Tom Holt - Blonde Bombshell - Little, Brown Book Group

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    • ISBN:9780748113705
    • Publication date:06 May 2010

Blonde Bombshell

By Tom Holt

  • Paperback
  • £9.99

Perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, BLONDE BOMBSHELL is the science fiction debut from Tom Holt - one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction.

A heart-warming tale of Armageddon from one of the funniest, most original voices in comic fiction today . . .

The third planet out from the star was blue, with green splodges. Dirt.

Oh, the bomb thought. And then its courage, determination and nobility-of-spirit subroutines cut in, overriding everything else, adrenalizing its command functions and bypassing its cyberphrenetic nodes. Here goes, said the bomb to itself. Calibrate navigational pod. Engage primary thrusters. Ready auxiliary drive. It knew, in that moment, that its own doom was near; because it was giving itself orders, and it wasn't putting in any 'the's. That was what you did, apparently, when the moment came. You could also turn on a flashing red beacon and a siren, but mercifully these were optional.

Oh #/$+! thought the bomb, and surged on towards Dirt like an avenging angel.

Biographical Notes

Tom Holt's first book was published when he was just thirteen and, to his horror, he was hailed as an infant prodigy. While studying at Oxford, however, he discovered bar billiards and turned from poetry to comic fiction.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781841497778
  • Publication date: 20 Jan 2011
  • Page count: 400
  • Imprint: Orbit
BLONDE BOMBSHELL is a clever, funny, tirelessly inventive, apocalyptic leg-hump of a book. Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams — Christopher Moore
Orbit

The Management Style of the Supreme Beings

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

When the Supreme Being and his son decide that being supreme isn't for them any more, it's inevitable that things get a bit of a shake-up.It soon becomes apparent that our new owners, the Venturi brothers, have a very different perspective on all sorts of things. Take Good and Evil, for example. For them, it's an outdated concept that never worked particularly well in the first place.Unfortunately, the sudden disappearance of right and wrong, while welcomed by some, raises certain concerns amongst those still attached to the previous team's management style.In particular, there's one of the old gods who didn't move out with the others. A reclusive chap, he lives somewhere up north, and only a handful even believe in him.But he's watching. And he really does need to know if you've been naughty or nice.

Orbit

The Good, the Bad and the Smug

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

New Evil.Same as the Old Evil, but with better PR.Mordak isn't bad, as far as goblin kings go, but when someone, or something, starts pumping gold into the human kingdoms it puts his rule into serious jeopardy. Suddenly he's locked in an arms race with a species whose arms he once considered merely part of a calorie-controlled diet.Helped by an elf with a background in journalism and a masters degree in being really pleased with herself, Mordak sets out to discover what on earth (if indeed, that's where he is) is going on. He knows that the truth is out there. If only he could remember where he put it.

Orbit

The Outsorcerer's Apprentice

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

A HAPPY WORKFORCE, IT IS SAID, IS A PRODUCTIVE WORKFORCE.Try telling that to an army of belligerent goblins. Or the Big Bad Wolf. Or a professional dragon slayer. Who is looking after their well-being? Who gives a damn about their intolerable working conditions, lack of adequate health insurance, and terrible coffee in the canteen?Thankfully, with access to an astonishingly diverse workforce and limitless natural resources, maximizing revenue and improving operating profit has never really been an issue for the one they call 'the Wizard.' Until now.Because now a perfectly good business model-based on sound fiscal planning, entrepreneurial flair, and only one or two of the infinite parallel worlds that make up our universe-is about to be disrupted by a young man not entirely aware of what's going on.There's also a slight risk that the fabric of reality will be torn to shreds. You really do have to be awfully careful with these things.

Orbit

When It's A Jar

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt
Orbit

The Jennifer Morgue

Charles Stross
Authors:
Charles Stross
Orbit

The Atrocity Archives

Charles Stross
Authors:
Charles Stross

NEVER VOLUNTEER FOR ACTIVE DUTY . . .Bob Howard is a low-level techie working for a super-secret government agency. While his colleagues are out saving the world, Bob's under a desk restoring lost data. His world was dull and safe - but then he went and got Noticed.Now, Bob is up to his neck in spycraft, parallel universes, dimension-hopping terrorists, monstrous elder gods and the end of the world. Only one thing is certain: it will take more than a full system reboot to sort this mess out . . .This is the first novel in the Laundry Files.

Orbit

Doughnut

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt
Orbit

Iain M. Banks Culture - 25th anniversary box set

Iain M. Banks
Authors:
Iain M. Banks

CONSIDER PHLEBASThe war raged across the galaxy. Billions had died, billions more were doomed. Moons, planets, the very stars themselves, faced destruction, cold-blooded, brutal, and worse, random. The Idirans fought for their Faith; the Culture for its moral right to exist. Principles were at stake. There could be no surrender.Within the cosmic conflict, an individual crusade. Deep within a fabled labyrinth on a barren world, a Planet of the Dead proscribed to mortals, lay a fugitive Mind. Both the Culture and the Idirans sought it. It was the fate of Horza, the Changer, and his motley crew of unpredictable mercenaries, human and machine, actually to find it, and with it their own destruction.USE OF WEAPONSThe man known as Cheradenine Zakalwe was one of Special Circumstances' foremost agents, changing the destiny of planets to suit the Culture through intrigue, dirty tricks or military action.The woman known as Diziet Sma had plucked him from obscurity and pushed him towards his present eminence, but despite all their dealings she did not know him as well as she thought. The drone known as Skaffen-Amtiskaw knew both of these people. It had once saved the woman's life by massacring her attackers in a particularly bloody manner. It believed the man to be a burnt-out case. But not even its machine intelligence could see the horrors in his past.THE PLAYER OF GAMESThe Culture - a human/machine symbiotic society - has thrown up many great Game Players, and one of the greatest is Gurgeh. Jernau Morat Gurgeh. The Player of Games. Master of every board, computer and strategy.Bored with success, Gurgeh travels to the Empire of Azad, cruel and incredibly wealthy, to try their fabulous game ... a game so complex, so like life itself, that the winner becomes emperor. Mocked, blackmailed, almost murdered, Gurgeh accepts the game, and with it the challenge of his life - and very possibly his death.

Robinson

Mammoth Books presents Anomalies

Gregory Benford
Authors:
Gregory Benford
Robinson

Mammoth Books presents Death in the Promised Land

Pat Cadigan
Authors:
Pat Cadigan

'Death in the Promised Land' explores the potential dangers of becoming too closely involved in virtual reality. Parts of the story were later reworked into the novel Tea from an Empty Cup (1988), which had a sequel in Dervish is Digital (2001), both excellent examples of merging cyberpunk with the detective genre.

Robinson

Mammoth Books presents Wang's Carpets

Greg Egan
Authors:
Greg Egan
Robinson

Mammoth Books presents The Region Between

Harlan Ellison
Authors:
Harlan Ellison

"The Region Between" first appeared in Galaxy back in 1970. It had originally been commissioned as one of a set of stories by different authors who all used a common starting point as set out in the story's prologue, written by Keith Laumer. Ellison's contribution was a longer work than one usually expects from him, but it nevertheless sustains its bombardment of ideas and feelings throughout. What's more, Ellison created a story that demanded a different format to allow for full expression. The result was a typesetter's nightmare but, as you will see, the experience now only makes this story all the more fascinating, it actually takes you into the story itself.Mike Ashley

Orbit

Life, Liberty And The Pursuit Of Sausages

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

Polly, an average, completely ordinary property lawyer, is convinced she's losing her mind. Someone keeps drinking her coffee. And talking to her clients. And doing her job. And when she goes to the dry cleaner's to pick up her dress for the party, it's not there. Not the dress - the dry cleaner's.And then there are the chickens who think they are people. Something strange is definitely going on - and it's going to take more than a magical ring to sort it out.

Robinson

The Mammoth Book of Nebula Awards SF

Kevin J. Anderson
Authors:
Kevin J. Anderson

The very best short SF fiction of any given year as recommended and nominated by the members of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America: the best novella, novelette and short story. Here you will find the cream of the crop of science fiction and fantasy - startling ideas, the intricate construction of new worlds and mind-bending experimental writing. This anthology includes not only the Nebula Award-winning works in each short-form category, but also all the nominees in the novelette and short story categories. Here you will find colourful fantasy, outstanding speculative fiction, steampunk, edgy writing on the fringes of the mainstream and uncompromisingly hard SF in stories set in the distant past, an off-kilter present day, the far future or some times in between.

Orbit

May Contain Traces Of Magic

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

There are all kinds of products. The good ones. The bad ones. The ones that stay in the garage mouldering for years until your garden gnome makes a home out of them. Most are harmless if handled properly, even if they do contain traces of peanuts. But some are not. Not the ones that contain traces of magic.Chris Popham wasn't paying enough attention when he talked to his SatNav. Sure, she gave him directions, never backtalked him, and always led him to his next spot on the map with perfect accuracy. She was the best thing in his life. So was it really his fault that he didn't start paying attention when she talked to him? In his defence, that was her job. But when 'Take the next right' turned into 'Excuse me,' that was when the real trouble started. Because sometimes a SatNav isn't a SatNav. Sometimes it's an imprisoned soul trapped inside a metal box that will do anything it can to get free. And some products you just can't return.

Orbit

Metal Gear Solid: Book 2

Raymond Benson
Authors:
Raymond Benson
Orbit

Expecting Someone Taller

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt
Orbit

Who's Afraid Of Beowulf?

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

The last Norse king of Caithness, Hrolf Earthstar and his 12 champions are woken from a centuries-long sleep when an archaeologist finds their grave. He decides to carry on his ancient war against the Sourcerer-King, and must face such perils as BBC film crews and the Bakerloo line along the way.

Orbit

Odds And Gods

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

Wagner got it wrong. The twilight of the gods isn't that cataclysmic. After all, there's a comfy chair, a warm fire and three meals a day at the Sunnyvoyde Residential Home. Passing the time with Aphrodite, who's still quite sprighty with the aid of her Zimmer frame, isn't heaven - but it's close.

Orbit

Djinn Rummy

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

When Kayaguchiya Integrated Circuits III, a genie, is released from the aspirin bottle he's been stuck in for 14 years, there's bound to be trouble. Jane had wanted to end her life in peace, but now she's got a genie, things look up - until the apocalypse rears its ugly head.