IN OUR DREAMS
The M&S Take That ads. Where is this country house where they can be found frolicking with Twiggy and co? We want to be prancing around in the snow with Howard and Mark, throwing cheeky winks at Gary over the exchange of a woollen scarf (we just want you to be warm, Gary). We want to play charades and pull crackers and laugh in an attractive way over a glass of port. (But maybe not with that one who always swans around in underwear – not a friendly sight when you’ve just eaten eleven mince pies.)
Having a small child as a relative so that making cards covered in glitter, sticking holly on everything stationery and jumping around in near-hysteria to the Muppet’s Christmas Carol is all entirely legitimate. Christmas isn’t Christmas until seen through the eyes of a child hopped-up on white chocolate snowmen and dancing about to the hits of High School Musical. Go Wildcats!
Arm warmers. Don’t you just hate it when there’s a little gap of bare skin between the sleeves of your coat and your glove? How can you expect to be toasty with this kind of exposure? You need arm warmers, and the thicker and woollier the better. Stick these babies on under your coat and you’ll be fine for the frost. Even more, they leave your fingers free for all the important stuff, like paying for Wispas and, er, unwrapping them.
Waiting for the day when advent calendars and tree decorations get marked down in the shops, to swoop in and grab a mouthful of delicious and cost-effective tasty festive treats. Who said the credit crunch couldn’t be fun? And filling.
Twilight, the movie. We went to an early showing on a snowy Sunday morning and enjoyed every single minute of the experience. It is beautifully shot and at its heart is an unforgettable love story. Edward Cullen will have even grown women swooning, we promise. Adapted from the first book in Stephenie Meyer’s phenomenally bestselling series, the film will inspire you to pick up the book immediately.
STUFF OF NIGHTMARES
The X Factor. We’re sorry, but it’s true. Is there any justice in the world? No sorry, that’s Lemar and Fame Academy – it’s all so confusing these days. But seriously, Is there any justice in the world? It’s a big question, and never more so than when it comes to this make or break Saturday night competition. And it seems the answer is . . . No. No no no no no. Why isn’t Laura in it any more? Where is itsy bitsy teeny weeny Austin? Why isn’t Ruth still belting out the ballads? Where have all the voices gone? Now we’re left with squeaky Eoghan, who’s very sweet but has the strangest thick-as-rope hair out of anyone we’ve ever seen, not to mention a very weird pleading expression when his vote number is read out. And Diana, softly hooting through the weeks like a bird with its wings trapped in a cobweb. It’s been upsetting. By the time this goes out, we’ll have a winner. Please God, let it be JLS.
Cold ears/noses/fingertips/other extremities. Think you’re wrapped up warm? There’ll always be something . . .
Mince pies. Every time I bite into one, I expect actual mince. It’s unnerving.
The inevitable come-down. Boyfriend didn’t pick up on hints about Benefit perfume. Mum put weird apricots in the stuffing. You realise you missed Toy Story because you had to play that fourth game of Scrabble with your granddad. And then, finally, you’re at the longest point in the year till another Christmas. Boo.
That weird thing where you get back to work in the New Year and realise you’ve been away so long you’ve forgotten how to write (or is that just us? If so, please don’t tell the Between the Sheets boss lady)
Posted 19/12/2008 16:09:30 by The Between the Sheets team with 0 comments.