Kate Figes - Our Cheating Hearts - Little, Brown Book Group

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    • ISBN:9781844087297
    • Publication date:03 Jul 2014

Our Cheating Hearts

Love and Loyalty, Lust and Lies

By Kate Figes

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Kate Figes, whose last book Couples drew back the curtain on relationships, now turns her gaze to a subject that will fascinate many - a riveting, revealing and shocking book on infidelity.

By the author known and respected for her acclaimed books on relationships.

Most of us manage to be monogamous, most of the time, but who cannot imagine themselves committing the 'crime' of adultery? Does being 'faithful' mean the same to everyone? Why DO people have affairs?


Using real life testimony alongside the most current research, Our Cheating Hearts looks at the big questions around love and commitment. It lifts taboos, asks the tough questions and shows how in our progressive time monogamy has become the new ideal.


Some people manage monogamy. For the countless others that don't, Our Cheating Hearts opens the debate and provides the honest approach that's essential.

Biographical Notes

Kate Figes is the author of four previous works of non-fiction: The Big Fat Bitch Book, Life After Birth, The Terrible Teens - What Every Parent Needs to Know and, most recently, Couples: How We Make Love Last, as well as two novels.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9780748126194
  • Publication date: 09 May 2013
  • Page count:
  • Imprint: Virago
Virago

On Smaller Dogs and Larger Life Questions

Kate Figes
Authors:
Kate Figes

Coming up to her sixtieth birthday, Kate Figes found herself turning to the larger questions of family, love and life's meaning. It is like this author to examine different stages in writing, and her books - from new motherhood and adolescence to coupledom and infidelity - testify to this way of understanding herself and others: so naturally she turned to writing to explore the challenges of becoming sixty. And then - a horrible, and sudden diagnosis of breast cancer which had metastasised.Instead of a gentle journey into middle age, Kate Figes began to write for her life. Now, clawing back confidence and control was not just the ordinary business of these years: it was the only way to try and survive great pain and emotional turmoil. As her writing became an honest reflection on ageing, failing, regrets and the importance of childhood memory, friends, family and love she found a new determination to live to the full and about finding ways to face up to a shortened life expectancy with dignity.Original, passionate, funny and moving, On Smaller Dogs and Larger Life Questions will resonate with anyone dealing with the many griefs and freedoms of midlife. It is about living with a life-threatening disease but it is even more: an intelligent and passionate look at the way we can approach disappointment and trouble, friendship and love - every day.

New Harbinger

Learning ACT, 2nd Edition

Jason B. Luoma, Steven C. Hayes, Robyn D. Walser
Authors:
Jason B. Luoma, Steven C. Hayes, Robyn D. Walser

Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is among the most remarkable developments in contemporary psychotherapy. This second edition of the pioneering ACT skills-training manual for clinicians provides a comprehensive update-essential for both experienced practitioners and those new to using ACT and its applications.ACT is a proven-effective treatment for numerous mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, stress, addictions, eating disorders, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, and more. With important revisions based on new developments in contextual behavioral science, Learning ACT, Second Edition includes up-to-date exercises and references, as well as material on traditional, evidence-based behavioral techniques for use within the ACT framework.In this fully revised and updated edition of Learning ACT, you'll find workbook-format exercises to help you understand and take advantage of ACT's unique six process model-both as a tool for diagnosis and case conceptualization, and as a basis for structuring treatments for clients. You'll also find up-to-the minute information on process coaching, new experiential exercises, an increased focus on functional analysis, and downloadable extras that include role played examples of the core ACT processes in action. By practicing the exercises in this workbook, you'll learn how this powerful modality can improve clients' psychological flexibility and help them to live better lives.Whether you're a clinician looking for in-depth training and better treatment outcomes for individual clients, a student seeking a better understanding of this powerful modality, or anyone interested in contextual behavioral science, this second edition provides a comprehensive revision to an important ACT resource.

Robinson

The Science of Boredom

Sandi Mann
Authors:
Sandi Mann

Are we living in an age where we are more boredom-prone? Or are other people boring us? Or could we be that boring person?! In our current information age, we are constantly connected to technology, and have so many varied ways to spend our leisure time that we should all surely never know what boredom feels like. Yet, boredom appears to be on the rise; it seems that the more we have to stimulate us, the more stimulation we crave. In a quest to relieve our boredom, we engage in dangerous risk-taking - from extreme sports to drugs to gambling to anti-social behaviour, or we overindulge in shopping or eating. The Science of Boredom explores the causes and consequences of boredom in the fast-paced twenty-first century. Parents are desperate to keep their children entertained during every waking moment, the education system is geared towards interactivity, and attention spans are dropping as we use multiple devices at all times. But the world of work can be increasingly repetitive and routine, and we are losing the ability to tolerate this everyday tedium. Using Sandi Mann's own ground-breaking research into boredom, this book tells the story of how we act, react and cope when we are bored, and argues that there is a positive side to boredom. It can be a catalyst for humour, fun, reflection, creativity and inspiration. The radical solution to the 'boredom problem' is to harness it rather than try to avoid it. Allowing yourself time away from constant stimuli can enrich your life. We should all embrace our boredom and see the upside of our downtime.

New Harbinger

Metaphor in Practice

Niklas Törneke
Authors:
Niklas Törneke

The use of metaphor is central to the implementation of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and is a powerful tool for all practicing psychotherapists. In Metaphor in Practice, psychotherapist Niklas Törneke presents the first practical book to combine the behavioral and linguistic sciences of metaphor, and illustrates how and when to apply metaphors in practice for better treatment outcomes.The use of metaphors and experiential exercises can help clients gain a deeper understanding of the problems that cause their disorders. Metaphors help clients connect with their values, and often spark the inspiration and motivation needed to make a commitment to change. And while metaphor is central to relational frame theory (RFT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), research now shows its usefulness has an even broader reach.In this book, you'll find a scientific analysis of metaphor based on over thirty years of research, as well as trends in research over the last ten years. The book includes an overview of RFT, how metaphor has influenced the community of behavior analysis, as well as available clinical research on metaphor use. You'll also discover how to create metaphors for functional analysis, distance of observation, and things that matter to your client. Most importantly, you'll find practical examples of metaphors and clinical exercises you can use in-session.

Basic Books

The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, 3rd Edition

Bruce D. Perry, Maia Szalavitz
Authors:
Bruce D. Perry, Maia Szalavitz

What happens when a young child is traumatized? How does terror affect a child's mind-and how can that mind recover? Child psychiatrist Bruce Perry has treated children faced with unimaginable horror: homicide survivors, witnesses to their own parents' murders, children raised in closets and cages, the Branch Davidian children, and victims of extreme neglect and family violence. In The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, Dr. Perry tells their stories of trauma and transformation. He explains what happens to the brain when children are exposed to extreme stress and trauma and reveals his innovative (non-medicinal) methods for helping to ease their pain and allowing them to become healthy adults. In this deeply informed and moving book, Perry shares with the reader the lessons of courage, humanity and hope he learned from these scarred children. He dramatically demonstrates that only when we understand the science of the mind and the power of love and nurturing, can we hope to heal the spirit of even the most wounded child.

Basic Books

EMDR

Francine Shapiro, Margot Silk Forrest
Authors:
Francine Shapiro, Margot Silk Forrest

When EMDR was first published in 1997, it was hailed as the most important method to emerge in psychotherapy in decades. In the twenty years since, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy has successfully treated psychological problems for millions of sufferers worldwide. In this updated edition, Francine Shapiro offers a new introduction that presents the latest applications of this remarkable therapy, as well as new scientific data demonstrating its efficacy. Drawing on the experiences of thousands of clinicians as well as a vast research literature on depression, addiction, PTSD, and other disorders, she explains how life experiences are physically stored in our brains, making us feel and act in harmful ways, and how EMDR therapy can bring relief, often in a remarkably short period of time. Applicable to survivors of trauma as well as people suffering from phobias and other experience-based disorders, EMDR is essential reading for anyone who seeks to understand why we hurt, how we heal, and how we get better.

PublicAffairs

The Biology of Desire

Marc Lewis
Authors:
Marc Lewis

Through the vivid, true stories of five people who journeyed into and out of addiction, a renowned neuroscientist explains why the "disease model" of addiction is wrong and illuminates the path to recovery.The psychiatric establishment and rehab industry in the Western world have branded addiction a brain disease, based on evidence that brains change with drug use. But in The Biology of Desire , cognitive neuroscientist and former addict Marc Lewis makes a convincing case that addiction is not a disease, and shows why the disease model has become an obstacle to healing.Lewis reveals addiction as an unintended consequence of the brain doing what it's supposed to do-seek pleasure and relief-in a world that's not cooperating. Brains are designed to restructure themselves with normal learning and development, but this process is accelerated in addiction when highly attractive rewards are pursued repeatedly. Lewis shows why treatment based on the disease model so often fails, and how treatment can be retooled to achieve lasting recovery, given the realities of brain plasticity. Combining intimate human stories with clearly rendered scientific explanation, The Biology of Desire is enlightening and optimistic reading for anyone who has wrestled with addiction either personally or professionally.

Basic Books

Boys Adrift

Leonard Sax
Authors:
Leonard Sax
Da Capo Lifelong Books

Body of Truth

Harriet Brown
Authors:
Harriet Brown
Robinson

ACTivate Your Life

Joe Oliver, Jon Hill, Eric Morris
Authors:
Joe Oliver, Jon Hill, Eric Morris

ACTivate Your Life focuses on helping people to be more open, connected and engaged with their lives, demonstrating how Acceptance Commitment Therapy can be used to tackle a range of problems such as low self-esteem, anxiety, anger and depression, as well as providing skills for life enhancement and self-development. Readers are encouraged to consider what matters to them and will learn techniques to set life directions based on meaningful values. Readers will also be introduced to mindfulness and learn how to use it in everyday life to connect with their actions, experiences and the people around them. The ACT approach also teaches that it's a normal part of being human to have thoughts and feelings that are unpleasant and the most important thing is to respond effectively when these kinds of experiences arise. The book is aimed at anyone wanting to enhance their life skills, and character stories are used to demonstrate the spectrum of how they might be employed.

PublicAffairs

Me, Myself, and Us

Brian R Little
Authors:
Brian R Little

How does your personality shape your life , and what, if anything, can you do about it?Are you hardwired for happiness, or born to brood? Do you think you're in charge of your future, or do you surf the waves of unknowable fate? Would you be happier, or just less socially adept, if you were less concerned about what other people thought of you? And what about your Type A" spouse: is he or she destined to have a heart attack, or just drive you to drink?In the past few decades, new scientific research has transformed old ideas about the nature of human personality. Neuroscientists, biologists, and psychological scientists have reexamined the theories of Freud and Jung as well as the humanistic psychologies of the 1960s, upending the simplistic categorizations of personality types," and developing new tools and methods for exploring who we are. Renowned professor and pioneering research psychologist Brian R. Little has been at the leading edge of this new science. In this wise and witty book he shares a wealth of new data and provocative insights about who we are, why we act the way we do, what we can,and can't,change, and how we can best thrive in light of our nature." Me, Myself, and Us explores questions that are rooted in the origins of human consciousness but are as commonplace as yesterday's breakfast conversation, such as whether our personality traits are set" by age thirty or whether our brains and selves are more plastic. He considers what our personalities portend for our health and success, and the extent to which our well-being depends on the personal projects we pursue.Through stories, studies, personal experiences, and entertaining interactive assessments, Me, Myself, and Us provides a lively, thought-provoking, and ultimately optimistic look at the possibilities and perils of being uniquely ourselves, while illuminating the selves of the familiar strangers we encounter, work with, and love.

Da Capo Lifelong Books

Mindfulness, 25th anniversary edition

Ellen J. Langer
Authors:
Ellen J. Langer

In the years since it was first published, this influential book based on the highly innovative findings of social psychologist Dr. Ellen J. Langer and her team of researchers at Harvard made its mark for its unique concept of mindfulness, thoroughly adapted to contemporary life in the West. Langer's theory has been applied to a wide number of fields, including health, business, aging, prejudice, and learning. There is now a new psychological assessment based on her work (called the Langer Mindfulness Scale) as well as an institute in Mexico founded to apply the concepts of mindfulness to health and wellness. In her introduction to this 25th anniversary edition, Dr. Langer outlines some of these exciting applications and suggests those still to come.

Basic Books

The Tell

Matthew Hertenstein
Authors:
Matthew Hertenstein
Virago

Couples

Kate Figes
Authors:
Kate Figes

These days, many of us enjoy unrivalled freedom and equality when it comes to choosing and building a relationship. Yet new myths about how to live and love compromise that happiness.Kate Figes argues that, whether married or cohabiting, gay or straight, remarried or a couple living apart, the quality of our intimate relationship is fundamental to our long-term health and happiness, because our need for commitment and love hasn't changed.This is not a handbook. There are no easy 'Mars and Venus' universal recipes for success, because relationships are far too complicated, individual and important for easy answers. But learning how others sustain lifelong love, and what really goes on in other people's lives can help us to understand our own partnerships and take responsibility for making them work. Couples is an incisive and important look at how we can learn to make love endure.

Basic Books

Scared Sick

Meredith S. Wiley, Robin Karr-Morse
Authors:
Meredith S. Wiley, Robin Karr-Morse

The first years of human life are more important than we ever realized. In Scared Sick , Robin Karr-Morse connects psychology, neurobiology, endocrinology, immunology, and genetics to demonstrate how chronic fear in infancy and early childhood, when we are most helpless,lies at the root of common diseases in adulthood. Compassionate and based on the latest research, Scared Sick will unveil a major public health crisis. Highlighting case studies and cutting-edge scientific findings, Karr- Morse shows how our innate fight-or-flight system can injure us if overworked in the early stages of life. Persistent stress can trigger diabetes, heart disease, obesity, depression, and addiction later on.

Da Capo Lifelong Books

The Power of Neurodiversity

Thomas Armstrong
Authors:
Thomas Armstrong

ADHD. dyslexia. autism. the number of illness categories listed by the American Psychiatric Association has tripled in the last fifty years. With so many people affected, it is time to revisit our perceptions on this "culture of disabilities." Bestselling author, psychologist, and educator Thomas Armstrong illuminates a new understanding of neuropsychological disorders. He argues that if they are a part of the natural diversity of the human brain, they cannot simply be defined as illnesses. Armstrong explores the evolutionary advantages, special skills, and other positive dimensions of these conditions. A manifesto as well as a keenly intelligent look at "disability," The Power of Neurodiversity is a must for parents, teachers, and anyone who is "differently brained."

New Harbinger

Mind and Emotions

Matthew McKay
Authors:
Matthew McKay

Mind and Emotions is a revolutionary universal treatment program for all emotional disorders that helps you discover which of the seven problematic coping styles is keeping you trapped in a cycle of emotional pain. Instead of working on difficulties like anxiety, anger, shame, and depression one by one, you ll treat the root of all your emotional suffering at once. Drawing on evidence-based skills from cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, and dialectical behavior therapy, this workbook offers all the techniques you need to manage unwelcome feelings in effective and productive ways.Learn and practice the most effective coping skills:Clarifying and acting on your core valuesMindfulness and acceptanceDetaching from negative thoughtsSelf-soothing and relaxation exercisesAssertiveness and interpersonal skillsGradually facing your strong emotions

Piatkus

Staring At The Sun

Irvin D. Yalom
Authors:
Irvin D. Yalom
Da Capo Lifelong Books

How to Love

Gordon Livingston
Authors:
Gordon Livingston
Virago

The Big Fat Bitch Book

Kate Figes
Authors:
Kate Figes

Why do women excel at bitching? And are there ways to do it well?In this unique and entertaining book, Kate Figes explores girltalk, the way bitching erupts amongst teenage girls, the tenacity of female stereotypes as well as essential guidance on being the best kind of bitch - strong and self-assured rather than the bitch that needs to put other women down to feel stronger. Packed with witty anecdote, etiquette, interviews and contributions from strong bitches such as Kathy Lette, Wendy Holden and Virginia Ironside this is a must read for all women on the most delicious, yet dangerous of verbal art forms.