Tom Holt - Snow White And The Seven Samurai - Little, Brown Book Group

Snow White And The Seven Samurai

By Tom Holt

  • Paperback
  • £8.99

When Tom Holt's on form, the world seems a much cheerier place' SFX

Once upon a time (or last Thursday, as it's known in this matrix) everything was fine: Humpty Dumpty sat on his wall, Jack and Jill went about their lawful business, the Big Bad Wolf did what big bad wolves do, and the wicked queen plotted murder most foul.But the humans hacked cried havoc, shut down the wicked queen's system (mirrors 3.1) and corrupted her database - and suddenly everything was not fine at all. But at least we know that they'll all live happily ever after. Don't we?Computers and fairy tales collide to hilarious effect in the latest sparkling cocktail of mayhem, wit and wonder from the master of comic fantasy.More information on this book and others can be found on the Orbit website at www.orbitbooks.co.uk

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781857239881
  • Publication date: 01 Jun 2000
  • Page count: 320
Biographical Notes

Tom Holt is the author of such comic fantasy classics as WHO'S AFRAID OF BEOWULF?, EXPECTING SOMEONE TALLER and OVERTIME.

Uniquely twisted ... cracking gags — Rob Grant, THE GUARDIAN
Frantically wacky and wilfully confusing ... gratifyingly clever and very amusing — MAIL ON SUNDAY
Frothy, fast and funny — SCOTLAND ON SUNDAY
Dazzling — TIME OUT
Orbit

Snow White And The Seven Samurai

Tom Holt
Orbit

Nothing But Blue Skies

Tom Holt

There are very many reasons why British summers are either non-existent or, alternatively, held on a Thursday. Many of these reasons are either scientific, dull, or both - but all of them are wrong, especially the scientific ones.The real reason why it rains perpetually from January 1st to December 31st (incl.) is, of course, irritable Chinese Water Dragons.Karen is one such legendary creature. Ancient, noble, near-indestructible and, for a number of wildly improbable reasons, working as an estate-agent, Karen is irritable quite a lot of the time.Hence Wimbledon.But now things have changed and Karen's no longer irritable.She's FURIOUS.More information on this book and others can be found on the Orbit website at www.orbitbooks.co.uk

Orbit

Dead Funny: Omnibus 1

Tom Holt

FLYING DUTCH - It's amazing the problems drinking can get you into. One little swig from the wrong bottle and you go from being an ordinary Dutch sea-captain to an unhappy immortal, drifting around the world with your similarly immortal crew. Little does Cornelius Vanderdecker, the Flying Dutchman, suspect that a chance encounter in an English pub might just lead to the end of his cursed life.FAUST AMONG EQUALS - The management buy-out of Hell wasn't going quite as planned. For a start, there had been that nasty business with the perjurers, and then came the news that the Most Wanted Man in History had escaped. But Kurt 'Mad Dog' Lundqvist, the foremost bounty hunter of all time, is on the case, and he can usually be relied on to get his man - even when that man is Lucky George Faustus...Exuberant comedy from Tom Holt at his inventive best.

Orbit

Falling Sideways

Tom Holt

From the moment the first Homo Sapiens descended from the trees, possibly onto their heads, humanity has striven towards civilisation. Fire. The Wheel. Running Away from furry things with more teeth than one might reasonably expect - all are testament to man's ultimate ascendancy.It is a noble story, a triumph of intelligence over adversity and so, of course, complete and utter fiction.For one man has discovered the hideous truth: that humanity's ascent has been ruthlessly guided by a small gang of devious frogs.More information on this book and others can be found on the Orbit website at www.orbitbooks.co.uk

Orbit

Little People

Tom Holt
Orbit

Valhalla

Tom Holt

As everyone knows, when great warriors die their reward is eternal life in Odin's great hall - otherwise known as Valhalla.But Valhalla has changed. It's grown. It's diversified. Just like any corporation, the Valhalla Group has had to adapt to survive.Unfortunately, nothing could have prepared it for the arrival of Carol Kortright, one-time cocktail waitress, currently dead, and not at all happy.Sparkling comic fantasy from one of Britain's sharpest, funniest writers.More information on this book and others can be found on the Orbit web-site at www.orbitbooks.co.uk

Orbit

Only Human

Tom Holt

Something is about to go wrong. Very wrong. What do you expect if the Supreme Being decides to get away from it all for a few days, leaving his naturally inquisitive son to look after the cosmic balance of things?A minor hiccup with a human soul and a welding machine soon leads to a violent belch, and before you know it the human condition - not to mention the lemming condition - is tumbling down the slippery slope to chaos.

Orbit

Wish You Were Here

Tom Holt

Welcome to your Heart's Desire. It was a busy day on Lake Chicopee. But it was an eclectic bunch of sightseers and tourists that had the strange local residents rubbing their hands with delight. There was Calvin Dieb, the lawyer setting up the property deal, who'd lost his car keys; there was Linda Lochuck, the tabloid journalist who could smell that big, sensational story; there was dumpy Janice DeWecoe, who was just on a walking holiday but who longed for love. But, most promising of all, there was Wesley Higgins, the young man from Birmingham, England, who was there because he knew about the legend of the ghost of Okeewana and what she promised. Just immerse yourself in the waters of the lake and receive your heart's desire. The only drawback was that it was Okeewana who decided just what that was . . . And it isn't always what you have in mind. Ask the ghost of Talks with Squirrels, the Indian brave who still dwells hereabouts. Or those very polite Vikings whose boat keeps on sinking.

Orbit

In Your Dreams

Tom Holt
Orbit

Divine Comedies: Omnibus 3

Tom Holt
Orbit

You Don't Have To Be Evil To Work Here, But It Helps

Tom Holt
Orbit

Only Human

Tom Holt
Orbit

The Portable Door

Tom Holt
by Amanda Carlson

Full Blooded

Read the first chapter of Full Blooded by Amanda Carlson, the start of an exceptionally fast-paced and irresistibly sexy new urban fantasy trilogy!

Orbit

Mightier Than The Sword: Omnibus 2

Tom Holt

MY HERO - Writing novels? Piece of cake, surely ... or so Jane thinks. Until hers starts writing back. At which point, she really should stop. The one thing she should not do is go into the book herself. After all, that's what heroes are for. Unfortunately, the world of fiction is a far more complicated place than she ever imagined. And she's about to land her hero right in it.WHO'S AFRAID OF BEOWULF? - Well, not Hrolf Earthstar, for a start. The last Norse king of Caithness, Hrolf and his twelve champions are woken from a centuries-long sleep when archaeologist Hildy Frederiksen finds their grave mound. Not only that, Hrolf decides to carry on his ancient war against the Sorcerer-King. In a mixture of P.G. Wodehouse, Norse mythology and Laurel and Hardy, Hildy and her Viking companions face such perils as BBC film crews, second-rate fish and chips and the Bakerloo line in their battle against the powers of darkness.

Orbit

Tall Stories: Omnibus 5

Tom Holt

EXPECTING SOMEONE TALLER - All he did was run over a badger - sad, but hardly catastrophic. But it wasn't Malcolm Fisher's day, for the badger turned out to be none other than Ingolf, last of the Giants. With his dying breath, he reluctantly handed to Malcolm two Gifts of Power, and made him ruler of the world. But can Malcolm cope with the responsibility? YE GODS! - Being a Hero bothers Jason Derry. It's easy to get maladjusted when your mum's a suburban housewife and your dad's the Supreme Being. It can be a real drag slaying fabulous monsters and retrieving golden fleeces from fire-spitting dragons, and then having to tidy your room before your mum'll let you watch Star Trek. But it's not the relentless tedium of imperishable glory that finally brings Jason to the end of his rope; it's something so funny that it's got to be taken seriously. Deadly seriously ...

Orbit

For Two Nights Only: Omnibus 4

Tom Holt

OVERTIMEIt all started for Guy Goodlet somewhere over Caen. One moment he was heading for the relative safety of the coast, aware that fuel was low and that the Mosquito had more than a few bullet holes in it. The next, his co-pilot was asking to be dropped off. This would have been odd if Peter had still been alive. Since he was dead, it was downright worrying. GRAILBLAZERSFifteen hundred years have passed and the Grail is still missing, presumed ineffable; the Knights have dumped the Quest and now deliver pizzas; the sinister financial services industry of the lost kingdom of Atlantis threatens the universe with fiscal Armageddon; while in the background lurks the dark, brooding, red-caped presence of Father Christmas.

Orbit

Saints And Sinners: Omnibus 6

Tom Holt

PAINT YOUR DRAGON - The cosmic battle between Good and Evil ... But suppose Evil threw the fight? And suppose Good cheated? When sculptress Bianca's recreation of St. George and his scaly chum gets a bit too life-like it opens up a whole new can of wyrms ... The dragon knows that Evil got a raw deal and is looking to set the record straight. And George (who cheated) thinks the record's just fine as it is. OPEN SESAME - Just as the boiling water was about to be poured on his head and his life flashed before his eyes, Akram the Terrible, the most feared thief in Baghdad, knew that this had happened before. Many times. And he was damned if he was going to let it happen again, just because he was a fictional character. Meanwhile, back in Southampton, Michelle gets a bit of a shock when she puts on her Aunt Fatima's ring and the computer and the telephone start to bitch at her. But that's nothing compared to what the kitchen appliances have to say ...

Orbit

Fishy Wishes: Omnibus 7

Tom Holt
Orbit

Earth, Air, Fire And Custard

Tom Holt

J.W. Wells seemed to be a respectable establishment, but the company now paying Paul Carpenter's salary is in fact a deeply sinister organisation with a mighty peculiar management team. Paul thought he was getting the hang of it (particularly when he fell head over heels for his strangely alluring colleague Sophie), but death is never far away when you work at J.W. Wells. Unlike the stapler - that's always going awol. Our lovestruck hero is about to discover that custard is definitely in the eye of the beholder. And that it really stings.Tom Holt's exceedingly comic fantasies are populated with evil goblins, annoying sprites and people like us. However, it's not always possible to tell the difference.