the globe, why some leaders innovate and others don't, and even how a tight vs. loose system can determine happiness. Consistently riveting and always illuminating, Michele Gelfand's book helps us understand how a single cultural trait dramatically affects even the smallest aspects of our lives."Fascinating and profound...It's quite possibly this year's best book on culture." Roy F. Baumeister, bestselling co-author of Willpower and author of The Cultural Animal"This brilliant book is full of well-documented insights that will change the way you look at yourself and at the world around you." Barry Schwartz, bestselling author of The Paradox of Choice, Practical Wisdom, and Why We Work

Piatkus

Oestrogen Matters

Dr Avrum Bluming, Carol Tavris PhD
Authors:
Dr Avrum Bluming, Carol Tavris PhD
Little, Brown US

Okay Fine Whatever

Courtenay Hameister
Authors:
Courtenay Hameister

The story of one chronically anxious woman's hilarious year-long quest to change her own timid nature by seeking out the kinds of experiences she's spent her life avoiding.During the nine years Courtenay Hameister hosted NPR's Live Wire, she lived in a state of near-constant dread and anxiety, and she didn't just fret about and fear her next radio show; she fretted about and feared everything. Until about a year ago, when she decided to take arms against a sea of anxieties and by opposing... maybe not end them, but at least become a little more adventurous, spontaneous, and comfortable in her own skin. OKAY FINE WHATEVER tells the story of Courtenay's year-long fight against her own nature, which took the form of pushing herself to try new things, things that scared her or made her uncomfortable, things that the average person might consider doing for a half-a-second before deciding: "nope." Things like: attending a fellatio class. She did that. She also spent an afternoon in a flotation tank, visited a sex club, went on 28 first dates, and got hypnotized. She had a session with a professional cuddler. She got high (legally) in the middle of a workday. And she came away with a lot of amusing and occasionally poignant stories about her adventures on the front lines of Mere Human Woman v. Fear. Refreshing, relatable, and very funny, OKAY FINE WHATEVER reminds us that "the tiniest amount of bravery is still bravery," and that it's possible to fight complacency and grow bolder a little at a time.

Robinson

Ten Minutes to Happiness

Sandi Mann
Authors:
Sandi Mann
Grand Central Publishing

Switch and Bait

Ricki Schultz
Authors:
Ricki Schultz
Da Capo Press

Infidelity

Kenneth Paul Rosenberg
Authors:
Kenneth Paul Rosenberg

What the latest science tells us about fidelity, infidelity, memory, the brain's reward systems, love, and sexIn both genders and across age groups, infidelity is on the rise. People often cheat in a haze of delusion, believing that it will bring them real love, help them have better sex, lift their spirits, and boost their sagging self-esteem; however, very often, cheating wrecks relationships and erodes self-esteem. Hundreds of people have sought Dr. Rosenberg's help as a psychiatrist to help them stop cheating and repair the damage caused by their affairs. In Infidelity: Why Men and Women Cheat, Dr. Rosenberg explains what draws men and women to cheat and what they can do about it. He explains the three types of cheating: emotional, virtual, and physical; why they're so prevalent; and how to survive when either you or your partner are drawn to stray. Infidelity takes an objective and evidence-based approach to why men and women today cheat, drawing from the latest research in neuroscience and from Rosenberg's own clinical practice to reveal the mechanics of the sexual brain. And through concrete rules, Rosenberg guides couples on how to prevent cheating, stop it from progressing, and repair the damage caused by an affair. Infidelity provides key insights that show a couple how to find their true sexual and romantic potential and advocates honesty, trust, and integrity - the fundamentals of love.

Little, Brown Young Readers US

Love & Other Carnivorous Plants

Florence Gonsalves
Authors:
Florence Gonsalves

A darkly funny debut for fans of Becky Albertalli, Matthew Quick, and Ned Vizzini about a nineteen-year-old girl who's consumed by love, grief, and the many-tentacled beast of self-destructive behavior.Freshman year at Harvard was the most anticlimactic year of Danny's life. She's failing pre-med and drifting apart from her best friend. One by one, Danny is losing all the underpinnings of her identity. When she finds herself attracted to an older, edgy girl who she met in rehab for an eating disorder, she finally feels like she might be finding a new sense of self. But when tragedy strikes, her self-destructive tendencies come back to haunt her as she struggles to discover who that self really is. With a starkly memorable voice that's at turns hilarious and heartbreaking, Love and Other Carnivorous Plants brilliantly captures the painful turning point between an adolescence that's slipping away and the overwhelming uncertainty of the future.

Grand Central Publishing

If We Had Known

Elise Juska
Authors:
Elise Juska

After a shooting in her local mall in rural New Hampshire, English professor Maggie Daley is surprised to learn the gunman was her former student, and chagrined when she finds an old essay offering clues to his violent nature she might have missed. Even as the tragedy begins to fade from the national consciousness, it takes up a larger and larger part of Maggie's attention and obsession--and it begins to disrupt her relationships with her anxiety-ridden daughter, her ex-husband, and her new lover. Meanwhile, both Maggie's employer and a determined blogger, separately, are digging into the shooter's troubled past. Feeling pressured from all sides, Maggie begins to fear that her culpability may extend past a simple sense of guilt and put the life she's built at risk. IF WE HAD KNOWN explores the private implications of public tragedies, how we navigate fear in today's world, and whether it's possible to see anyone--spouses, parents, students--as they truly are.

Little, Brown

The Incurable Romantic

Frank Tallis
Authors:
Frank Tallis

'Frank Tallis brings a lifetime's clinical experience and wise reflection to a condition that, by its own strange routes, leads us into the very heart of love itself. This is a brilliant, compelling book' Ian McEwanLove is a great leveller. Everyone wants love, everyone falls in love, everyone loses love, and everyone knows something of love's madness. But the experience of obsessive love is no trivial matter. In the course of his career psychologist Dr Frank Tallis has treated many unusual patients, whose stories have lessons for all of us.A barristers' clerk becomes convinced that her dentist has fallen in love with her and they are destined to be together for eternity; a widow is visited by the ghost of her dead husband; an academic is besotted with his own reflection; a beautiful woman searches jealously for a rival who isn't there; and a night porter is possessed by a lascivious demon. These are just some of the people whom we meet in an extraordinary and original book that explores the conditions of longing and desire - true accounts of psychotherapy that take the reader on a journey through the darker realms of the amorous mind.Drawing on the latest scientific research into the biological and psychological mechanisms underlying romance and emotional attachment, The Incurable Romantic demonstrates that ultimately love dissolves the divide between what we judge to be normal and abnormal.

Piatkus

The Happiness Dictionary

Tim Lomas
Authors:
Tim Lomas

Have you ever had a feeling that you couldn't quite describe, because no English word exists for it?Indeed, without such a word, it's difficult to remember or understand the feeling, and to talk about it with other people. This applies to all aspects of life, but most of all that most sought-after of feelings, happiness, where our ability to both experience and understand it is limited by the words at our disposal. However, all is not lost. Even if English has not created a word for a specific feeling, another language probably has. These are known as 'untranslatable' words, because they lack an exact equivalent in another language. By discovering and learning these words, the boundaries of our world expand accordingly. These words allow us to give voice to feelings that we've probably experienced, but have previously lacked the ability to conceptualise. They may even allow us to encounter new feelings that we hadn't previously been aware of or enjoyed.This book will introduce you to a wealth of untranslatable words relating to happiness, from languages across the world. Reading it will enrich not just your understanding of happiness, but also the way that you experience it.

Piatkus

Your Superstar Brain

Kaja Nordengen
Authors:
Kaja Nordengen

**THE INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER**'A brilliant book' - DagbladetWhy does the brain work the way it does? Can eating certain foods improve your memory? Can you activate the parts of the brain you don't use? Can you smile yourself to happiness? What is free will, and do we really possess it?These big questions, and many more, are investigated to uncover all the secrets of your most wondrous, mysterious and irreplaceable organ. Your brain makes you who you are - it is the root of your personality and intelligence. It learns languages, creates memories and interprets complex patterns. But it is also responsible for your bad decisions and it rewards addictive behaviours.In Your Superstar Brain, neuroscientist Dr Kaja Nordengen describes in mesmerising detail how the brain works - both how it's physically constructed with neurones, synapses and the cerebral cortex, but also how it functions on a more abstract level - everything from what happens when we fall in love to where we find our sense of self.Join Dr Kaja Nordengen on her fascinating journey through the many unexplored territories of the intricate human brain, and find out why your brain is truly a superstar.

Sphere

The Sex Issue

The Editors of Goop
Authors:
The Editors of Goop
Robinson

Blueprint

Lucy Maddox
Authors:
Lucy Maddox
Robinson

Mismatch

Ronald Giphart, Mark van Vugt
Authors:
Ronald Giphart, Mark van Vugt

Our brains evolved to solve the survival problems of our Stone Age ancestors, so when faced with modern day situations that are less extreme, they often encounter a mismatch. Our primitive brains put us on the wrong foot by responding to stimuli that - in prehistoric times - would have prompted behaviour that was beneficial. If you've ever felt an anxious fight or flight response to a presenting at a board meeting, equivalent to facing imminent death by sabre-toothed tiger, then you have experienced a mismatch.Mismatch is about the clash between our biology and our culture. It is about the dramatic contrast between the first few million years of human history - when humans lived as hunters and gatherers in small-scale societies - and the past twelve thousand years following the agricultural revolution which have led us to comfortable lives in a very different social structure. Has this rapid transition been good for us? How do we, using our primitive minds, try to survive in a modern information society that radically changes every ten years or so?Ronald Giphart and Mark van Vugt show that humans have changed their environment so drastically that the chances for mismatch have significantly increased, and these conflicts can have profound consequences.Reviewed through mismatch glasses, social, societal, and technological trends can be better understood, ranging from the popularity of Facebook and internet porn, to the desire for cosmetic surgery, to our attitudes towards refugees.Mismatches can also affect our physical and psychological well-being, in terms of our attitudes to happiness, physical exercise, choosing good leaders, or finding ways to feel better at home or work.Finally, Mismatch gives us an insight into politics and policy which could enable governments, institutions and businesses to create an environment better suited to human nature, its potential and its constraints.This book is about converting mismatches into matches. The better your life is matched to how your mind operates, the greater your chances of leading a happy, healthy and productive life.

Piatkus

Come Sundown

Nora Roberts
Authors:
Nora Roberts

Love. Lies. Murder. A lot can happen... COME SUNDOWNBodine Longbow loves to rise with the dawn. As the manager of her family's resort in Western Montana, there just aren't enough hours in the day - for life, for work, for loved ones. She certainly doesn't have time for love, not even in the gorgeous shape of her childhood crush Callen Skinner, all grown up and returned to the ranch. Then again, maybe Callen can change her mind, given time...But when a young woman's body is discovered on resort land, everything changes. Callen falls under the suspicion of a deputy sheriff with a grudge. And for Bodine's family, the murder is a shocking reminder of an old loss. Twenty-five years ago, Bodine's Aunt Alice vanished, never to be heard of again. Could this new tragedy be connected to Alice's mysterious disappearance? As events take a dramatic and deadly turn, Bodine and Callen must race to uncover the truth - before the sun sets on their future together.