Tom Holt - Open Sesame - Little, Brown Book Group

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Open Sesame

By Tom Holt

  • E-Book
  • £P.O.R.

From one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction comes another absurdly witty title - perfect for fans of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett

There was something wrong! Just as the boiling water was about to be poured on his head and the man with the red book appeared and his life flashed before his eyes, Akram the Terrible, the most feared thief in Baghdad, knew this had happened before. Many times. And he was damned if he was going to let it happen again. Just because he was a character in a story didn't mean that it always had to end this way. Meanwhile, back in Southampton, it's a bit of a shock for Michelle when she puts on her Aunt Fatima's ring and the computer and the telephone start to bitch at her for past misdemeanors. But that's nothing compared to the story that her kitchen appliances have to tell her.

Biographical Notes

Tom Holt's first book was published when he was just thirteen and, to his horror, he was hailed as an infant prodigy. While studying at Oxford however he discovered Bar Billiards and turned from poetry to comic fiction.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9780748113750
  • Publication date: 05 Nov 2009
  • Page count:
  • Imprint: Orbit
Orbit

The Management Style of the Supreme Beings

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt
Orbit

The Good, the Bad and the Smug

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt
Orbit

The Outsorcerer's Apprentice

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt
Orbit

When It's A Jar

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

Maurice has just killed a dragon with a breadknife. And had his destiny foretold . . . and had his true love spirited away. That's precisely the sort of stuff that'd bring out the latent heroism in anyone. Unfortunately, Maurice is pretty sure he hasn't got any latent heroism. Meanwhile, a man wakes up in a jar in a different kind of pickle (figuratively speaking). He can't get out, of course, but neither can he remember his name, or what gravity is, or what those things on the ends on his legs are called . . . and every time he starts working it all out, someone makes him forget again. Forget everything. Only one thing might help him. The answer to the most baffling question of all. WHEN IS A DOOR NOT A DOOR?

Orbit

Doughnut

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt
Orbit

Life, Liberty And The Pursuit Of Sausages

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

Polly, an average, completely ordinary property lawyer, is convinced she's losing her mind. Someone keeps drinking her coffee. And talking to her clients. And doing her job. And when she goes to the dry cleaner's to pick up her dress for the party, it's not there. Not the dress - the dry cleaner's.And then there are the chickens who think they are people. Something strange is definitely going on - and it's going to take more than a magical ring to sort it out.

Orbit

Blonde Bombshell

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

A heart-warming tale of Armageddon from one of the funniest, most original voices in comic fiction today . . .The third planet out from the star was blue, with green splodges. Dirt.Oh, the bomb thought. And then its courage, determination and nobility-of-spirit subroutines cut in, overriding everything else, adrenalizing its command functions and bypassing its cyberphrenetic nodes. Here goes, said the bomb to itself. Calibrate navigational pod. Engage primary thrusters. Ready auxiliary drive. It knew, in that moment, that its own doom was near; because it was giving itself orders, and it wasn't putting in any 'the's. That was what you did, apparently, when the moment came. You could also turn on a flashing red beacon and a siren, but mercifully these were optional.Oh #/$+! thought the bomb, and surged on towards Dirt like an avenging angel.

Orbit

May Contain Traces Of Magic

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

There are all kinds of products. The good ones. The bad ones. The ones that stay in the garage mouldering for years until your garden gnome makes a home out of them. Most are harmless if handled properly, even if they do contain traces of peanuts. But some are not. Not the ones that contain traces of magic.Chris Popham wasn't paying enough attention when he talked to his SatNav. Sure, she gave him directions, never backtalked him, and always led him to his next spot on the map with perfect accuracy. She was the best thing in his life. So was it really his fault that he didn't start paying attention when she talked to him? In his defence, that was her job. But when 'Take the next right' turned into 'Excuse me,' that was when the real trouble started. Because sometimes a SatNav isn't a SatNav. Sometimes it's an imprisoned soul trapped inside a metal box that will do anything it can to get free. And some products you just can't return.

Orbit

Wish You Were Here

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt
Abacus

Olympiad

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

Two thousand, seven hundred and seventy-six years ago a group of men ran between two piles of stones, and invented sport. If, that is, its history can be believed.The first ever Olympic Games in 776BC were apparently so memorable that all Western chronology is based on them. All we know about them is the name of the man who won the race. Over two and a half millennia later, it's about time somebody told the story.OLYMPIAD is an enthralling and beguiling historical novel full of adventure and misadventure. It will confirm Tom Holt's place as an innovative, challenging and wonderfully entertaining writer of historical fiction. Essential reading for all fans of Tom Holt and historical fiction.

Orbit

Expecting Someone Taller

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

All Malcolm Fisher did was run over a badger. Unfortunately the badger turned out to be Ingolf, last of the giants. With his dying breath he reluctantly gave Malcolm two gifts of power and made him ruler of the world. Other work by the author includes Ye Gods! and Grailblazers .

Orbit

Who's Afraid Of Beowulf?

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt
Orbit

Odds And Gods

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt
Orbit

Djinn Rummy

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

When Kayaguchiya Integrated Circuits III, a genie, is released from the aspirin bottle he's been stuck in for 14 years, there's bound to be trouble. Jane had wanted to end her life in peace, but now she's got a genie, things look up - until the apocalypse rears its ugly head.

Orbit

Here Comes The Sun

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

All is not well with the universe - cutbacks have taken their toll, and the sun is dirty and late, thanks to being 30 billion miles overdue on its next service. None of the committees can agree on anything, and extreme measures seem called for.

Orbit

My Hero

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

This is the story of Jane, who finds the novel she is working on starts to write back. She's already realized novel writing isn't such a piece of cake after all, and the world of fiction is a far more complicated place than she ever imagined.

Orbit

Paint Your Dragon

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

One moment Bianca's sculpture of St George is lacking just the final touches, the next, it's lacking a dragon. This is only the first step in a fight between good and evil, involving some heavyweight gamblers, a time entrepreneur, a dragon, St George, and some hideous but endearing demons.

Orbit

Only Human

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

Something is about to go wrong. Very wrong. What do you expect if the Supreme Being decides to get away from it all for a few days, leaving his naturally inquisitive son to look after the cosmic balance of things?A minor hiccup with a human soul and a welding machine soon leads to a violent belch, and before you know it the human condition - not to mention the lemming condition - is tumbling down the slippery slope to chaos.

Orbit

Ye Gods!

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt

A suburban house, a child called Jason who strangles large snakes whilst still in his cot, the Olympian gods and a Girl Next Door are the ingredients of this fantasy by Tom Holt, author of Flying Dutch and Expecting Someone Taller.Being a hero bothers Jason. It's easy to get maladjusted when your mum's a suburban housewife and your dad's the Supreme Being. It can be a drag slaying fabulous monsters and retrieving golden fleeces from dragons, and then having to tidy your room before your mum'll let you watch Star Trek .

Orbit

Overtime

Tom Holt
Authors:
Tom Holt