Have a Naughty New Year ...

We're getting the New Year off to a naughty start with the publication of In Bed With, a sizzling collection of fiction provocateur. Your x-rated name is a combination of your first pet and the street where you grew up (a common misconception is that it's your mother's maiden name, but streets tend to sound, well, a bit ruder). Needless to say it's got us all thinking about our frisky alter egos, and the kind of people they'd be. Brace yourself ...

My x-rated name is Sabre Seal Hollow. From the flutter of the fake lashes to the sweep of synthetic extensions, the swathes of animal print adorning 'enhanced' features and the squint-and-you'd-never-know rip-off Louboutins, I don't think there would be much that wasn't 'faux' about this minx.

My porn name is Bromley Basingstoke, which sounds like an elderly, slightly doddery porn star from the rough part of town. I imagine she wears a grubby brown cardigan. [Did you have to?? - Ed]

Mine is Domino Mills. I'm sure I'd have an eye patch and wear fishnet stockings. I'd be a bit rough and smell faintly of chamois leather, maybe a bit of lighter fluid. I might smoke cigars as well. Fire and dirt and animal skin. Yes.

My name is Tortoise Laburnum. I'm thinking pink feather boa, long cigarette holder and dark glasses – a sort of jazz porn star.

Mine is Mickey Twilight. Mickey Twilight is boyishly slim and wears her hair in a shingle bob. She now travels from place to place on a bicycle with a front basket. She smokes cigarettes from a long cigarette holder but only when she's in public. Mickey doesn't smoke when alone.

My x-rated name is Marilyn Lascelles, which conjures up the image of a house-proud blonde sex bomb in a pencil skirt. She'd be happy to allow saucy shenanigans in her living room, but only when the protective plastic cover is on the sofa.

Mine is Bunny Hutchins, which I'm very proud of! I'd be irresistibly cute and devastatingly dangerous at the same time.

My x-rated name is Tommy Chestnut. I'm not sure how to describe what I'd be like, but suffice to say I wouldn't be pleasant.

Mine is BJ Du Cane. Most likely to be heard saying: 'That's Black Jack, to you, mister!' My caramel-coloured, Elfin-haircut-ted porn star alter ego is into black leather and studding in a big way. From her thigh-high patent leather boots to her plaited leather whip and bodice, she is not for the faint-hearted. (Safe word: Red Jack!)

Click here to read a sensational In Bed With story!

Posted 23/01/2009 11:49:07 by Darren Turpin with 1 comments.