David Sedaris - David Sedaris Live at Carnegie Hall - Little, Brown Book Group

Time remaining

  • -- days
  • -- hours
  • -- minutes
  • -- seconds

David Sedaris Live at Carnegie Hall

By David Sedaris
Read by David Sedaris

  • Downloadable audio file
  • £P.O.R.

David Sedaris, the No. 1 bestselling writer who Time named 'America's Favorite Humorist', reads this new round-up of personal essays - a surprising, disarming and heartbreakingly funny collection.

No one renders the pathos, chaos and impossible variety of daily encounters like David Sedaris. On every subject, he is bruisingly painful and tenderly affectionate. Recorded live on October 22, 2002, LIVE AT CARNEGIE HALL features excerpts from his forthcoming collection of essays, DRESS YOUR FAMILY IN CORDUROY AND DENIM.
Includes:
Thanks
Repeat After Me
Why Them?
Who's the Chef?
Buddy Can You Spare a Tie?
LessonThree: The Feminine Mistake
Lesson Four: With a Pal Like This, You Don't Need An Enemy
Six to Eight Black Men

Biographical Notes

Raised in North Carolina, David Sedaris has worked as a housecleaner and most famously, as a part-time elf for Macy's. He essays are featured regularly on BBC radio and in the New Yorker and Esquire. He moved recently from New York to live in France.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781405501651
  • Publication date: 13 Nov 2003
  • Page count:
  • Imprint: Hachette Audio
Little, Brown

Theft by Finding

David Sedaris
Authors:
David Sedaris
Hachette Audio

Meet David Sedaris: Series Five

David Sedaris
Authors:
David Sedaris
Little, Brown

Set Phasers to Stun

Marcus Berkmann
Authors:
Marcus Berkmann
Robinson

Crap Kitchen

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs

The worst cookbook ever, packed with truly bizarre and utterly disgusting recipes from all over the worldEver since humankind produced its first foodie, the culinary world has dished up some staggering confections which could best be described as 'acquired tastes': dishes such as Virgin Boy Eggs (eggs soaked in the urine of prepubescent boys); live octopus, which clutches at the diner's tongue and throat as it is swallowed; and Beard Beer, made from the yeast found in facial hair.In northern Greenland, the Inuit are fond of cramming as many as 500 dead auks (small sea birds) into an old seal skin which they place under a large rock until the birds have fermented into what has rightly been described as a 'sticky, pungent, toxic, cheesy gloop'. Kiviak, as it is called, is eaten by biting off the birds' heads and sucking out the juices. The mighty Roman Empire was built on such delicacies as larks' tongues, stuffed thrush, boiled flamingo and grilled cow's womb, while the Tudors loved nothing more than a roast cockenthrice: the head and upper body of a pig carefully stitched onto the lower body and legs of a turkey.Today, for those with an adventurous mindset and a robust life insurance policy, there is no shortage of nauseating local delicacies to enjoy. In China, not only is tuna eyeball on the menu, but also yak penis (served whole). In Vietnam, one can enjoy the still-beating heart of a freshly-killed snake; in Iceland, raw puffin heart. In the Philippines, there is duck embryo to be had - like a Kinder Surprise . . . only containing a dead foetus instead of a toy. In Sardinia, they like nothing more than a nice bit of maggot-infested cheese; and the favourite tipple of Korean foodies is Ttongsul, a wine made from the fermented faeces of a child.Bon appetit!

Constable

The Teenager Who Came to Tea

Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd, Gillian Johnson
Contributors:
Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd, Gillian Johnson

But the teenager didn't take just one Pringle. He took a selfie of himself pouring a whole tube of them into his mouth, before sending it to his best mate, along with the letters LOL!The bestselling authors of We're Going on a Bar Hunt and The Very Hungover Caterpillar bring you another hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book, this time turning the spotlight not only on modern teens, but firmly on their parents too.When the doorbell rings, just as Sophie and her Dad are sitting down for their tea, they're half-expecting a visit from a tiger, but what slouches in through their doorway is even more curious than that... a teenager.A perfect read for anyone who remembers the original, or has ever been a teenager or is the parent of a teenager today.

Constable

Mr Key's Shorter Potted Brief, Brief Lives

Frank Key
Authors:
Frank Key

Wesley, Samuel (British clergyman and poet, 1662 - 1735). On Christmas Day 1716, Wesley was haunted by an apparition of a badger with no head. It was called Jeffrey.Frank writes: "It occurred to me that it would be a good idea to write a modern, updated version of John Aubrey's Brief Lives. But it further occurred to me that some books are unimproveable, and that in trying to follow in Aubrey's footsteps I would embarrass myself and become the butt of ridicule. The idea continued to nag at me, however, and eventually I decided the solution was to outdo Aubrey in brevity. My own Brief Lives would consist of a single, unadorned fact about each of my subjects. So the reader may not learn very much about the life of X or Y or Z, but they would be armed with one little nugget which might come in handy to chuck into a lull during the conversation at the kind of swish sophisticated cocktail party to which they no doubt get invited."Other entries include: Gibson, Willie (Irish, 2nd Baron Ashbourne, 1868 - 1942). An enthusiastic Gaelic nationalist, Gibson was rumoured to keep a tortoise in his sporran. Harmsworth, Alfred, Lord Northcliffe (British newspaper magnate, 1865 - 1922). One day at a seaside resort, Northcliffe wantonly struck down a seagull with his stick and beat it to death on the sand. Jansson, Tove (Finnish writer and illustrator, 1914 - 2001). When staying at her Finnish island retreat, it was Tove Jansson's practice to get out of bed at four o' clock in the morning and stand stock still, pretending to be a tree, while a squirrel ran up and down her frozen limbs. Lennon, John (British musician, 1940 - 1980). According to Bernard Levin (q.v.), "there is nothing wrong with John Lennon that could not be cured by standing him upside down and shaking him gently until whatever is inside his head falls out". Stein, Gertrude (American writer, 1874 - 1946). Stein liked to write while looking at cows. She and Alice B Toklas would drive around until they found a suitable spot, then Stein would sit on a campstool armed with pad and pencil, while Toklas coaxed a cow into her line of vision.Nixon, Richard Milhous (American politician and Potus, 1913 - 1994) Nixon's favourite pastime was mashing potatoes.Schubert, Franz (Austrian composer, 1797 - 1828). Upon his deathbed, Schubert's final wish was that someone would bring him some books by James Fenimore Cooper.Tippett, Michael (British composer, 1905 - 1998). Tippett called the refrigerator in his kitchen "Bernard Levin".Anderson, John Henry (British magician, 1814 - 1874). The first magician to pull a rabbit out of a hat, Anderson also did a trick which he described as "a Grand Ambidexterological Illusion with 12 Handkerchiefs, into which will be introduced the Enchanted Loaf and Learned Bottle, the Animated Orange and the Invisible Pigeon".Brooke, Charles (British, Rajah of Sarawak, 1829 - 1917). An austere character, Brooke deemed jam "effeminate" and replaced his glass eye with one taken from a stuffed albatross.Callaghan, James (British politician and Prime Minister, 1912 - 2005). When Tom Driberg married Ena Binfield in 1951, Callaghan gave them as a wedding present four ashtrays, two of which were broken.Russell, Ken (British film director, 1927 - 2011). According to Glenda Jackson, the only direction Russell ever gave to his actors was to say "It needs to be a bit more . urrrgh", or "a bit less hmmm".

Constable

Switch It Off

Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd
Authors:
Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd
Constable

They Laughed at Galileo

Albert Jack
Authors:
Albert Jack

From the wireless to the computer, and from hula hoops to interplanetary travel, inventions and discoveries have changed our lifestyles in ways that would have astounded our ancestors. Each of them was originally developed by visionaries who dreamt of the seemingly impossible, but who were opposed by an array of experts publicly declaring that 'It cannot be done.' Well, yes it could . . . And here's the story of how those dreamers overcame the odds against them.

Constable

The Lunatics Have Taken Over the Asylum

Ian Hollingshead
Authors:
Ian Hollingshead
Hachette Audio

Meet David Sedaris: Series Four

David Sedaris
Authors:
David Sedaris
Sphere

Tinder Fails

Tom Phillips
Authors:
Tom Phillips

Online dating was supposed to make life easier, to help us bypass cheesy chat-up lines and avoid those awkward getting-to-know-you chats. But thanks to Tinder, the world's favourite dating app, you can now be horrified by lewd come-ons, cringe at incompetent smalltalk and wonder at what some people think passes for 'banter' in the comfort of your own home! Isn't technology great?Featuring some of the most awkward, embarrassing and outright insane Tinder conversations ever committed to smartphone, this is an essential - and entertaining - guide to how NOT to use Tinder.

Robinson

The Mammoth Book of Tasteless and Outrageous Lists

Karl Shaw
Authors:
Karl Shaw

Prepare to be even more revolted, flabbergasted, appalled and entertained by this incredible follow-up collection of bizarre but absolutely true trivia. Nothing is too distasteful for this astonishing compendium, including scores of eclectic lists to amuse, astonish and appal your friends.Entries include:10 Road-kill RecipesHistory's 10 Most Murderous Regimes10 Historic Sex Toys10 People who Married Their Nieces10 Deaths by Sex10 People Killed by Falling Animals 10 Ancient Remedies Containing Body Parts10 Flatalogical Facts8 Most Violent National Anthems15 Premature Obituaries10 Unusual Royal Deaths10 Cruel and Unusual Punishments10 Notable Executions12 Elizabethan Insults

Constable

F**k You And Goodbye

Matt Potter
Authors:
Matt Potter
Constable

The Very Hungover Caterpillar

Emlyn Rees
Authors:
Emlyn Rees
Constable

How to Teach your Dog to Drive

Mike Haskins
Authors:
Mike Haskins

Is your eyesight failing, are you not very good at driving yourself or are you simply blind drunk? These are just a few of the reasons why it would make perfect sense to teach your dog to be your new chauffeur. Here, for the first time, is a complete guide: how to get your dog acquainted with the controls, which breeds are the safest drivers, frequently asked questions; and how to get your dog successfully through their tests.Never again need you wait for a taxi, or make that long motorway drive unassisted. If you are a dog owner and a car owner, then How to Teach Your Dog to Drive will be the most useful book you buy this year, or even this decade . . .

Constable

The Lost Sock

Gillian Johnson
Authors:
Gillian Johnson

When a man loses one of his favourite pair of socks at the laundromat, he sets out on a quest to find out what happens to lost socks, and why every sock drawer contains a plethora of single socks. On his eventful journey, he discovers why you always lose the sock you love, visits a sockiatrist who teaches him about the Planet of Lost Socks, and eventually finds his perfect partner at a puppet show. A wryly sweet story of love, loss and destiny.

Constable

Something Nasty in the Slushpile

Sammy Looker
Authors:
Sammy Looker
Sphere

Great Lost Albums

Mark Billingham, David Quantick, Martyn Waites, Stav Sherez
Authors:
Mark Billingham, David Quantick, Martyn Waites, Stav Sherez
Robinson

The Mammoth Book of Losers

Karl Shaw
Authors:
Karl Shaw

This compendious celebration of ineptitude includes some of history's most spectacularly ill-conceived expeditions and entirely useless pursuits, and features tales of black comedy, insane foolhardiness, breathtaking stupidity and relentless perseverance in the face of inevitable defeat. It rejoices in men and women made of the Wrong Stuff: writers who believed in the power of words, but could never quite find the rights ones; artists and performers who indulged their creative impulse with a passion, if not a sense of the ridiculous, an eye for perspective or the ability to hold down a tune; scientists and businessmen who never quite managed to quit while they were ahead; and sportsmen who seemed to manage always to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Like Walter Oudney, one of three men chosen to find the source of the River Niger in Africa, who could not ride a horse, nor speak any foreign languages and who had never travelled more than 30 miles beyond his native Edinburgh; or the explorer-priest Michel Alexandre de Baize, who set off to explore the African continent from east to west equipped with 24 umbrellas, some fireworks, two suits of armor, and a portable organ; or the Scottish army which decided to invade England in 1349 - during the Black Death. Entries include: briefest career in dentistry; least successful bonding exercise; most futile attempt to find a lost tribe; most pointless lines of research by someone who should have known better; least successful celebrity endorsement; least convincing excuse for a war; worst poetic tribute to a root vegetable; least successful display of impartiality by a juror; Devon Loch - sporting metaphor for blowing un unblowable lead; least dignified exit from office by a French president; and least successful expedition by camel.

Constable

Wow I'm A Genieous!!!!

Mike Haskins
Authors:
Mike Haskins

A hilarious collection of the weirdest, stupidest and most outrageous things ever said on the internet on sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Ebay, Amazon, YouTube and even in good old-fashioned emails. Years ago if you said or did something stupid or embarrassing, it would have remained relatively private and have would soon been forgotten. Now thanks to advances in technology every cringe-making remark that we make online is preserved not only for the rest of eternity but is also instantly available for all the world to see! Wow! I'm a Genieous! presents an irresistible collection of ill-thought out comments, opinions, online disputes and sheer unashamed ignorance.So join us as we find the people who put the twit in Twitter and the mess in instant message. Contents include: Stupid Questions and Stupid Answers: e.g. "Does anyone know Obama's last name?" "Are there any lakes in the Lake District?" Angry Outbursts: Furious, insane or wildly over the top comments from You Tube etc Harrods it ain't - buying and selling on the internet: "I won a filthy Powerbook 540 which took about one month to arrive. The seller clearly used rubbish from their bin to pack the box; complete with McDonalds wrappers with old french fries and lettuce!" Observations To Leave You Speechless: "Does it rain in Australia? Because it's the other side of the world doesn't the rain just fall away into space?", "The Olympics has been going three thousand years?! We're only up to 2012!" "I like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur." Reviews from Hell: "The beach was too sandy and there were too many fish in the sea...", "We went on holiday to Spain and had problems with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish" Online Slip Ups: Internet-based disasters e.g. the school headmaster who asked his bursar to reply to a complaint from an old lady by telling her to "get stuffed" but accidentally copied her in on the message Communication Problems: Extraordinary spelling mistakes and terrible grammar e.g. "nothing more fun than wachting sex and city and raping Christmas pressants", "Why is the USA bombin Labia?" People Who Really Don't Deserve Our Money: e.g. An email from a Euromillions winner promising you a share of their win. As if!