Search results for: '*'

Constable

F*ck That

Jason Headley
Authors:
Jason Headley

Breathe in.Clear your desk.Breathe out.Clear your mind.Breathe in.Prepare.Breathe out.And enjoy the most mindful (and hilarious) 15 minutes of your day . . . F*ck That is a meditation guide which will teach you to breathe in strength and breathe out the bullsh*t.

Constable

F**k You And Goodbye

Matt Potter
Authors:
Matt Potter

History is written by the winners. It's the faithful servants, the insiders, the ones who stick around, who can adapt to almost any condition that get to write the official histories. They publish the memoirs, park in the directors' spots, erect the statues, form the new governments, wipe out the pockets of resistance, recruit the new starters, set the agendas, talk on the documentaries and retrospectives. Yet theirs - the official version - is never the whole story. The quitter's tale offers a far more compelling, and often a more honest version of history. In F*** You and Goodbye, Matt Potter collects the pithiest, angriest, most hilarious messages of resignation throughout history, including those whose exits were a springboard to eventual success, such as Steve Jobs, George Orwell and Charlie Sheen.It's full of self-deception, bloody knives, betrayal, honour, disgrace, disgust, thwarted ambition and shattered hopes, and sometimes a wicked sting in the tail . . .

Sphere

F**king Up the Buttons on a Babygrow

Drew Magary
Authors:
Drew Magary

Have you ever faked sleep at 3 a.m. in a perverse game of 'baby monitor chicken' with your partner? Or wondered exactly how dire the consequences of an incorrect measurement of formula might be? Have you fought off the urge to strangle the feral child who smeared something unidenitfiable on the playground slide just before your toddler used it? Or fought off the urge to strangle your own while they repeatedly shout 'What's up f**kface?' to all and sundry during a trip to the supermarket? If you're a new parent, you've probably done at least one of the above. And if you have, it's OK, as Drew Magary expertly demonstrates in this hilarious book. Drew's commentary on the perils of modern-day fatherhood is so acutely observed, and so brilliantly told, that in a perfect world it would be advertised at NCT classes, endorsed by Gina Ford, and handed out in every new parent's Bounty bag. Read it for yourself, give it your partner, or get it for anyone you know who you suspect might be about to fall into the parent trap . . .

Constable

Crazy Sh*t Old People Say

Geoff Tibballs
Authors:
Geoff Tibballs

With old age comes grey hair, dodgy knees, a sudden passion for re-runs of Murder, She Wrote, and an apparent God-given licence to speak one's mind and be generally offensive without fear of retribution. Under the guise of passing on the benefits of their experience to family members or just casual acquaintances, old people exercise their right to swear, cuss and insult as they please. These feisty philosophers take no prisoners as they use their scalpel-like tongues to dissect modern life and the younger generations. If challenged over their outrageous comments, they'll play the age card: you know the sort of thing - 'I'm eighty-six, I've fought for my country, and if I want to call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, then I'll call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, Vicar.'Other gems include:It bugs me when people say, 'Life is short.' What the hell does it mean? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! Are they going to do something that's longer? Son, if it's got tits or tyres, you're gonna have trouble with it. We all have our disappointments in life, son, and I'm talking to mine right now.The only way in which life resembles a bed of roses is that you encounter a lot of pricks along the way. Sure I'm surprised you can't get a job, son. I heard the world was crying out for someone who is lazy, has no qualifications but can spit gum into a waste paper basket from ten feet.Don't you think you might stand a better chance of becoming a captain of industry if you got rid of some of that metal shit on your body - like the nose stud and the eyebrow rings? Donald Trump may have a crap haircut but I bet he doesn't have pierced fucking nipples.Son, if life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.The secret of a happy life is to run out of cash and air at exactly the same time.

Piatkus

How To Quit Without Feeling S**T

Patrick Holford, James Braly, David Miller
Authors:
Patrick Holford, James Braly, David Miller

This groundbreaking book from the UK's leading spokesman on nutrition looks at why millions of people have cravings for substances such as coffee, sugar and alcohol, as well to drugs such as sleeping pills, antidepressants, marijuana and cocaine. It uncovers how the brain becomes addicted and how it can be 'unaddicted' through a combination of diet, supplements and lifestyle factors. The book is written in association with Dr David Miller, who has worked in the addiction field for 25 years and is an expert in relapse prevention. It looks at each of the most common substances that people become addicted to and offers specific advice on how to tackle that particular substance safely and effectively yourself. In-depth yet practical and accessible, HOW TO QUIT WITHOUT FEELING S**T, will allow you to understand why you feel the way you do, whether you have a dependency or have already given up but still feel lousy. The book provides a 12-week action plan for becoming addiction free - without suffering the deeply unpleasant symptoms of withdrawal that most addicts believe they must go through.

M.J. Trow

M.J. Trow is an historian and writer whose books include A Brief History of Vampires. His documentary on Cleopatra was recently screened on the National Geographic Channel. Originally from Rhondda, South Wales, he lives on the Isle of Wight.

M. R. Carey

M. R. Carey has been making up stories for most of his life. His novel The Girl With All the Gifts was a word-of-mouth bestseller and is now a major motion picture based on his own screenplay. Under the name Mike Carey he has written for both DC and Marvel, including critically acclaimed runs on Lucifer, Hellblazer and X-Men. His creator-owned series The Unwritten appeared regularly in the New York Times graphic fiction bestseller list. He also has several previous novels, games, radio plays, and TV and movie screenplays to his credit.

Nancy the Cat

Sex and the Kitty is Nancy the Cat's first book.

Nick Dybek

NICK DYBEK is a graduate of the University of Michigan and the Iowa Writers' Workshop. He is the recipient of a Hopwood Award for Short Fiction, a Maytag Fellowship, a 2010 Michener-Copernicus Society of America Award, and a Granta New Voices selection. He lives in New York City.

Nora Roberts

Nora Roberts is the number one New York Times bestseller of more than 200 novels. With over 500 million copies of her books in print, she is indisputably one of the most celebrated and popular writers in the world. She is both a Sunday Times bestseller in the UK and a number one bestseller in Australia.

P J Brooke

P J Brooke is the amalgam of a husband and wife writing team, Philip O'Brien and Jane Brooke.After a brief spell at the Foreign Office Philip taught Latin American studies at Glasgow University. He then moved to Latin America and witnessed some of its most dramatic moments: the Allende government and Pinochet's dictatorship in Chile, the cocaine wars in Columbia and the Chavez revolution in Venezuela. On his return to the UK he stood as a parliamentary candidate for the Scottish Green Party and was a member of the Scottish Constitutional Convention, which led to the formation of the Scottish Parliament.Jane has had a somewhat quieter life, mostly in local government and consultancy. However she has also been involved with the Scottish Green Party and it was during her time as National Secretary that she met Philip.

Paul Simpson

PAUL SIMPSON is the author and co-author of over two dozen non-fiction books including A Brief History of the Spy and The Mammoth Book of Prison Breaks.

Peter Berresford Ellis

Peter Berresford Ellis, is regarded as one of the pre-eminent Celtic scholars and has published many books on the subject. He is a Fellow of three Royal Societies in historical and antiquarian fields and the recipient of many awards and honours for his work. He is also, under the pseudonym Peter Tremayne he is the author of the bestselling Sister Fidelma murder mysteries set in Ireland in the 7th Century.

Peter Polites

Peter Polites is a writer of Greek descent from Western Sydney. As part of the SWEATSHOP writers collective, Peter has written and performed pieces all over Australia. Alongside SMH Best Young Novelists Luke Carman and Michael Mohammed Ahmad, Polites wrote and performed THREE JERKS - a spoken word piece about the Cronulla riots - to sellout crowds in Sydney and Melbourne. He has recently been commissioned to write a play about the migrant experience in Western Sydney for Sydney Festival, to be performed in 2017. DOWN THE HUME is his first novel.

Philip Johnston

Philip Johnston has been with the Daily Telegraph for 20 years. He was the paper's home affairs editor and chief political correspondent, before becoming part of the senior editorial executive team in 2007 as assistant editor, and is now a leader writer. He lives in London.

Rabih Alameddine

Rabih Alameddine is the author of the novels An Unnecessary Woman; I, the Divine; Koolaids; The Hakawati; and the story collection, The Perv.

Richard Belfield

Richard Belfield runs the television production company Fulcrum TV and has done documentaries for ITV and Channel 4 on the death of Diana, the shooting of Yvonne Fletcher, and Neil Hamilton - the last of which resulted in the libel action against Al Fayed by Neil Hamilton (which he lost). He was also the Internet correspondent for the New Statesman during the mid 1990s.Richard Belfield runs the television production company Fulcrum TV and has done documentaries for ITV and Channel 4 on the death of Diana, the shooting of Yvonne Fletcher, and Neil Hamilton - the last of which resulted in the libel action against Al Fayed by Neil Hamilton (which he lost). He was also the Internet correspondent for the New Statesman during the mid 1990s.

Richard Rayner

Richard Rayner is the author of The Cloud Sketcher, Drake's Fortune, The Associates, and several other books. His writing appears in The New Yorker, The Los Angeles Times, and elsewhere. He is an Englishman living in Los Angeles.

Richard Russell Lawrence

Richard Russell Lawrence is editor of several other Mammoths including TheMammoth Book of Battles and The Mammoth Book of Storms and ShipwrecksRichard Russell Lawrence has worked in the field of art and design for over 20 years. His previous books include The Mammoth Book of How it Happened: Naval Battles, The Mammoth Book of Battles and The Illustrated Companion to Nelson's Navy.Richard Russell Lawrence, editor of The Mammoth Book of How it Happened: Battles, also co-authored The Illustrated Companion to Nelson's Navy.

Robert Crease

Robert Crease is a science writer and columnist for Physics World. His previous books include The Prism and Pendulum: The Ten Most Beautiful Experiments in Science. He has also written for The Atlantic, New York Times and Wall Street Journal.