Jeff Somers was born in Jersey City, New Jersey. As a child he imagined he would be a brain surgeon, until a spirit-crushing experience convinced him that in order to be a brain surgeon he would have to actually attend school, work hard, and master basic mathematics. After a severe head trauma, he chose instead to write stories and learn the high art of cocktail mixing, and spent the next twenty years in a pleasant haze of fiction and booze. Since 1995, he has published his own magazine, The Inner Swine.

Jeff Somers lives in Hoboken, NJ, with his lovely wife Danette and their plump, imperious cat Pierre. Jeff insists the cat would be delicious.