Tom Holt - May Contain Traces Of Magic - Little, Brown Book Group

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    • ISBN:9780748113828
    • Publication date:05 Nov 2009

May Contain Traces Of Magic

By Tom Holt

  • Paperback
  • £9.99

Another slice of fantastic comic TOMfoolery.

There are all kinds of products. The good ones. The bad ones. The ones that stay in the garage mouldering for years until your garden gnome makes a home out of them. Most are harmless if handled properly, even if they do contain traces of peanuts. But some are not. Not the ones that contain traces of magic.

Chris Popham wasn't paying enough attention when he talked to his SatNav. Sure, she gave him directions, never backtalked him, and always led him to his next spot on the map with perfect accuracy. She was the best thing in his life. So was it really his fault that he didn't start paying attention when she talked to him? In his defence, that was her job. But when 'Take the next right' turned into 'Excuse me,' that was when the real trouble started.
Because sometimes a SatNav isn't a SatNav. Sometimes it's an imprisoned soul trapped inside a metal box that will do anything it can to get free. And some products you just can't return.

Biographical Notes

Tom Holt is the author of more than twenty comic fantasy novels and a number of acclaimed historical novels.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781841495064
  • Publication date: 01 Apr 2010
  • Page count: 368
  • Imprint: Orbit
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Doughnut

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Life, Liberty And The Pursuit Of Sausages

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Polly, an average, completely ordinary property lawyer, is convinced she's losing her mind. Someone keeps drinking her coffee. And talking to her clients. And doing her job. And when she goes to the dry cleaner's to pick up her dress for the party, it's not there. Not the dress - the dry cleaner's.And then there are the chickens who think they are people. Something strange is definitely going on - and it's going to take more than a magical ring to sort it out.

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Blonde Bombshell

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A heart-warming tale of Armageddon from one of the funniest, most original voices in comic fiction today . . .The third planet out from the star was blue, with green splodges. Dirt.Oh, the bomb thought. And then its courage, determination and nobility-of-spirit subroutines cut in, overriding everything else, adrenalizing its command functions and bypassing its cyberphrenetic nodes. Here goes, said the bomb to itself. Calibrate navigational pod. Engage primary thrusters. Ready auxiliary drive. It knew, in that moment, that its own doom was near; because it was giving itself orders, and it wasn't putting in any 'the's. That was what you did, apparently, when the moment came. You could also turn on a flashing red beacon and a siren, but mercifully these were optional.Oh #/$+! thought the bomb, and surged on towards Dirt like an avenging angel.

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Open Sesame

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There was something wrong! Just as the boiling water was about to be poured on his head and the man with the red book appeared and his life flashed before his eyes, Akram the Terrible, the most feared thief in Baghdad, knew this had happened before. Many times. And he was damned if he was going to let it happen again. Just because he was a character in a story didn't mean that it always had to end this way. Meanwhile, back in Southampton, it's a bit of a shock for Michelle when she puts on her Aunt Fatima's ring and the computer and the telephone start to bitch at her for past misdemeanors. But that's nothing compared to the story that her kitchen appliances have to tell her.

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Wish You Were Here

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Welcome to your Heart's Desire. It was a busy day on Lake Chicopee. But it was an eclectic bunch of sightseers and tourists that had the strange local residents rubbing their hands with delight. There was Calvin Dieb, the lawyer setting up the property deal, who'd lost his car keys; there was Linda Lochuck, the tabloid journalist who could smell that big, sensational story; there was dumpy Janice DeWecoe, who was just on a walking holiday but who longed for love. But, most promising of all, there was Wesley Higgins, the young man from Birmingham, England, who was there because he knew about the legend of the ghost of Okeewana and what she promised. Just immerse yourself in the waters of the lake and receive your heart's desire. The only drawback was that it was Okeewana who decided just what that was . . . And it isn't always what you have in mind. Ask the ghost of Talks with Squirrels, the Indian brave who still dwells hereabouts. Or those very polite Vikings whose boat keeps on sinking.

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Olympiad

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Expecting Someone Taller

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Who's Afraid Of Beowulf?

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The last Norse king of Caithness, Hrolf Earthstar and his 12 champions are woken from a centuries-long sleep when an archaeologist finds their grave. He decides to carry on his ancient war against the Sourcerer-King, and must face such perils as BBC film crews and the Bakerloo line along the way.

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Odds And Gods

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Wagner got it wrong. The twilight of the gods isn't that cataclysmic. After all, there's a comfy chair, a warm fire and three meals a day at the Sunnyvoyde Residential Home. Passing the time with Aphrodite, who's still quite sprighty with the aid of her Zimmer frame, isn't heaven - but it's close.

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Djinn Rummy

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Here Comes The Sun

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All is not well with the universe - cutbacks have taken their toll, and the sun is dirty and late, thanks to being 30 billion miles overdue on its next service. None of the committees can agree on anything, and extreme measures seem called for.

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My Hero

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Paint Your Dragon

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One moment Bianca's sculpture of St George is lacking just the final touches, the next, it's lacking a dragon. This is only the first step in a fight between good and evil, involving some heavyweight gamblers, a time entrepreneur, a dragon, St George, and some hideous but endearing demons.

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Only Human

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Something is about to go wrong. Very wrong. What do you expect if the Supreme Being decides to get away from it all for a few days, leaving his naturally inquisitive son to look after the cosmic balance of things?A minor hiccup with a human soul and a welding machine soon leads to a violent belch, and before you know it the human condition - not to mention the lemming condition - is tumbling down the slippery slope to chaos.

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Ye Gods!

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Overtime

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