Related to: 'Constable'

Constable

Shabby

Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd
Authors:
Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd

From the creators of the bestselling parodies We're Going on a Bar Hunt, The Very Hungover Caterpillar and The Teenager Who Came to Tea.Shabby - because there is no word for Hygge in English.We all know Shabby when we see it. It's that welcoming pair of pants drying on the radiator. That half-mouldy, but perfectly gin-and-tonic-worthy lemon on display in the fruit bowl. That tin of plum tomatoes in the cupboard with a sell-by date of 1983. It's never dusting higher than your tallest friend's line of sight. But Shabby is more than just an attitude; it's a quintessentially British way of life, tried and tested for generations, and founded on the Four Central Pillars of Shabbism, Messiness, Dilapidation, Clutter and Bodged Works.Being Shabby is about spending less time fussing and clearing up and getting stressed out about stuff that doesn't really matter anyway. And more time hanging out with your family and friends. It's a celebration of a life that is neither tidy nor empty, but rather one that is splendidly cluttered and full.Shabby - because life's just too bloody short to waste time striving for perfection, or caring too much about what other people think about you and yours. Instead of worrying about what could be, it's time to start celebrating what actually is.Praise for The Very Hungover Caterpillar'Hilarious and painfully accurate, The Very Hungover Caterpillar is liable to be one of those parodies that becomes more famous than the original' IndependentPraise for We're Going on a Bar Hunt'. . . a parody that will draw a smile from any parent' Guardian Praise for The Teenager Who Came to Tea'A hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book and a perfect read for anyone who remembers the original, or has ever been a teenager or is the parent / grandparent of a teenager today' gransnet.com

Constable

Patronising Bastards

Quentin Letts
Authors:
Quentin Letts
Robinson

Pickles and Ice Cream

Vicky Jacob-Ebbinghaus, Juarez Rodrigues
Authors:
Vicky Jacob-Ebbinghaus, Juarez Rodrigues

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJm1VyB9ENQ&feature=youtu.beHusband-and-wife design team Vicky Jacob-Ebbinghaus and Juarez Rodrigues set up their hugely popular website eatingfortwocookbook.com when they started interviewing pregnant women on their strangest cravings.They 'cooked', tasted, rated and photographed each discovery, giving it the look of haute cuisine and a similarly fancy-sounding name. When they posted these creations on their blog, the crowd went wild with reposts and tags. More and more pregnant women submitted their cravings for the 'Vicki and Juarez treatment' and soon media pundits were raving. Pickles and Ice Cream feature 75 almost- never-before-seen recipes, uniquely beautiful (even if their appeal as food might be questionable) photographs of the recipes, along with the stories of the pregnant women who dreamed them up.

Constable

The Joy of Socks: A Gourmet Guide to Sockmating

Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd
Authors:
Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd

Everyone has socks. In fact, most people love socks. That said, it's not a subject we discuss openly other than with our friends; we just take it for granted that everyone has lots of socks and has their own socksual preferences.Most of us would admit to having enjoyed a wide variety of socks. We have our favourite socks, of course, but also socks for all sorts of occasions: novelty socks, casual socks, outdoor socks, socks that are a bit racy, socks we admit to and socks that are just downright dirty.Some people are fastidious when it comes to socks, never entertaining the thought of odd socks, while others are definitely on the fifty shades of socks spectrum.Whatever kind of socks you're in to, we hope you find that this guide stimulates your imagination and reassures you that it's OK to love all socks.

Constable

'Twas the Fight Before Christmas

Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd
Authors:
Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd

From the creators of the bestselling parodies We're Going on a Bar Hunt, The Very Hungover Caterpillar and The Teenager Who Came to Tea.'Tis the season to be jolly. But as any modern family knows, 'tis also the season to be micro-managed by your in-laws, guzzle too many sherries, fight over the TV remote, and panic about your internet shopping not arriving on time.But if you think that's bad, just wait until you meet the Jones family. Instead of this being their best Christmas ever, this might just be their last - especially if they don't all pull together to help their surprise guest in his hour of need.An uproariously funny update of the traditional Christmas Eve classic - that all the family can enjoy.Praise for The Very Hungover Caterpillar'Hilarious and painfully accurate, The Very Hungover Caterpillar is liable to be one of those parodies that becomes more famous than the original' IndependentPraise for We're Going on a Bar Hunt'. . . a parody that will draw a smile from any parent' Guardian Praise for The Teenager Who Came to Tea'A hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book and a perfect read for anyone who remembers the original, or has ever been a teenager or is the parent / grandparent of a teenager today' gransnet.com

Constable

The Speaker's Wife

Quentin Letts
Authors:
Quentin Letts

Winner of The People's Book Prize Beryl Bainbridge Award for Best First Time Author.'This brilliant and utterly engrossing debut novel is both a lively political satire and a state-of-the-nation polemic . . . The author's Wodehousian relish of the English language is infectious' Tatler'Wildly original and beautifully written. It's funny but, at times, unbearably sad' Daily MailThe Rev Tom Ross's quiet and semi-alcoholic life as chaplain to the Speaker of the House of Commons is about to be shattered. Pastor Petroc Stone of a central London, evangelical church gives sanctuary to a young man being chased by the police for making an anti-Islamic protest. Politicians rage about the Church of England giving a safe haven to a dangerous criminal and Islamists surround the church building, furious at the boy's insult.Meanwhile, the charismatic, white-maned Don of Doubt, Augustus Dymock, and his secular campaign, the Thought Foundation, are pressuring the Church to sell hundreds of its under-used places of worship.As the stories twist and flow together, Ross finds himself caught up in a world of bribes, violence and political spin and, at high personal cost, he must confront his demons. The Speaker's Wife mixes Westminster intrigue with searching depictions of an England which has neglected its beliefs. Laugh-aloud satire is mixed with moving passages about the human condition and even a fairytale love story.

Constable

The Teenager Who Came to Tea

Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd, Gillian Johnson
Contributors:
Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd, Gillian Johnson

But the teenager didn't take just one Pringle. He took a selfie of himself pouring a whole tube of them into his mouth, before sending it to his best mate, along with the letters LOL!The bestselling authors of We're Going on a Bar Hunt and The Very Hungover Caterpillar bring you another hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book, this time turning the spotlight not only on modern teens, but firmly on their parents too.When the doorbell rings, just as Sophie and her Dad are sitting down for their tea, they're half-expecting a visit from a tiger, but what slouches in through their doorway is even more curious than that... a teenager.A perfect read for anyone who remembers the original, or has ever been a teenager or is the parent of a teenager today.

Constable

Switch It Off

Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd
Authors:
Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd

'Stop teens from waking you up too early on Christmas morning and encourage them off their mobile phones by slipping this smart little collection of facts, puzzles, quizzes and games into their stocking. There's enough in here to keep them busy until New Year.' HeatBored of seeing everyone you know glued to their phones all the time?Switch It Off! is a revolutionary, pocket-sized activity book the same size and shape as a smartphone.It's packed with entertaining games, challenges, jokes, puzzles and illusions - and it will change your life.You can dip into it, leaf through it, pass it around, colour in it, scribble on it, and even rip it up.It's all about having fun, any way you want, either on your own, or with your family and friends.Its groundbreaking features include:a battery life as long as your imagination! it fits in your pocket!you can take it anywhere!wifi, cables & earphones are not required!it's 100% recyclable!We hope it gets people talking - face to face. And laughing - together. So what are you waiting for? To switch your real social life back on, just Switch It Off!

Constable

50 People Who Screwed Up Scotland

Allan Brown
Authors:
Allan Brown
Constable

The Very Hungover Caterpillar

Emlyn Rees
Authors:
Emlyn Rees

'Hilarious and painfully accurate, The Very Hungover Caterpillar is liable to be one of those parodies that becomes more famous than the original.' IndependentIn the gloom of the room, a fully dressed man lies on the sofa. The next morning, the TV comes on and - ugh! - ! up lurches a thirsty and very hungover caterpillar. From the bestselling authors of We're Going on a Bar Hunt, comes another hilarious parody of a much-loved children's book. This time, we follow the quest of one man as he attempts to shake off his hangover, through eating whatever he can get his hands on, and annoying his family in the process. The perfect book for anyone who fondly remembers the original, but has now grown up and knows all too well just how painful hungover days can be . . .

Constable

We're Going On A Bar Hunt

Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd, Gillian Johnson
Contributors:
Emlyn Rees, Josie Lloyd, Gillian Johnson
Constable

Dear Lupin...

Charlie Mortimer, Roger Mortimer
Authors:
Charlie Mortimer, Roger Mortimer

Nostalgic, witty and filled with characters and situations that people of all ages will recognise, Dear Lupin is the entire correspondence of a Father to his only son, spanning nearly 25 years. Roger Mortimer's sometimes hilarious, sometimes touching, always generous letters to his son are packed with anecdotes and sharp observations, with a unique analogy for each and every scrape Charlie Mortimer got himself into. The trials and tribulations of his youth and early adulthood are received by his father with humour, understanding and a touch of resignation, making them the perfect reminder of when letters were common, but always special.A racing journalist himself, Roger Mortimer wrote for a living, yet still wrote more than 150 letters to his son as he left school, and lived in places such as South America, Africa, Weston-super-Mare and eventually London. These letters form a memoir of their relationship, and an affectionate portrait of a time gone by.

Constable

Letts Rip!

Quentin Letts
Authors:
Quentin Letts

Throughout the New Labour years - that decade of deceit, that era of wretched wriggle - the Daily Mail's Quentin Letts has maintained a lonely, vehement vigil. Like a lone clay pigeon shot squinting through his sights at a sky black with targets, he has fired his daily bullets at the poseurs and pooh-bahs of British public life.John Prescott? BANG! Alan Sugar? BANG BANG!Peter Mandelson, Harriet Harman, and the Commons Speaker Letts nicknamed 'Gorbals Mick'? Bullseyes - every single one.In this collection of anguished and often snortingly funny political sketches and journalism, Letts lets off more steam than a Chinese laundry. The modern Establishment won't like it. They tried to gag him. Smear him. Even tried to get him fired. Quentin Letts: The man they could not silence. As his wife will be the first to tell you.Praise for Quentin's previous books:'I salute Mr Letts's one-man stand against the ugly and brainless Bog-Folk.' Daily Mail'[Quentin Letts] discharges his duty with flair and tracer precision...an angry book, beautifully written.' The Spectator

Constable

50 People Who Fouled Up Football

Michael Henderson
Authors:
Michael Henderson
Constable

Bog-Standard Britain

Quentin Letts
Authors:
Quentin Letts

No one would attack equality, would they? Quentin Letts just might. Not the notion of equality itself but the way it has become an industry for lobbyists, class warriors and New Labour's ageing Trots.Egalitarianism is a mania for today's policymakers and the soupy-brained halfwits we contrive to elect to public office. Appalled by free thinking, these equality junkies want to crush all individualism in our nation of once indignant eccentrics.Equality has been defiled by the ethnic grievance gang, by the harpies of feminist orthodoxy, by those risk-averse jackboots of town-hall bureaucracy with their quotas and creeds. Fair damsel Liberty has been whored by the best practice brigade, by the proceduralists of multinational corporatism in their company ties, by the glottal-stopping, municipal bores who insist that everyone must have prizes and that no culture can be dominant.Tilters against convention are assailed for their 'inappropriate' behaviour. Supporters of grammar schools are 'snobs'. Social nuance, once a vital lure to self-improvement, is deemed 'unacceptable'.Twenty-first century Britain's political cadre is so paralysed by class paranoia that it stops us attaining the best in schools, manners, language, fashion, popular culture. Elitism is a dirty word. The BBC stamps out the Queen's English because it is not 'accessible'. Celebrity morons are cultural pin-ups. Thick rools, OK. The glottal-stopping oikishness of our urban streets can be linked to modern equality's refusal to deplore. The prattishness of Jonathan Ross arises from a mad insistence that vulgarity is valid.Still think equality is such a great thing? You might not after reading this urgent, exasperated, witheringly funny book.Praise for 50 People Who Buggered Up Britain:'[Quentin Letts] discharges his duty with flair and tracer precision...an angry book, beautifully written.' The Spectator

Constable

50 People Who Buggered Up Britain

Quentin Letts
Authors:
Quentin Letts

Which fifty people made Britain the wreck she is? From ludicrous propagandist Alastair Campbell to the Luftwaffe's allies, the modernist architects, it's time to name the guilty.Quentin Letts sharpens his nib and stabs them where they deserve it, from TV gardener Alan Titchmarsh, the dumbed-down buffoon who put the 'h' in Aspidistra, to the perpetrators of the 'Credit Crunch'. Margaret Thatcher ruptured our national unity. The creators of EastEnders trashed our brand over high tea. Thus, he argues, are the people who made our country the ugly, scheming, cheating, beer-ridden bum of the Western world. Here are the fools and knaves and vulgarians who ripped down our British glories and imposed the tawdry and the trite. In a half century we have gone from end-of-Empire to descent-into-Hell.

Emlyn Rees

EMLYN REES spent his early twenties traveling around Asia and mixing cocktails in London for the likes of Sylvester Stallone and Princess Anne. He published his first crime novel aged twenty-five, his second a year later, and then co-wrote seven comedies with Josie Lloyd, including the Sunday Times bestseller Come Together. He is the editor of British and American paperback crime fiction imprint, Exhibit A, and lives on and around Brighton beach with Joanna Rees, aka Josie Lloyd.

Quentin Letts

Quentin Letts is parliamentary sketch writer and theatre critic for the Daily Mail. A regular broadcaster on radio and television, he was formerly New York correspondent for The Times and gossip columnist for the Daily Telegraph. He recently presented Radio 4's series 'What's The Point Of?' He lists his recreations, in Who's Who as 'gossip' and 'character defenestration'.

Alexander Parker

Alexander Parker has authored a number of books with Tim Richman, and written for publications in the UK, South Africa, Australia and New Zealand.

Tim Richman

Tim Richman has authored a number of books with Alexander Parker, and written for publications in the UK, South Africa, Australia and New Zealand.Zapiro is South Africa's premier political cartoonist; among numerous accolades, he has won the International Publishers Association's Freedom to Publish Prize.